...great potential, but it needs an editor real bad. The grammar is some of the worst I have read on Lit and I joined in 2004. Ir totally detracted from the story line.
by
Anonymous12/12/14
4th grader wrote this
Way too hard to read author seemed drunk in my opinion
by
Anonymous12/12/14
Needs work.. A LOT OF WORK!
Not even seeing the existing comments.. and into the first few sentences. wasn't looking into more.
by
Anonymous12/12/14
re: dear annony a 4th grade wrote this?? Really REALLY? If it was a 4th grade
Really. That person commented on the story, you commented on them an nothing about the story, and THEY'RE the dumbass? On what fucking planet?
by
Anonymous12/14/14
Definitely needs an editor! At the party, she arrives in jeans and a low cut top, and a paragraph later she's in shorts and flip flops. Pick one and stick to it. :)
English
Good Plot ...
...great potential, but it needs an editor real bad. The grammar is some of the worst I have read on Lit and I joined in 2004. Ir totally detracted from the story line.
4th grader wrote this
Way too hard to read author seemed drunk in my opinion
Needs work.. A LOT OF WORK!
Not even seeing the existing comments.. and into the first few sentences. wasn't looking into more.
re: dear annony a 4th grade wrote this?? Really REALLY? If it was a 4th grade
Really. That person commented on the story, you commented on them an nothing about the story, and THEY'RE the dumbass? On what fucking planet?
Definitely needs an editor! At the party, she arrives in jeans and a low cut top, and a paragraph later she's in shorts and flip flops. Pick one and stick to it. :)
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