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The Surprise

byHumpdee84©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous12/27/14

Needs work

No dialogue. Didn't they even moan and groan? The way I groan when I cum would have filled half the page! All in caps! This scene would work better inserted into a longer piece but on its own is just a fuck story without a story. Just sayin'. Hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. We all get it and it makes us better writers.

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