A Valentine's Day Surprise

Bad. Just Bad.

Writing and story telling are not your strong suits. Find another hobby.

Seriously?

You can't be serious. This could of been a good or even great story, until I got to the 11" dick...Come back to reality.

Stopped reading at this point...as I was sure the 44FF tits would be next.

Either write something that is believable, or please don't write at all.

Is this story garbage? That it is, MR0ROMANTIC. That it is.

Sloppy writing, but at least you had ridiculously bad dialog to distract your readers attention. I've watched PORN with better dialog. Man, total garbage.

Not good

First off, idont understand why commentors have to be so nasty. This story is bad but we dont have to asses about it.

The story line is thin , lacking any info and is way too cliche.

Also, how could a beautiful lady walk in if he couldnt see her face ??

Stopped reading

At the 11" cock, seemed it was going to be a good story till then, also would hav been better her ot knowing he was her date and them slowly comming around to making love because they both needed someone.
So you fucked up the whole story from the get go.

Missed a few letters, keys stick.

When I thought

This story was bad you surprised me as I read on for it got even worse. -* that is minus 1 star.

Poor spelling & grammar

I think the author can't even spell his name correctly - I think it's MORONMANTIC.

What was that?

I don't usually make negative comments but that was bad. It started off ok and then when you got to the room it fell apart.

I'm guessing ...

this is your first attempt at writing fiction, so you need to learn how to write. One way is to read other stories and think about the differences between your writing and theirs.

One difference you'll find is to build up tension. Once they were back at the hotel it was wham, bam sex, whereas it should have been a seduction. I got the impression you were trying to cram every type of sex act you could think of.

Read and practise. Best of luck.

Horrific

That story was really really terrible. I find that stories that refer to the woman as "cunt" and where the guy always has a 10"+ sized dick are not only written by amateurs but by people who obviously have little to no sexual experience outside of fiction.

And this "author" also volunteers to be an editor for others?

Is this a joke? One line dialogs are dry, and the all caps OH MY GOD I AM CUMMING is comical.

-5

That's MINUS 5. Complete and utter rubbish.

Trash

Complete bull crap

what

thats such bs wish i had not wasted my time reading it