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English
Interesting start, but…
could use a good editor to polish English mechanics, particularly sentence structure, punctuation, and word order. Your vocabulary is excellent, but your sentence construction leads me to think that your first language is not English.
Looking forward to more.
Ditto on the editor comment
You need to know the difference between words like "knew" and "new" etc.
Cheers
Thanks for the feedback, I keep missing the small the small things like that. When I write I just type until the stories done and then reread it myself, the next few chapters are already submitted but I'll try to either find an editor or proofread a couple more times myself. I already found a lot of errors in the new chapters I've written. I should also warn you guys that while this story may seem nice now it's going to get a lot darker later on. Cheers.
umm.....right
"modest E cup breasts"
Seriously, do you know anything about women?
E cup is also known as DD cup or about two cup sizes larger than average.
If the average has changed that much, then this chapter which is intended to set the story up should explain some of that.
Sorry about the confusion.
E cup is actually the size above a DD and the word modest is telling you that they are perhaps a little under the average size of E.
E size was in fact a bad decision on my behalf and I have since made changes in my own copy of the story. I may repost this and morph it into chapter 1, but only once I'm happy that I can still integrate the changes with the rest of the storyline.
An on a side note, I do not like accusation's, if you have a query or perhaps a tip then phrase it that way. If you do have an insult then please feel free to NOT POST IT.
Thank you for the "query".
Different Countries
So I just did some research on-line because of your comment and it reminded me that in the U.S. the size DD and E are indeed the same, while over here E is a size up.
The real confusion comes from the fact that you don't understand the word modest in it's context here. I'm not referring to E as a modest breast size out of all sizes, I'm referring to the variation of size in an E cup breast, through the word modest.
However I do apologise for my mistake with changes between countries measurement systems. I should have double checked before posting about that.
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