tagNovels and NovellasWhy I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 09

Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 09


Note: All persons and places in this story are fictional. Any resemblances are purely coincidental, and absolutely unintentional. The author retains all rights to this story.

30. The Resignation Hits the Fan.

Charlie Gomes realized he liked the way the top 1% of the country lived. He had just gotten off the American Airlines redeye, from Los Angeles to JFK. He was fed a steak dinner with all the trimmings, and champagne. Afterwards, he had a few mixed drinks, and fell asleep for the remainder of the trip. He was very well rested, having slept in the wide leather seats, with a blanket and a pillow, and listen to music through the complementary headset. When they arrived at the gate, they were the first passengers to deplane, and not caught up in the cattle rush that was economy class. This was the way to live.

He went to the parking lot and picked up his government car and proceeded home, where he showered, shaved, changed into his work suit, locked his apartment, and headed for the elevator. He knew this was not going to be a fun day. As he walked out his buildings front door, there was a limousine parked outside. The driver was standing by the car and asked, "Sir is your name Charles Gomes?"

"Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

"I bring you greetings from Miss Celeste Mesner. My employer, James Hearst, is in the car and would like a moment of your time." The driver turned and walked to the limousine and opened the door for Gomes to get into the vehicle.

Gomes followed the driver and stepped into the car and sat down. The gentleman sitting in the rear seat introduced himself as James Hearst, and handed Charlie his card. There were three other men, in expensive suits, in the limousine. They sat silently, waiting to be introduced by their boss.

Gomes looked at the card and saw that this man was Celeste's lawyer. He said, "What can do for you, Mr. Hearst?"

"You may help me keep my client Mr. Gomes. Celeste Mesner informed me that if you are not back in California, in less than one week, she would terminate my contract with her. I do not mind adding, it is a very lucrative contract, and it would hurt me dearly to lose it. From my conversation with her, I understand there are three things that have to be done to get you back to California quickly. First, there is the problem of your lease. Second, there is the mustering you out of the FBI. Third, packing and shipping your apartment to the West Coast. Did I cover everything that needs to be done?"

"Yes, Mr. Hearst, as far as I know, that is the entire list."

"Do you have a copy of your lease, in your apartment?"

"Yes I do."

"Mr. Gomes, let me introduce you to Alfred Donald." One of the young men sitting along the side of the limousine raised his hand and said, "Hello Mister Gomes."

"If you will accompany Mr. Donald up to your apartment, and hand him your lease, in 24 hours, or less, you will no longer have a lease problem. Isn't that correct Alfred?"

"Sir, I would bet my job on it."

"Alfred, you just did. Go get the lease with Mr. Gomes, and come back. We will start working on another of your problems."

"Yes, sir."

Within 10 minutes, Charlie and Alfred were back in the limousine, with his lease in hand. Alfred Donald moved to the front of the car and began making phone calls.

The limousine left the curb and headed for the FBI headquarters in Brooklyn, where Charlie was stationed.

"Mr. Gomes, may I call you Charlie? You can call me Jim."

"Yes, sir, that will be fine."

"Charlie, Michael Yearling is going to set up an appointment with a moving company next. They are bonded and insured, and if one item is missing from your inventory, when your goods reach your new home, you will own that company, and their principles will be in jail for a very long time. They will be at your apartment on Thursday morning to pack. They will move your furniture and goods to the airport for transportation on Friday. It will arrive in St. Luis Obisbo by the following Wednesday at the latest, and go into storage, until you are ready to put it into your new home. Miss Mesner has covered all the costs of this transportation and Stephen Fellows will make sure everything goes as planned. He will be escorting your goods to the aircraft and checking them in. From that point on he will be tracking each item, until they you and you have inspected each piece, personally." Every time James Hearst mentioned a name, one of the young men, in the car raised his hand, indicating who he was. Charlie made note of each of them.

Charlie asked, "Isn't a bit unusual to move household goods by aircraft?"

James Hearst laughed and replied "Charlie, if Ms. Mesner told me to move the Chrysler building by rowboat, I would attempt to do it. That is how important she is to me as a client."

"Yes, Jim, she has that effect on a lot of people."

"Wednesday and Thursday evenings you will spend the nights at a hotel close to my offices. We will have you measured, and fitted for several tuxedos, in different designs, colors, and everything goes with them. We can probably do that at my office, but it would be more reasonable to do it at their facility. I will be your shadow this week. I will fit it into our schedule, depending on how far the FBI wants to play hardball with you becoming a private citizen. Regardless of what they do, you will be a free man, and on an aircraft heading for the west coast by Friday.

"Friday, I thought you had a week to do all of this; that should have given you until Monday of next week."

James Hearst smiled at Charlie. "I see you do not know everything about our Celeste, yet. When she gives you a week to complete a task, and she calls you on a weekend it means you have until Friday, of that week to complete it. She called me at 1 AM on a Monday morning and told me she needed a business contract ready in one week. I had all the information I needed, and told her it would be ready on time. I believed, as you did, I had until the next Monday to complete everything. She called me the following Thursday, and I verified that the contract would be ready Monday afternoon for everyone's signature. She reamed me a new asshole, and informed me that if I did not complete the contract by Friday at midnight, I had lost her as a client, permanent. I had to stop my complete office staff from doing their work, to concentrate on that one file. We finished it at seven minutes after midnight, Saturday morning. Everyone was so busy running around the office getting things done, that they did not see her walk into the office. She watched us until the moment someone yelled that they were done copying all the contracts. Several minutes later, she called on the office telephone to see the status of the contract.

She asked, "Are you done, yet?"

I said to her, "Yes, we are done, but we were seven minutes late."

She said, "You are fired."

I replied, calmly, "Thank you for your business, Celeste. We tried our best to serve you properly. I am sorry we disappointed you. I can give you the names of several other law firms that will do a very good job handling your accounts."

"Turn around you fucking idiot. You are too honest to lose as a lawyer. If you had lied to me and told me you were on time, I would have canned your ass like a tuna. You worked your ass off for me, and I appreciate it. My account is yours, until you screw me."

She looked at the exhausted office staff and told each of them they were getting a $5000 bonus. She looked at me and said, "Not you, you own the place. You get a $20 million a year retainer, against $5000 an hour? Get yourself a phone. I am the only person to have that number. If you do not answer it, you are fired. I do not care if you are taking a shit, answer the fucking phone."

The staff laughed, because of what she said. I could not help but laugh, along with them. I could picture myself, with my pants around my ankles, diving for my phone.

Then she took us all out to dinner at one of those fancy deli's, and when they said they were closing, she told them that they were not closing, until she told them they could close. She paid a substantial sum to keep them open. It was a fun evening and morning Charlie and the staff will never forget it."

"Then we come to the final challenge Charlie; mustering you out of the FBI. I will be doing that, with you personally. I will guarantee you that they are going to be bitter. They are going to do everything, in their power, to dissuade you from leaving. They are going to be a stone cold bitch about this, and you are going to have to remain firm in your decision to leave. Ann is waiting for you, and if you hurt her, by not returning, I will have to defend Miss Mesner at her murder trial. Ann is her life support system. There have been several instances, in Celeste's young life, that Ann was the only person who could save her. I do not care if you hid in the deepest cave, in the tallest mountain, in the world, Celeste will find you, and tear you apart with her bare hands. No one in this world could dissuade her from doing it. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Charlie laughed, "Yes Jim, that is the Celeste we all know and love."

James smiled, and picked up his briefcase. He opened it and showed it to Charlie. In it was a Wi-Fi printer, satellite phone, with a scrambler, and a computer. He said, "I have two lawyers waiting for my calls. One is at the federal courthouse. The other is at the state courthouse. There is also a judge with each of them. When your friends try to delay your departure, I will call one of my people and get the appropriate documents signed and sent to me immediately. Before the feds know what hit them; they will legally be served with a writ. They will have to explain why they are delaying your departure. They have no legal right to hold you, and they will be in deep shit, if they try."

Charlie looked at Jim and said, "It is nice to have friends in very high places."

"Charlie, even the Federal Bureau of Investigation does not have the budget in their legal department to take on Celeste. When they see my name at the bottom of the writ, they will shit their pants, because I only have one client: Celeste Mesner."

Charlie laughed and asked Jim if he had a lot of downtime.

Jim replied, "Yes I do. It helps me keep my office running smoothly, and bring my new lawyers up to speed. I love training them and watching them, as they grow into superb litigators. My golf game has improved, and my tennis game is great. Then, all of a sudden, at 3 o'clock one morning, that phone rings, and my life changes instantly. When I answer it, she screams at me, 'What took you so long?' It does not matter if I answered it on the first ring, or the fourth ring, I get the same greeting."

"Hello Celeste, it is great hearing you yell at me, again."

"You had better not start with me Jim. I will fire your ass."

"You have fired my ass before, but you have kept the rest of me." Then we get down to business, and she tells me what she needs.

Charlie said, "You have not met her friend Antonia, Jim. If you want to see gasoline vapors and a match, you have to see those two when they get started."

Jim said, "... and they are friends?"

"They are the very best of friends, Jim."

"Oh my God, the explosion would rock the world."

"It already has, I am surprised you did not feel it."

"One day, when we have more time, you must give me all the details, Charlie."

"I do not know all the details. All I know is that it involves Celeste, Antonia, and Frank, in a ménage a trios, that nearly brought all the hotel guests to their door, because of the screaming that was going on, in their room."

"Charlie, one day, I am going to have to bed that woman, just to find out what it is like."

"I am sorry to tell you this Jim; she is off the market. She has fallen in love, up to her hair follicles. She is going back to Italy to apologize to the guy, and ask him to marry her. If you are really her friend as well as her lawyer, start making a prenuptial agreement. You and I both know she will need it. If you need help, get the best that there is. I do not want her blind-sided, because she is so desperately in love, she may try to go without it. I will not allow that to happen. I have not known her for a very long, but I know from my long experience in law enforcement how these things can fall apart, and how women can get hurt badly by them. It will not happen to Celeste, even if I have to arrange for an accident to happen."

"I did not hear that last statement, because I am your lawyer. I will start on the prenuptial agreement instantly. Let me make a phone call."

Jim was still on the phone, as they pulled up in front of the FBI building in Brooklyn. Some of his friends were standing outside of the building, smoking, when he exited the car, and immediately started razzing him about winning the lottery.

He asked them, "How did you guys find out? It is not even on the news yet."

"We are FBI agents, Frank. We know everything."

"What the hell am I going to do with $118 million?"

That was all it took to reel his friends in. "You really did win?"

"I thought you said you knew all about it guys."

"We were only kidding with you Gomes."

"So was I."

"You son of a bitch Charlie; you really had us going. When did you develop a sense of humor?"

"I guess I developed it in California, when I fell in love."

"Once is enough Charlie. You fooled us with the lottery, but you never, ever go near a woman."

"Well, guys, watch me today as I handed my resignation. I am moving out to California to be with her. She is a professor at the University of California San Luis Obisbo. I am leaving this week, to get back to her. We are in love, and we are going to get married, as soon as possible. Her name is Anne Michaels. You can look that up on our computers, and you can see what she looks like. I do not know how I got so lucky, but she and I hit it off the instant we looked at each other. I do not want to be away from her any longer than I have to be."

"No shit Charlie, you are telling the truth. I can see it in your face. Congratulations old man, is there anything we can do to help you?"

(At this point I have to correct a mistake I made in the last chapter. San Luis Obisbo is North of Los Angeles off of I-5. I was correct about Bakersfield and do not know how I managed to put San Diego down instead of San Francisco. I apologize to everyone who knew the correct direction of that glorious area of California, with its rolling hills, and morning fog, blown in from the Pacific Ocean. I guess I am as crazy as my psychiatrist tells me I am.)

"Once my lawyer gets off the phone, we are going to head off and submit my resignation. If you guys could do some blocking for me, when I get back in the office, and keep some of the bastard supervisors from getting too close to us, it would be a big help."

"We will round up some of the guys, and form a committee to keep them busy chasing their tales. We will try to keep them away from you all day. Good luck Charlie, do not forget to send us an invitation to the wedding. We may not get there, but we will know where to send the gift."

"Thanks guys, I appreciate your help."

Jim came out of the limousine and said "Come on Charlie, we have some work to do."

Charlie introduced him to his friends and told him what they were going to do for him that day.

Jim handed them a few of his cards. He told them, "If they get to obnoxious, hand them one of these cards, and ask them which court they would like to meet me in for "Obstruction of Justice" and a few other counts for which they would lose their jobs. Then turn them loose to meet me. If they say one word to Charlie, without going through me, they will be in so much shit; they will not know which way it came from."

"Charlie, where did you meet this guy, we love him already."

"I love him too, the only problem is, he has only one client, and she is a friend of mine. If you can afford a $20 million retainer per year, you can have him also."

"This building is not worth $20 million, where would we get that amount of money?"

"We would have to steal what is in vault and sell it. However, we are too smart and too straight to do that."

"Yeah, isn't that the truth."

Jim said, "Okay Charlie, let us go have some fun."

Charlie said to his friends, "What other man have you ever heard say that going up against federal government was fun?"

What Jim did over the next four hours could have been turned into an episode of the original Miami Vice. He harassed, cajoled, threatened, deceived, and told a lie to any federal authority in that building, necessary, in order to get his way. With the use of his cell phone, printer, and judges signatures on documents, sent and received in a matter of moments, the Assistant Federal Prosecutors wanted to get James Hearst out of their building, as soon as possible. For them if that meant getting Charlie Gomes separated from the FBI, and into civilian life that was fine. The money the government owed him, would be taken care of later, sent to Jim's office, and transferred to Charlie after it was verified to be correct. Both Jim and Charlie expected it to be correct to the penny.

As Charlie was packing up his desk, all of his friends came to wish him the best of luck, and warned him that his immediate supervisor was on the warpath.

As he picked up his box and started to walk towards the elevator, his supervisor stood directly in his path. "Where the fuck do you think you are going Gomes."

"I am going anyplace where there is no asshole like you around. You could not lead a bunch of agents in a straight line down a corridor. You had no skills as an agent. The only reason they made you a supervisor, is because your uncle works for U.S. Senator. That is your only claim to fame. You did not have one arrest on your record, and you blew so many cases that the rest of us had to cover for you. When you became supervisor you treated us like shit, instead of like friends. I hope somebody figures out your incompetence and fires you."

James Hearst was standing by Charlie and asked him if everything he said was true.

Charlie said, "If you do not believe me Jim, turn around and look at the men behind me."

James turned around and looked each man in the eye.

Each man nodded, confirming what Charlie had said.

James Hearst turned around and looked at the supervisor. "Enjoy your last weeks, as a supervisor, and an FBI agent. You will be under investigation by federal prosecutors by the end of this week, and out on your ass, by the end of the month." He picked up his cell phone and called the lawyer at the federal courthouse. Within minutes he had a 'Show Cause' order in his hand for the prosecutors, to look into the possible "nepotism promotion," this man had received. He handed it to one of Charlie's friends, who gladly took up to the legal affairs offices.

Jim took Charlie by his arm and said, "Charlie, you do not belong in this building any longer. You are a private citizen and this building is for federal employees only. Why don't we get you fitted for your tuxedos?"

"Jim, I want a Federal permit to carry a concealed weapon."

"No problem." Jim picked up his phone and put in the order to his office. He told Charlie he would have it by the end of business tomorrow.

Charlie asked him if he knew everybody.

"No Charlie, I do not know everyone; just everyone that counts."

The next stop was at his personal clothier, for six tuxedos and the accompanying accoutrements, from shoes to ties. He was told that only one tuxedo would fit him properly now. He was to lose 15 pounds around his middle and the remainder of them would fit properly, after he did.

Charlie said, "I am in perfect shape. My physical was less than six months ago and I am within the glycemic index for my height and weight."

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