tagHumor & SatireWild Literoticans

Wild Literoticans


The Wild Literotican


How Bwaba Wawtaws survived a night alone, in the jungle.

This is Hugh Downers. Tonight on forty-eight minutes Bwaba and crew are on location near the last known sighting of a group of literoticans. Her objective: to capture on film, the last of the literoticans in the wild.

~Music rolls in and then scene shifts to a very dark and crowded jungle with Bwaba Wawtaws and two camera men and one lone female assistant. All look very nervous and Bwaba herself is shaking just a bit as she holds the mic in her dainty little hands.~

"Good evening folks. Tonight we search for the wild Literotican. I warn you that some images caught on film here tonight may not be suitable for your youngew children. Viewer discwetion is advised."

Hughes voice comes on now:

"What is known of the literoticans is they are mostly a nocturnal animal. They live in small groups deep in the jungle. They have humanoid bodies but have neither tact nor taste. It is believed they are a throwback to early man. They mate in groups as small as one up to the larger gatherings of ten or sometimes even more. There is very little else known, except that from time to time they get on the edges of the jungle and capture innocent people as they walk down paths, usually at night. Here we interview some of the lucky ones who have managed to escape such abductions."

"Yeah, no shit there I was just out for my evening walk when bammo I was hit with a very large group of mating males. They had me in their sharp paw like hands and were dragging me off into the jungle when a naked female ran by. While their attention was diverted to her lithe and hard body with the big breasts, I managed to break loose and run away. It was a close call I tell you, a very close call."

"You said shawp paw like hands?"

" What? OH...yes, like little sharp claws and very bony fingers."

"The captured litewotican at the science lab in Houston had vewy nice hands. How do you explain the diffewence?"

"What...do I look like some kind of fucking expert or something? You...get the camera out of my face. I don't have to answer your questions. They attacked me! Just go away!"

"How lawge was this group of males? They were all males by the way?"

"Look, it was dark, they hit me so fast I just couldn't tell you. The ones that had me were definitely male. Their things were...well long and dangling under their bellies."

"There you have it ladies and gentlemen live action repowts from the deep jungle near Houston. A barely cohewent escapee from a group of mating litewoticans. One of the few known to have gotten away after capture."

Camera pans to the victim as they go away for commercial break. Bwaba is talking to her assistant and the two cameramen. The assistant is shaking her head in a strong no fashion as Bwaba makes a point with them. Next scene is Bwaba walking through a very bushy jungle trail with her entourage following closely along.

"We are attempting to locate and film a gathewing of litewoticans tonight. This is a vewy dangewous thing to do. Parents, this is where you may want to send your children to bed. Some of the scenes we bwing you tonight may disturb a young person greatly."

In the background noises are heard that sounds vaguely like couples having hot sex. The assistant is almost in tears as Bwaba forces her to go on ahead. At one point she disappears around a tree in the middle of the trail for a second and thumping and screams are heard. As the cameraman runs around there is nothing there. The assistant is gone, her glasses lying on the jungle floor.

In the distance screams and cries are heard as the brush moves and nothing else is seen. A very shaken Bwaba Wawtaws is barely able to hold the microphone as she faces the camera.

"We have just lost ouw assistant. I believe that a group of wild litewoticans has managed to get their bony hands on her. I fear for her life. All we can do now is pway that she will be all right until a wescue mission is mounted."

The second cameraman has worked around them and is looking out into the jungle. He has the look of a very frightened man. The first cameraman is focusing on Bwaba as more thumps are heard. A hurried camera pan shows that the second man is gone. Where he had been standing is a camera, lying on its side. Its broken lens staring blindly off into space.

Screams of the assistant are heard in the distance followed by moans. Bwaba is visibly shaken and the camera is shaking as the cameraman valiantly tries to focus on her. They move on, much slower now. It is obvious that Bwaba is very scared and the cameraman is shaking so bad the film is almost useless. Bwaba turns to face the camera.

"We may have made a mistake coming hewe in such a small pawty. I fear that our two hardy cwewmembers are lost fowevew. I will twy to find them befowe we-e-e-e-OH GAWD!"

The camera is violently thrown onto the ground and lands on its side still filming. Bwaba has her hands on her mouth as she looks off at some frightening sight. Her tears are running down her face as sounds are heard. A mans voice pleads to be let loose.

She is left alone in the now silent jungle. With the camera running we see her stumbling around in and out of the picture as she mumbles to herself.

"I cawn't believe the size of theiw things. Oh My Gawd! I can't believe this has happened."

Off in the jungle the assistant is in the middle of what could only be described as a gangbang. Her moans are one of a woman lost in lust as men and women attend to her body. She is in the midst of a large hard orgasm as we next pan to a clearing just a ways further.

There lies a man. Naked with lipstick marks all over his body. His soft cock is lying on his stomach and the bush's are alive with movement. He is looking off at nothing and saying over and over.

"Laurel, Laurel, I love Laurel, please come back Laurel please."

Off in the other direction is the other man. He too is naked and lying down on the jungle floor moaning. His body is covered with lipstick kiss marks and scratches. His dazed look is of a very satisfied male. A cigarette is dangling out of his mouth.

"K-K-Kill..er Mu-Muf-Muffin. God what a fuck. Geez I have never been laid like that before. Her name was, Killer muffin."

Bwaba is left lying against a fallen tree. Her breath is hard and ragged. Her blouse is torn exposing quite a bit of cleavage. Her sobs are heard from some distance away as she awaits her fate. Mumbling is heard in the background.

"Get Curious. He'll do her. He'll do any female."

"I don't know. This one may be too much even for Curious, Teach."

"Just get him. I think he will be able to do good things for her."

A wait of a bit then a small group approaches the edge of the clearing.

"No fucking way am I going to do her. She is too much a prima donna. Get someone else. I know, get the gals from the enclave by the river. They will do far more for her than I can."

"Curious, you have to do this for our group. Those river women got the last three females. We get these. Now go on!"

Curious walks slowly towards the frightened woman. As he comes around a tree he suddenly shakes his head the turns to run away. He forgets the tree and runs smack into it and knocks him senseless. Teacher is standing shaking his head.

"Never send in an amateur to do a pro's job."

Last scene is of Teacher standing in front of Bwaba Wawtaws as she hugs herself. The camera pans away and moans are heard. Female moans. Of a woman in love, or at least in lust of a man. So goes life in the jungle of the literoticans.

No literoticans were hurt in the filming of this documentary. We reserve the right to edit and encapsulate this documentary in any way we deem necessary to preserve the film herein. This news station and the owners of A Butt Sea Broadcasting General hold all copyrights.

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