What If There Is No Global Warming?

What if my government lied to me and all of us...again?

"Happy Earth Day Everyone!"

Happy Earth Day? Wait, hold on, not so fast. Stop! Deflate the balloons. Cancel the caterer. Return all the bottled water. Stop the music. Stop marching. Disband the parade. Everyone go home.

"Hey, I see you trying to hide with that tuba. Go home. And you! Stop banging that frigging drum. You're giving me such a terrible headache that I can't think straight. The Earth Day parade is cancelled. Sorry. Now all of you go home, beat it, scram, please leave, get lost, just go away. Yeah, well, I'm disappointed, too, everyone likes a parade. Sorry."

For the rest of you, do not throw any more biodegradable confetti out the windows, you're making a mess. They'll be no Earth Day celebration this year or any other year, perhaps. After 40 years of Earth Days, Earth Day, as we know it, may be over, done, and finished for good. I think we all may have been tricked, deceived, fooled, and lied to about the importance of such an, on the surface, good holiday, as Earth Day, by of all people, Uncle Sam.

"There he is! That's him! Uncle Sam! Get him!" Gees, I've never seen an old guy in a top hat run so fast. "Where'd he go? Damn, he just ducked in the Federal Building. That must be where he lives."

Now that Earth Day is quickly approaching, with the big deal that our Washington politicians on both sides of the aisle make about global warming, with those passionately for it and those vehemently against it, and with both sides arguing too many negative planetary changes and Earthly events that can neither be, yet, proven or disproven, I can't help but wonder. Being one of the downtrodden middle class persons that I am, with my naiveté and good unsuspecting nature abused, more than once, by our lawmakers, now that I'm older and wiser, I finally have the clarity of insight. With that said, in the name of global warming, am I being duped, yet, again, by those who I elected and put in power to serve my interests as an American citizen, while, instead, these politicians push their personal agendas, yet, again, and leave office richer than they entered?

"Are you kidding me? What is going on here?"

With all the greed, power, influence, and corruption that happens in Washington, and the enormous amount of money to be made on Wall Street, on the pretense of all of us doing the right thing, recycling recyclables, conserving energy, and walking with a smaller carbon footprint to, supposedly, help save the planet from devastation and all things living from extinction, just answer me this one simple question. I really need to know.

"Is global warming just another ruse for someone to get rich quick? Is the threat of the rising temperature of the Earth just another moneymaking scheme embraced by Uncle Sam to rewire not only the American and but also the world economy from red, white, and blue to greenback green, figuratively and literally? Is our government lying to us or are they telling us the truth about global warming?"

How are we to know if they're lying or not? Suddenly, I feel so stupid. I guess they figure we'll all be dead, by the time we discover the real truth about global warming.

Let's see a raise of hands. Who can tell me the truth? What do you think? This is your chance to voice your opinion. I invite everyone and anyone to leave their comment. Only, since this is an Earth Day contest story, don't forget to vote for my story. Think 5, my favorite number. As the author of this story, I reserve the right to delete any commenter who doesn't give me a 5 vote.

All joking aside, I'd like to know. I'd really like to know. Do you believe there really is global warming and that the Earth is getting warmer, the glaciers are melting, and our fauna and flora are not only dying and disappearing but also going extinct? Are we at risk of killing off the polar bears or is that bullshit, too?

Or are you of the opinion that you believe there is no global warming, the glaciers are not melting, that the planet is just going through a warming cycle, before it goes through a cooling cycle, and before repeating the process over and again? Are you of the thought that it's meant for the strong to survive and humans should not be part of that equation, by interfering with the balance of nature and, if a plant or wildlife goes extinct, so be it; it was meant to happen? What are your thoughts? These are my thoughts and the reason for this story.

Forgive me for being skeptical, cynical, paranoid, and untrusting, but my government has made me that way. I can't help but scratch my head and look over my shoulder, while waiting for Big Brother to look in my pockets, open my wallet, search my underwear drawer at home, and copy the files on the hard drive of my computer. Suddenly, why do I have the sensation that a satellite from outer space is watching me, following me, actually? I heard they can read a license plate from outer space. Is that really true? How can they do that? I have a good mind to camouflage my car, my house, me, and my dog. I wonder if they know about the affair I've been having. It makes me wonder, if they know what I'm thinking now?

"Ass, tits, pussy, ass, tits, pussy, ass, tits, pussy," maybe, after thinking that, they'll leave me alone. What does it matter if I'm a woman? They'll just think me lesbian.

Only, regarding Earth Day and, more specifically, global warming, I'd really like to know, if there is such a phenomena of global warming. What does our government know about global warming that they aren't telling us? Or is that classified information that we won't have available to us for 20 years, when we'd have to use the Freedom of Information Act to retrieve it and read it?

When did they know it? What are they not telling us? Who knew what, when, and where? 'Fess up, I'm tired of all the lies, mumbo jumbo, and half truths. We all want the truth. Is there global warming or not? And if there is global warming, what can we do, if anything, about it?

Imagine for a moment the unthinkable. What if, indeed, there is no such thing as global warming? Is this, yet, another issue that we suspect our government is lying to us about? Maybe this plan of global warming was launched from one of those liberal think tanks in Cambridge, Massachusetts. That's where they all are, you know, Cambridge, Massachusetts, the home to MIT, formally Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and Harvard. Did you know that more small businesses are started out of those two schools, MIT and Harvard and out of that city, Cambridge, Massachusetts, than any other school and any other city in the world? It's true.

"They," who are they? We wouldn't know who "they" were, if we passed by them on the street. We'll never know their identities, but rest assured that "they" work for some intelligence agency for our government, no doubt. When it comes to the American taxpayer paying the salary of these think tank wizards to think of things and then not tell us what they thought of but, instead, to lie to us and tell us half truths about what they uncovered, while they were thinking, makes me not trust what any politician, newspaper, and news agency reports. It wouldn't surprise me if the scandal of think tanks goes beyond our wildest imaginings. Truly, it hurts my head, just to think about it. As soon as I finish this story, I have to go lie down to rest. With nothing else left to think about, I'm all thought out; I'm spent.

Did any of you watch Sydney Pollack's movie, Three Days Of The Condor, with Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway, Cliff Robertson, and Max von Sydow? If you've never seen it, I recommend it. Without doubt, it's an eye opener to what really goes on behind the scenes. I've watched it several times and even though I know the ending, I still find the movie thrilling and the unfolding events exciting.

The movie is about an innocuous researcher, Robert Redford, who is employed by the CIA to read books every day. That's his job, to read books. Imagine being paid to read books. Imagine telling your wife or husband that you're going to work to read books. Wow, I wouldn't mind doing that job, all day. Imagine how smart you'd be after one year, five years, and twenty years of reading books every day, during work. Oh, you do that now at your job? Lucky you. Well, there goes my theory of you being smart from reading books.

"What are you reading today, Honey?"

"Sorry, Sweetie, but I can't tell you. That's classified information. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and marry that stripper I've been seeing. Sorry, did I just say that out loud? Never mind. Suffice to say that I just can't divulge the books that I read or that I, in fact, even read books, or can read at all. Just pretend that I'm illiterate. Okay?"

"Yeah, well, I saw a copy of Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island in your briefcase and a Batman comic book, along with a copy of Hustler magazine. You can tell me. What did Long John Silver do to get the attention of the CIA? Or is it Robin or Larry Flint, who you're thinking about at that think tank?"

"CIA? I can assure you that I work for the Public Library. I'm merely a librarian, is all."

"Yeah, right. Sure. Tell me another one."

Anyway, not unlike the movie in plot, Bourne Identity, starring Matt Damon, in Three Days Of The Condor, Joseph Turner, played by Robert Redford, reads books to uncover any ideas, plots, or scenarios that some terrorist organization or some country may adopt or is using against our government. If it's not something that is presently used against us, then is it an idea that we can use against them?

Albeit, the movie a bit dated, 1975, was made before we, actually, started using modern day and more powerful supercomputers. The job that this researcher did is now being done by supercomputers that are programmed with 'what if' scenarios and doomsday software, such as global warming, no doubt. Nonetheless, it is the genii, who work in these think tanks, that analyze all the data that these supercomputers process.

Without doubt, filed under top secret and classified information, global warming isn't the first lie our government has told us or the last lie they'll be telling us in secreting away information from us. Now that I think about it, what if our government knew ahead of time about the Japanese launching their so called surprise attack at Pearl Harbor? Did Franklin Roosevelt have prior knowledge of the impending attack? By having America believe that we were caught by surprise and innocently dragged into World War II, is that the reason they needed for us to join the war, because there were so many people against the war?

Now that I think about it, what's the real story about Roswell, New Mexico, Area 51? Did aliens really land on Earth back in July 1947? A retired colonel said he saw dead bodies that were alien in appearance. Why the cover up? After more than 60 years, why not come clean?

Is the government hiding evidence of extraterrestrial life? Was there a real live War Of The World in the way that H. G. Wells' novel, the War Of The World was adapted and narrated by Orson Welles, as a Halloween trick on October 30, 1938? What do you think? What's your opinion about that? Do you really believe we were visited by aliens and our government didn't want us to know for fear of having panic in the streets? Are they hiding a spacecraft? Are there aliens walking among us now?

Who really shot Superman, played by George Reeves, on June 16, 1959? Ruled a suicide, there's always been mystery surrounding the fact that he may have been murdered. Okay, even though George Reeves looked a bit middle aged and paunchy, when he played Superman and his costume appeared a bit padded, I loved him as Superman. Didn't you? Do you think our government covered up his murder? Do you think that some genii from one of the liberal think tanks, back then, thought the death of Superman would cause us too much consternation for us not to know the real story that the man of steel wasn't able to survive a bullet to the head?

"Take that, Superman. Bang. You're dead."

The same goes for Marilyn Monroe, for that matter. What's the real story about her death? Was that a suicide or a murder? We know that she was having sex with President Kennedy and/or his brother, Bobby. That's a documented fact. Is that why they rubbed her out, because she knew too much? Or was it some genii from one of those damn think tanks, who figured out that she'd make a Hell of a lot more money in her death than with her living?

The same holds true for Elvis, John Lennon, and Michael Jackson. They are all worth more dead than alive and the world's economy is flush with revenue and more taxes from the sudden increased the sales of their CD's books, tee shirts, and coffee mugs. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for anyone, who'd like to see me dead, I'm worth more alive than dead.

What if there was a second shooter during the President Kennedy assassination? What if it was someone from our own government who shot the President of the United States? What if the shooter is still alive today and living in Arizona with the rest of the witness protection Mafia mob? What if the CIA hired Lee Harvey Oswald to shoot the President and, knowing that Jack Ruby had cancer and wasn't going to live long anyway, then hired Ruby to shoot Oswald, as a way for him to pay off all his gambling debts and leave a little something to his wife and family? Wow. Trust me and bear with me, I may be on to something here.

Imagine this for a moment, I'm on a roll. What if man never took any steps for man or for mankind, when he supposedly walked on the surface of the moon? Yeah, suddenly, our government lost the video. Did you hear about that? "They" said it was accidentally erased. What? Are you serious? Do you think I was born yesterday? Can you say cover up?

What if Neil Armstrong never took that fateful step on the moon on July 21, 1969. What if the Apollo 11 was just a sham to appropriate money for the fledgling space program and for NASA? What if the entire affair was shot by George Lucas, the famed director of Star Wars, on the back lot of a movie set. Do you believe that, once again, our government lied to us about the moon walk? What if the astronauts aren't to blame and were all aboard a computer simulator? What if they really believed that they were launched into space and landed on the moon? The whole entire time they were in Los Angeles.

Just as we did with President Nixon with Watergate and President Clinton with Monica Lewinski, for that matter, we already caught President Reagan in his lies over the Iran-Contra scandal. Arms for hostages devised by Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North, are we all naive enough to think that those times were the first and the last time that our government ever lied to us? Come on. Really. Give me a break.

Does anyone know the real story? What really happened in Waco Texas with David Koresh and the massacre of the Branch Davidians? What's the real story about Theodore Kaczynski, the Unabomber? What about the Weaver family massacre at Ruby Ridge in Montana? Does anyone really know all there is to know about these incidences? Why were these people so mad or were they just insane mad? Tell me, I'd like to know that my government didn't lie to me about all that happened there, too. For once, I'd like to believe my government, when they tell me to just duck down and cover beneath my desk and I'll be safe from a nuclear attack. God help me.

What if all those infamous and highly contentious Votomatic punched chad ballot cards in Florida was a way, for the then, Governor Jeb Bush, to fix the election for his big brother, George? What if Papa Bush, once the CIA Director, used his existing ties and influence with the CIA to fix his son's election? What if the same thing happened, again, when Bush ran for President for a second term and won that election, too, with the help of his baby brother and his Dad? What if our government knew that planes were being used to fly into the World Trade Towers on September 11, 2001, as a way to guarantee President Bush winning a second term? No, say it's not true.

Is this what all those genii in the think tanks think about? What else are they thinking about now that will affect me later? What chance do I have against my government and those people who are way smarter than me thinking, just thinking all day long, in those think tanks? I don't have time to think. I only have time to react. I get up and go to work and come home exhausted. Too tired to think, maybe if my job was to think, I would. I just do as I'm told to do.

"Yes, sir. No ma'am."

What if there really is a Jurassic Park and there really are dinosaurs living in Costa Rica that were grown from the DNA taken from fossilized eggs? What if the Titanic really didn't hit an iceberg but was torpedoed by our government or some other government because of impending World War I? I heard the ship was used to carry munitions.

What if all of those innocent passengers onboard were just a casualty of war or the sinking of the Titanic was done as a way to murder a select few very rich and very powerful people onboard the ship that our government preferred be lost at sea in an unfortunate accident? What if there really is a Santa Claus and he does live in the North Pole? What the Hell really happened to Amelia Earhart on July 2, 1937? What's the real story behind the Bermuda Triangle? Who actually kidnapped the baby of Charles and Anne Lindbergh in 1932? Where and what is the hominoid that goes by the names of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and Yeti? Even Jane Goodall believed they existed. Is there really something living in Loch Ness? Is Oprah lesbian?

Just don't get me started on Watergate and deep throat. I was better off before, when the only deep throat that I knew about was Marilyn Chambers living Behind the Green Door. You know, now that I think about it. I don't want to know. I'm rather sublime in my ignorance. I'd rather just stick my head in the sand and pretend that my government has my best interest at heart, while I live out my little life, until the rug is pulled out from under me, yet, again, by another uncovered scandal.

"Oh, look, there's my congressman. Pardon me, while I go shake hands with him. Hi, Mr. Congressman. I just wanted to shake your hand. Hey! Give me back my fingers, you thief."

Now that I think more about it, what the Hell does global warming have to do with Earth Day anyway? Certainly, it has nothing to do with this erotica site called Literotica. On second thought, I need something to cheer me up. I need a parade.

"Hey everyone! Come on back. Let's have a parade, after all, for Earth Day. I'd rather take comfort in knowing that the dinosaurs died of global warming rather than an asteroid hitting the Earth. I'm tired of looking up at the sky waiting for an asteroid to hit my house. Besides, I'll make a small fortune recycling all these bottles and cans, after the parade is over."

Happy Earth Day