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3*
Incomplete
????
Ok, James is able to take care of his family better than himself, I get that. He has got HIV as far as I understand. Are we to suppose that James has given it to his wife and then the wife has given it to him? Pure guesswork, isn't it? What now? Are we to understand he is in a depression from where he is not to recover from, or wish to recover from???
I like writers who try to be a bit original, but in this there is too much guesswork. Try to rewrite it so that even dense people like me, get the idea!
QUESTIONS---ANSWERS----CHOICES
start with who to whom---and guess what...TK U MLJ LV NV
Confusing and unclear
Story is not understandable - I'm assuming Michael is #51 and he has (or is suspected of being) HIV-positive. When he was fixing the machine, James was flirting with his wife - which is why others at the party were looking and smirking at Michael. Not sure about the purpose of the little boy - assume he thinks he is HIV-positive, hence his attitude towards his Mom. I think this story has potential, but it needs to be cleaned/cleared up. The text doesn't need to be chronologically in order but the story about #51 and his medical issues, seems to get "dropped" for his wife's affair, the little boy, etc. And did James ask Jackson to cause the mechanical malfunction deliberately to spend time with Michael's wife? Or just convenient timing?
Hmmm...
Interesting. But it needs a little more detail. I've read the comments before and they were interesting speculations. Still I need to know your thoughts before I rate this tale.
P.S. Should have went to Jefferson instead. It's a better hospital.
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