Fucking Ryan

You need an editor; have good ideas but need to clean up the grammar.

awesome story im a woman and this story was hot little mistakes with grammar and a few punctuation mistakes otherwise very hot keep it up hope you write more

Please be very kind???

...then write a better story with some imagination and style. This is just another clumsy, one-trick fuck scene. And get an editor... your ignorance of grammar, punctuation and sentence structure would be laughable if it wasn't so sad.

Fuck, give up the cartoons (read that in your bio) and go back to school, then maybe, just maybe you might mature enough to actually write erotica.

Thanks you Guys!

Thanks to all who Favorited and Commented and for the person who commented "go back to school" I am currently attending school soon I hope to pursue my degree at the University of my first choice. (Yes I am 18) Besides I personally do not see cartoons as being limited to an age given that there are adult cartoons. Anyway, I would just like to say thanks to anyone who takes the time for reading my piece I will try to get and editor and work on my writing. :)

Tired of the Nasty Comments

I'm tired of reading nasty comments by anonymous persons who lack the balls to share their identities with us. This guy's 18 for heaven's sake....give him a break....at least he's contributed a story. So...until you grow the balls to write one yourself don't hide behind the screen name anonymous. At least try to give kind and constructive feedback rather than share comments that only discourage!!!!!

well

good to know your name "whiteasianlvr"....Nice, not to meet you. And now I would like to read this story. anonym. Maybe even without NSA and shit.