You Are Not Lonely If He Is Dead

My name is Sudha and I am going to narrate to you events in my life that happened nearly a decade ago that transformed my life and my attitude towards sex, fidelity and morality.

I was a school teacher and my husband, Rakesh was a businessman who found success pretty early in life. He was a risk taker and lived life dangerously, both personal and business. Though he was a loving husband and father, he had a roving eye. I eventually came to tolerate and accept that. While I found myself attracted to other men and would often flirt to get even with my husband, I never crossed the line.

Rakesh's love for life on the edge had another dimension - motorcycle drag racing. It was and is illegal, but continues to this day right under the nose of the Bangalore cops.

On that fateful night, my husband and a couple of his mates were drag racing when he found himself at an intersection slamming against a speeding car. He went flying out of his motor cycle and hit the pavement head first. The doctors told us that the end was spontaneous.

I was initially devastated. I had a 6 year old daughter and had to pick up the pieces and start all over for his sake. As mine is a small family, I could not expect much emotional support and comfort. Fortunately for me, a room mate of mine in college, Anandi and another friend Bhama were very supportive emotionally

Anandi's husband was in the Gulf and she stayed back with her two children as she felt that their education needs would be better served in India. So we would also go out shopping sometimes. We were at my house one weekend afternoon when we decided to go shopping.

My husband's business was now mine to run, but since I had a full time job, I decided to sell a one third share to my hubby's friend, Vinayak and have him run it. I also used the proceeds to purchase the house next to mine. I converted the ground floor into the new office for my business and the top two floors as service apartments.

Soon I realized that I had to devote more time to the business, so I moved to a new school nearer home as a part time teacher. Vinayak and I shared the same office room and started working closely. We would meet thrice a week in the afternoons to pour over the books and discuss business plans. He would leave around 7:30 PM.

I always wore a cotton sari. Sometimes, I the sari would be starched and hence a little stiff. It would partially expose the side of my boobs, but I was always careful not to expose too much. On such days, Vinayak would pay very close attention and make it a point to stand or sit really close to me. He would pay even more attention if I wore a low cut blouse. He would either flirt or be playful but that was it. He would not cross the limits or misbehave, but it was obvious that he lusted for me. I was initially put off, but later came to accept it and was even flattered.

I was surprised to find that I had a rich quality of life now. The business was growing, I could spend more time with my daughter and I was also getting socially active. I would visit Anandi often. I had no inhibitions in her house and we would discuss anything under the sun. I confided to her my inner most feelings and she would listen patiently. I mentioned to her that Vinayak had a thing for me and was trying to make a move on me. I thought that Anandi would disapprove. But her reaction surprised me.

The interrogation proceeded something like this.

Anandi: "Does he brush against you accidentally or otherwise?"

Me: "No"

Anandi: "Does he touch you inappropriately or in inappropriate places?"

Me: "No"

Anandi: "Do you want him to?"

I did not reply

"Oh, so you too want it; anyway you too have needs you know!" she said.

I confessed to her that I started missing regular sex.

"Are you sure that he really wants to sleep with you or is it just some harmless flirting?" she asked me.

We agreed that I should first be sure that he wanted me before I went ahead and did something embarrassing, especially as we have business interests.

"Do you find him attractive?" she asked me

"Oh yes, definitely. He is very sexy."

"Why don't you flirt with him and see how far it goes?"

I thought it was an appealing idea.

I was curious to know what she did for sex. I did not ask, but was determined to find out. I would soon find out. It was in this state of mind that I went shopping with her that afternoon. It was a mixed feeling. I felt that had my hubby lived on, this conversation would not have taken place at all. On the other hand, I was getting an opportunity to explore new horizons and was turned on by it.

Our shopping trip was very eventful. We first went to a beauty parlor. I got myself a sexy new hairdo. It was actually Anandi's recommendation. It was one of the few unisex salons. My hairstylist, who called himself Manu, was a young muscular guy in his late 20s. He must have sensed my mood for he kept complimenting me on how I maintained my hair and how my new look was going add luster to the already ravishing looks.

After completing the work, he set about examining his piece of art as he chose to call it. I was wondering what he was going to do when he held a segment of hair and ran his fingers up and down all the while brushing them against my back. I clearly enjoyed the touch and the to and fro motion and the tingling sensation. He was observing me through the mirror and was encouraged to act even more boldly. As I was wearing a low cut blouse, he had plenty of room to play with. He was now moving his fingers up and down and left and right.

His fingers now reached my shoulders. His pace picked up a bit and he was rubbing the fingers furiously. He reached into my blouse and started playing with my bra strap. I started rubbing my face against his hands and at one point started licking them.

In all the action, my sari had been disturbed and cleavage fully exposed. Manu was conveniently placed and moved both his hands and started to massage my boobs. I had lost control of myself completely and would have done anything when I heard Anandi's voice. "We can leave whenever you are ready"

I was rudely jolted back to reality. I quickly went to the washroom and cooled myself with some cold water. I adjusted my sari and came out. Anandi examined me and exclaimed loudly, "Wow, that is sexy".

I paid up at the counter, then walked up to Manu and tipped him handsomely and said in a husky voice, "Thanks Manu, I'll be back next month for more".

After we came out of the shop, Anandi asked me if I had a good time. She was smiling. She knew what was going on and wanted to know if I enjoyed it. Of course I enjoyed it immensely, but felt like a teenager being patronized by someone slightly older. I was not sure what was in store for me going forward.

We went to a boutique to do some clothes shopping. Anandi took over completely. She picked a dozen salwar-kameez and churidar-kurtas for me. I have to agree that they were all exquisite and sexy. Some were sleeveless or short sleeved. Some had a V in front and a couple were revealing.

I was still very hot from the events of the day and spent a restless, but eventful and interesting night. After putting my daughter to bed, I took a cold shower hoping to douse my inner fire. But it was to no avail. I looked at myself in the mirror and started examining the cleavage. I played to myself the scene at the parlor and was once again hot. I examined my erect tits. I grabbed my boobs with both my hands and started massaging them. I shook them violently against each other. It just was not enough. I started to rub my boobs and cheeks against the mirror. I was completely wet and my pussy started aching. I grabbed the headboard of my bed and started to rub my pussy against the edge. I was drooling by now and the saliva found its way to my boobs. I removed my nightie and panties and was standing there naked. I started to massage my inner thighs and squeeze them hard. I now inserted my index finger into my pussy and pinched my clit really hard.

I played with myself to exhaustion and fell asleep after a while and went into a deep slumber. The next day, when I woke up, I was horrified to find myself with nothing on. My bedroom door was open and I was worried that my daughter would have seen me. I quickly put on my clothes and went to my daughter's room. She was still sleeping. Relieved, I started to get on with the day's work. It was a Sunday and so I could relax a bit.

But I did not. I recalled the events of the previous day and was a little down. A bit of remorse and worry about my daughter's future were the things that occupied my mind. Not to mention the guilt. Just then telephone rang. It was Anandi who called me for tea that afternoon.

I went to her place around 4:00 PM. She was wearing a thin loose caftan and had let her hair down. I noticed that she was not wearing a bra. She was in the kitchen preparing tea and some light snacks. I could see the outline of her boobs and tits against the sunrays that penetrated her caftan. Her bikini panties were also clearly visible.

As I looked out the window, I realized that what I could see, others too could see. There was particularly one person who was interested in the show. He was a young man in his 20s and he was thoroughly enjoying himself. Anandi then lifted a tea cup and gestured to him to join us for tea. I was somehow turned on by this and was once again hot. My guilt had evaporated at this point.

Vinayak usually did not come on Mondays. So I thought, I could be a bit daring and check out the new dress without embarrassment. I chose one of the new dresses, a blue salwar and a matching sleeveless kameez. It had a slightly low neck with a zipper at the back. The black bra was clearly visible through the material. I knew I was stunning and even sexy in my new hair style and dress.

Within minutes of reaching my office, I saw a blue Maruti Zen entering the building. It was Vinayak. He had dropped in unannounced. As the quarter end was nearing, we had to do a whole lot of paper work for advance tax, PF deposits, excise etc. I knew it was a lot of work as I used to help my hubby do it all. So we were going to one of our factories.

It took us about 20 minutes to reach the factory. Vinayak did not choose to comment or do anything then. Even at the factory, where we spent nearly an hour together, he did not try to make any move. I thought his behavior was exemplary, but I did not count on his low cunning.

He had to deposit some checks and so had to leave. He told me he would be back in an hour. He came back just after lunch. We worked for about an hour and then decided to leave. Vinayak said we should have some coffee at the coffee shop near by before leaving.

At the coffee shop, Vinayak finally picked up the courage to compliment me on my new looks and said I looked stunning in my new looks.

"Really? Thanks very much", I said

"Where did you buy this dress?" he asked me.

He added, "Why don't you dress like this every day?"

"Well, there wont be any novelty left", I said. For a good measure, I added "You won't be drooling like this if I wore it everyday"

He was stunned by this statement and could not answer me.

Vinayak asked me to wait there while he got his vehicle. I waited and in a couple of minutes, a motor cycle stopped near me. Vinayak lifted the helmet and said come, let's go. I asked him what happened to the car and he said there was a problem with the car and so had to get the bike.

For a moment, I was in two minds. Should I take a taxi or ask one of the factory people to find me a transport? Eventually, I decided that I should take the bike ride. My heart was racing. I was terribly excited.

The ride turned out to be a great one. The road was uneven with a lot dirt tracks and pot holes. Plus, Vinayak chose a longer route saying the regular route would be congested at that time. I initially held on to the handle behind the seat. Then we hit a pot hole and I nearly lost my balance and fell down. So I decided to use latch on to Vinayak's shoulder for balance. Then the fun began.

At the next traffic intersection, Vinayak applied the breaks so suddenly that I was pushed forward and had to hold him tightly. My chin was on his shoulder and my cheek was grazing his neck. When the vehicle started, he was even faster and I gripped him tightly. My hands were wrapped around him and my boobs started to graze his back.

We reached home soon and I had no choice but to invite him in. Vinayak readily agreed and followed me in. On the way, he was smiling and asked me if I had a good trip. We went in. I invited him to take a seat while I made some tea. Instead, he followed me to the kitchen and offered to help me.

He pulled a small box out of his pocket and said, "Everything is perfect except the ear rings". He took out a pair of beautiful blue ear rings and made me wear it.

"Perfect and sexy" he said holding my arms and kissed me on both my cheeks. I was too weak to protest. He then came behind me and hugged me gently and kissed me on the neck. As I closed my eyes he blew air into my ears.

He started to unzip my kameez with his teeth. He pressed his hands on my tummy and started rubbing it. He was now moving to and fro rubbing his increasing erect cock against my ass.

"Are your panties also new?" he whispered in my ears.

"Do you want to know?" I asked.

"I love black bras" he said.

It was my turn to tease him. "Do you want to wear them?"

"I will think about it after I remove it from you" and he unhooked my bra.

He started to massage my boobs and pinched my tits. I started to sway left and right and forward and backward and his erect cock was swaying with me. He reached for the knot of the salwar and loosened it and let it gently fall to my ankle.

I turned around and ripped his shirt and removed the belt. Then I unzipped his pants and forced it down to his knees. We were now both on the kitchen floor and rolling around. He was on the floor, and I was on top of him, my knees bent. His head has inside my cleavage and he started licking them savagely. I lowered his underwear. My groin was thrusting at his cock.

He grabbed my left tits and started biting them violently. I continued to thrust at him up and down when he grabbed me by my ass and made me sit up. He also came to the seated position and he removed my panties. With both our assess on the cold floor we locked each other with our legs. In a tight embrace, he started to insert his cock inside me. My wet pussy easily allowed him entry.

We lay in a tight embrace for a while and then I knew it was time for my daughter to return from school. We washed up and put on our clothes. He left immediately after that.

We continued the affair for almost three years. That was when we decided to go public with an IPO and he made his money and wanted to start something again from the scratch. Since we could not meet regularly after that, the affair petered out. We meet each other on social occasions, but since it is always with family, there is not much chance of another escapade.

I have since then moved on. Thought not exactly an ideal life with marital bliss, I make the best out of what I have.