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English
Not sure of the point?
This isn't really erotic... there's just a paragraph in which a girl (who apparently isn't upset about her kidnap or the fate of her people at all) wakes up and, without being told anything, decides to accept her rapist as her 'master'. It feels more like a poor summary than any kind of narrative because it doesn't make any sense. (Also there's no bdsm- it doesn't really matter, but the tag is wrong).
Try again- but make it longer and more interesting!
Someone has read one too many Fabio novels
This seemed like a short summary of a romance novel that you read. One that you didn't proof read. You used the word "coast" so many times within the first two paragraphs that it made me start chanting... Coast!... every time that I saw it. Was funny, but I don't think that's what you were aiming for. You might do better if you come up with an original idea, and then spend some time actually reading what you write before you post it.
Spelling
While you seem to have a good vocabulary your spelling/usage of common words needs improvement.
There Their
Raised Razed etc
Really hot/full of potential.
Keep writing! This is pretty hot. Just begs for more story. Add to it. I kind of like that you didn't spend eons getting to the sex, though it wouldn't hurt to flesh the story out a little. Maybe have her resist a bit more? Have the Vikings use her a LOT more. ;-). Maybe in a more public setting? Looking forward to more from you.
Brainless story
No thought nor effort was put into making this erotica.
really liked it
Loved the plot but wished the sex scene was longer and had more details, liked it keep writing
Great start
I love Vikings - I think this has a lot of potential. Have you thought about what happens next? Or maybe going a little more in depth as to what she was thinking? Or his perspective?
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