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Click heresince feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you
~E.E. Cummings
since feeling is first
there is no speak
before touch when you come
to find me - I you
who (else) pays any attention
the epicenter of my tremble? Have you
found my secret spot? Or have I started to
fall into that soft doubting place
before tears, yes, you pay attention
to the syntax of things
of all things feeling, first
when you whisper “I know, I know
I know” the others
will never wholly kiss you
our breath tangles like
toes. Yes I, you, love.
.....................
Survivor Poem 7
Form F: Glosa
Trigger: 29- Secret Pleasure
on this before because I really do love this form. I think you've executed it beautifully. Really well done (which is no surprise to me at all). I especially like the way you've woven the lines from the glose into your poem, not putting each on a separate line or even necessarily at the beginning of a line, but just fit them in where they work best. That gives the poem a very cohesive feel and allows you to fit the form to your writing style instead of the other way round. I think you might need a "to" at the start of line 6, but maybe not. It reads more smoothly to me with it there, but maybe that's just me. All in all, a wonderful glosa. It's a cool form, isn't it? :-)