Despite issues of grammar and detail, this story is off to a very interesting start. You have left us, the readers of this story, hanging on your elipses and begging for at least one more Part to this story. But please don't end Part 02 the same way, or we will think that you are merely trying to be cute.
If you are going to make a judgement on someone else's writings at least learn to spell.
by
Anonymous12/12/14
1
Is this a middle school ESL project?
by
Anonymous01/05/15
Great Title...Crappy intro chapter!
You need to skip out on all that extra stuff and focus on writing about the main characters! All that height and weight and family ancestory dont mean shit!
Also Make the chapter longer and include some sex if you want to hook your readers! After all this is "literotica"
English
Get to it
WAYYY too much detail. Also need an editor,
Native Floridian native? I stopped right there.
What a Hook to Hang a Reader Upon
Despite issues of grammar and detail, this story is off to a very interesting start. You have left us, the readers of this story, hanging on your elipses and begging for at least one more Part to this story. But please don't end Part 02 the same way, or we will think that you are merely trying to be cute.
Total Rubbish
Crap lean to write before coming her
Where's the story?
Good intro I suppose but no story. Really?
"Anonymous - "total rubish""
If you are going to make a judgement on someone else's writings at least learn to spell.
1
Is this a middle school ESL project?
Great Title...Crappy intro chapter!
You need to skip out on all that extra stuff and focus on writing about the main characters! All that height and weight and family ancestory dont mean shit!
Also Make the chapter longer and include some sex if you want to hook your readers! After all this is "literotica"
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