There are some major spelling errors that kept pulling me away from the flow of the story. Clothes, not cloths....break...not brake... God all mighty...not god all might...etc and so on...
You seemed to really start hitting more and more errors about the halfway mark of the story....again I was enjoying it until then but....I give you a three for your potential, not necessarily for the stories.
by
Anonymous12/07/14
nother fucking american man
obsessed with unhealthily big tits.
All tits have the same number of nerve endings. Argal, big tits are much less sensitive and responsive than wee ones. So much better. And big tits spell heart disease for the woman.
Crap story.
definetely strokeworthy. However, you really need that editor to tighten up those tenses. The constant switching from past to present threatened to jarr me from the story several times. Hopefully gets fixed with the next installment.
by
Anonymous12/10/14
EDITOR, EDITOR!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get an EDITOR!
by
Anonymous12/14/14
Unreadable!
Complete waste/waist of time.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
Gave it A very undeserved ace
I will ask my 2 year old if she will proof read for you roflmfao
Oh and ten bear ,, can you direct me to your pictures showing A guying fucking 2 assholes at the same time, would love to see that lmfao
English
Not bad but....
There are some major spelling errors that kept pulling me away from the flow of the story. Clothes, not cloths....break...not brake... God all mighty...not god all might...etc and so on...
You seemed to really start hitting more and more errors about the halfway mark of the story....again I was enjoying it until then but....I give you a three for your potential, not necessarily for the stories.
nother fucking american man
obsessed with unhealthily big tits.
All tits have the same number of nerve endings. Argal, big tits are much less sensitive and responsive than wee ones. So much better. And big tits spell heart disease for the woman.
Crap story.
A good start
It would be easier if the three of them moved in with each other, and they all slept in the same bed together.
It would be kinky if both Ester and Karen became pregnant and the two women considered Eddy there husband.
Thanks for the read
Great read
Very nice start, I can't wait for the next part
Get a spelling and grammar book.
Wow! It was barely readable. Next time have someone in high school proofread your story.
hot story good to stroke too
keep us informed if he does both there asses at the same time keep on trucking tenbears43
Not too bad.....
definetely strokeworthy. However, you really need that editor to tighten up those tenses. The constant switching from past to present threatened to jarr me from the story several times. Hopefully gets fixed with the next installment.
EDITOR, EDITOR!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get an EDITOR!
Unreadable!
Complete waste/waist of time.
Gave it A very undeserved ace
I will ask my 2 year old if she will proof read for you roflmfao
Oh and ten bear ,, can you direct me to your pictures showing A guying fucking 2 assholes at the same time, would love to see that lmfao
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