- All
Comments (3) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Incredible!
So hot and extraordinarily well written. I'm hoping to see other stories similar to this in the future.
Wow!
If you hadn't said this was your first story I would never have guessed, very well done!
Very Good!
This was quite well-written and very originally handled. It's so nice to see new approaches to hypnosis, and the water droplet was really clever. I think the biggest weakness is pacing. You should give more details and drag out the erotic bits a bit longer! The story focuses a ton on what Carl is feeling, which is great, but maybe not quite enough on what he's hearing, seeing and experiencing.
I mean, obviously, take what I say with a grain of salt. I think there are worse things to hear than, "I'd have enjoyed this story even more had there been more of it." :)
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Hostile Takeover or
More submissions by channel_pressure.