Your Ice Wind

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You consume me like ice wind
Burning me with your salt
Submitting
But aching to be in charge
I lust and want
To feast on hot chilies
Burning red in my mouth
Turning you
Inside out
Feasting on
Your guts
Blood letting droplets
Coat my chin and weep on my
Arms and legs
Your moon lips erotically
Exposed
Slapped until purpled
As you cry for me to never
Stop
Get on your knees
Wrap your soul around my
Fleshed thigh
Weep for my touch
I'll grant you everything the
Ice wind allows
I adore you gaping at my
Spice
While I crush you in my arms
And clamped embrace
Begging you to stay

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2 Comments
unapologeticunapologeticalmost 17 years ago
...

Your piece was a bit disjointed, and I don't think that was your intention. You have some great images, and I like the concept of the ice wind. I'd try breaking it up into more than one stanza, and read it out loud. I find when I do that, rough bits are more obvious.

WickedEveWickedEvealmost 17 years ago
~

You have some clichés with your burning, lust, and soul, but it works in this poem. I started to cringe as I approached each possibly clichéd word, but I was surprised at how you used them in this fresh piece of writing. Could this poem be improved? Sure. But overall, it's good.

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