The Slippery Slope

True story? then you're nothing but a slut and DON'T love your college sweetheart or maybe he's just a wimp!

Self centered selfish etc, etc.

Bitch if you cant stay faithful to your husband after such a short time, do him a favor and divorce him. He deserves to be with a woman who cares and is faithful to him so they can raise a family. You ain't it. If you decide you are gonna play it straight and go straight then abort the kid, no man should have to raise someone else's kid without his consent. And if that happens the person who makes it happen is the lowest of the low. I bet he comes home and thinks he is coming home to a loyal wife but instead he comes home to a conniving human being not even worthy of being called a human being. What drives someone like you to repay love and kindness with disrespect and hate? Yes you must hate your husband to do this to him. Be a human being and divorce him so he can find a woman who deserves to be his wife not a selfish evil woman as you are.

DNA test laboratory advertising

DNA test laboratory advertising story. I prefer direct advertising so 1*.

True?

If that's the case then I don't get it, Chris. Are you slow or mentally challenged in some way?
Your wife doesn't give a shit about you. She used the thinnest of pretext to start fucking someone else. I mean, seriously, a sex tape made with an old boyfriend? How was that a threat?

Of course this isn't a real story and I think we all know it. This is just another lame bed wetter fantasy.

Liked the Concept but Thought the Execution was too Abrupt .

I love a smoldering blackmail for sex and disdaining filthy lucre tale. BUT the story would have gained drama if the brothet in law had his nefariousness revealed in stages. The narrator caved in too quickly over too little. So what about the old sex video? She was in an exclusive relationship and filming a tryst in that context in today's day and age is commonplace. Now a gangbang covertly filmed would have been far more damming.

The wife went from reluctant to wanton like a Porsche goes from zero to sixty. Overall I reccomend the author work on being more patient with both character development and process of reluctant seduction. Good luck.

You are right about one thing...

You are going to get a flogging for this story. For a first up effort it was okay, I'm always a little wary of "true" stories. The set up was good but the sex scenes let it down. I'm rounding up two and a half stars to three because it's your first post.

Oh, btw

I didn't make a mistake. You might want us to think this story was written by a woman, but, Chris (or whatever), there's no way. A woman would have been smarter.

Ok so your just another slut...

Governed entirely by her cunt. Wow... What a concept. And when Jeff and your sister find out? Then what... If ever a bitch deserved to be burned it would be the slut wife in this story.

suicide works, dead wives tell no lies

the woman so described here is a self centered, unfaithful, common slut. She would be best in life as a whore in a brothel. Besides the fact she is just plain dumb.

Another Trash Author...

Oh hum...typical garbage for LW...

another person

who writes just to bother people who are stupid enough to pay attention to them, this writer is a bigger loser then them.

This slope isn't slippery...

It's a precipice and you willingly jumped over the edge. The story is ok, not a lot of character development and it's pretty obvious that Keith, and you, have none. I hope his dick was worth it. You'll have the memories and you've betrayed your husband so you killed the marriage. Good job for someone so young and has to live with the consequences for the rest of your life.

Are you really this stupid.

This cant be real. Im sorry but I cant believe anyone that claims they love their husband could be so stupid to not trust him with the truth. If you are this dumb just tell him so he can dump your ass and move on with his life and find someone proper and decent to marry. What a stupid slut. Oh and I gave you a # 1 for writing a story which is border line black mail , rape and unbelievable.

Couldn't Finish

How in the world can she be blackmailed with something that happened before she met her husband?

Of course once she submitted we see she is a size whore.

Fantasy or fiction?

It seems there are only two possibilities here.

One, this is an account of a fantasy. Maybe the author is the newlywed wife in this story, and fantasizes about her brother in law. Or maybe the author is really a 72-year-old man who fantasizes about being a 25-year-old newlywed. Whatever the case may be, this story works well as a harmless fantasy. It's fairly well-written for such a brief glimpse into the life of this 25-year-old. It could have been much better if the narrator revealed a little more about her feelings and motivations for continuing this affair.

Two, this is a real story, as the author asserts at the beginning. If this is the case, then I can't help but wonder about the author's motivation for sharing that story here. Is it to brag about what she's getting away with? To poll the readers about what we think about her behavior? (I already know the answer to that without reading any of the comments!) Or maybe she feels guilty, and this is a confession she hopes will be discovered by someone she knows.

We'll never know.

Being a natural-born skeptic, I'm leaning toward option #1. I find it highly unlikely that a young newlywed would behave this way -- unless she's a sociopath, which is possible. I also don't believe the premise of the blackmail over the video. Why would the husband care if his wife had sex with her old boyfriend, years before they met, and took a video of it? And why would this newlywed wife have unprotected sex with her brother-in-law, without any birth control? Again, unless she's a sociopath.

I suppose there is a third option: this story was posted solely to generate a ton of nasty comments. In which case, I'm guessing it will be a huge success!

What a sick story , cheating and carrying someone else baby

Give up your husband and come clean , this author wrote a sick story , unbelievable , ,

fantastic

whats a matter with those sick moaners,I loved the story I cant wait for her to write again

Hot situation

but as you know morally very wrong. That said, the writing was OK, but your motivations for starting the affair in the first place do not seem to be fully revealed. The threat of an old movie of an old lover wouldnt seem to be enough to get you to make cheat immediately taht day with BIL. Your husband knew you werent a virgin, so what is the big deal?

Newly married, just off honeymoon, in marital bliss, what else is going on in your life to cause you to fall in bed so easily wtih another and betray your husband? What is your family like, what are the real motivations, were you molested as a child? Parents marriage unusual in some way? A much better story would be one which reveals your innermost thoughts and feelings about life, marriage, the sanctity of fidelity within marriage, etc.

Welcome to the club

I enjoyed the story, with a two exceptions.
1) I hate the phrase "seemed to" It is usually false modesty to pay one's self a complement by in effect quoting others.
2) The phrase "I decided to..." especially when minimal thought went into the decision. In this case she 'decided to' wear only a tee shirt. How much thought went into that? It was hot, she was alone, so she just wore a tee shirt..
As portrayed she acted like a woman willing to have a quick fuck, if the opportunity presented itself. I would have enjoyed it more if she had shown some more modesty, such as having brother in law wait outside the door while she changed to something more suitable.
However, as written, your character was pretty loose, so I guess it was all consistent, but her willingness to fuck her brother in law resulted in less drama than if she had been more reluctant.

Chilley
SIte won't let me log in
. .

Not a bad story

But a good editor might help. And drop the "true story" bit. It makes a mediocre story worse because no one believes you for even a second.

It is a hot story, but I hope the child looks like her lover and not her husband. That will be the beginning of the end and will prove once again why this was a bad idea.

Yeah you're pretty much a piece of shit but you definitely already knew that didn't you!?!?

Another cheating slut/cuck husband story

No passion; no tension; no consequences; NO ENDING. Another talentless writer who throws a big cock and slut wife together for a sex scene. That's all this is - a sex scene. It's not a story. These two are nothing better than rutting animals. I've read many writers that have used this scenario and produced truly amazing stories. The sex in them was often just a side story.This isn't one of them. This wasn't a slippery slope, but more like plunging into bottomless chasm.

OK story

Not much buildup and her so quickly getting into the sex makes it somewhat unrealistic. If true she has very low morals as does brother in law.

I like cuckold stories...

And, I liked this one even a little more because of the outcome... :)
More, please...

WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

We've both posted stories on the same day, your 1st and, I think, my 10th. We have something else in common; we both got comments confirming we either can't write or we can write. On Lit.'s LW, quality is in the eye of the beholder. One fact is indisputable, it only cost us our time to post and cost them their time to read. The reward? Ours is the pleasure of writing and having somebody read and give us feedback. (Yes, every comment of more than two lines teaches us something.) Their reward is the pleasure of reading and bitching, all for free. It's a win--win game.

I read the comments before voting so I may have been biased, but I gave you a four. Why--I thought the beginning dragged things out a bit. The same could probably be said of my work, so what do I know? Also the wife and brother-in-law didn't seem to have any redeeming qualities, and far too many people seem to be unable to separate the message from the story. Ex. I hate the horror stories but I still give Steven King credit for writing a very good horror story. A person who has been through the cheating situation will find it hard to do the same with our stories.

I advise you to look very carefully at the negative comments, especially from those who have stories to their credit, you can check by clicking on the name beside the comment, for quite often they know what they are talking about. I have picked up a lot of pointers from such comments. ABOVE ALL, DON'T QUIT AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY THE WRITING!

What a filthy whore

If this crap is real your husband deserves better than coming home to your bastard and some disease he will carry the rest of his life. Stories are one thing. No one gets hurt. If this is real you need to come clean.

Cheating bitch!!!!

Would love to be around when hubby finds out. Hope he goes nuclear.

mentally challenged...

is about the best comment so far. true story ? well in that case mentally challenged is an understatement. why would anybody tell us how dumb she is ? why would anybody think being dumb, irresponsible (pregnant) would be erotic ? the writing and the plot can be ignored in this case. this makes every sane human being just sad.

I want to give you constructive criticism...

But where to start, when you want the reader to believe it is a "true" story?

I think it is OK to use personal experiences that really happened to you in order to flesh out and make your FICTION stories more believable. That said, it is usually better to "fictionalize" any truth, and abandon any intention of relating a "TRUE" story.

If you ARE just 25, you are probably too young to be familiar with magazine porn, like Penthouse Letters, which is what we had back in the days before the internet. A typical story might begin with....
"Dear Penthouse, I never believed it could happen to me, but....."
and/or
"I SWEAR this really happened..."

Readers didn't buy it then, and they don't buy it now. The trite claims of relating true stories has ALWAYS been cliche'. Regardless of the medium, you should ALWAYS avoid cliche's in your writing, UNLESS you intend to do something COMPLETELY unexpected and different with your story, so that a percieved cliche' is turned around and the intended reader response is revealed shock and/or surprise.

I do want to say a positive for your story. I think you realated it well, and the few technical errors weren't glaringly disruptive. I felt like the narrator was telling me a big secret while we drank in a bar, perhaps explaining her renewed slutty behaviors.
That said, imagine a conversation you are having with one of your girlfriends. Do you end the story with the shock value of pregnancy, and then stop talking? The ending of this story is really piss poor, because it is incomplete. We are left with no idea why this REALLY happened, will continue to happen, or what will happen in the future. If we buy into the true story concept with the current time format you introduced, then sure, it is clear that the ending of this story HASN'T happened yet. Will you write more when it does? But really, go back to imagining that you are telling your girlfriend that you are preggers and don't know who the father is. Wouldn't you spend more time expressing your feelings about it? Your concerns? What do you HOPE happens? What are your goals? What changes now? How did the big cock sex affect sex with hubby? Has he remained clueless? How will he react? Even if you don't know, say that, and then relate how you HOPE he reacts?

So even if the rest of the story isn't written yet, you as author can STILL do a better job making this scenario more complete and relatable. You could flesh out your character development by sharing thoughts, fears, and emotions. Simply relating the slutty "facts", just doesn't make for compelling storytelling on the whole.

One more thing that others have mentioned, the thinly veiled blackmail excuse is ALSO bogus, and cliche'd. The story would have been better if after B.I.L. shows her what he found, she had laughed at him for thinking that anybody would care. Then she said if he wanted to fuck her that badly, just say so, and go on. The reason you fucked him wasn't because of blackmail, or even cock size. It was just the revelling in slutty behavior. And YES, slutty behavior DOES HAVE consequences. So stories are always better recieved when those consequences are explored, and when mistakes are made, they are learned from.

Again, what did your narrator THINK was going to happen? But even more interesting to the reader, what does she WANT to happen? And how is she preparing herself when NONE of that happens, but instead, what happens is the WORST case scenario? What steps is she taking now, that soon she can't hide from the mistakes she has made? Does she have any regrets? If not, is she prepared to pay the ultimate price? Can she even concieve of what that may be?

See, so much story left to tell......even if the reality is that none of it has happened yet. Meanwhile, why not use the writing exercise to explore some of those possibilities? Embrace the fiction in your writing. It is what will truly set you free as an author. Good Luck!

And if it IS all true, I sincerely hope your husband doesn't murder you. Again, Good Luck!

loveing it

Wish things like that would happen to me. And I like the fact that she's now pregnant. Cum belongs in side the pussy

The description was generally okay, but your narrator leapt from loyal wife to rampant whore rather too rapidly.

It's not the extra-marital sex, it's the stupidity

You stated "If extra-marital sexual contact is not your thing, then I ask you please move on ..." Welll, that's not the problem. The problem is that it was unnecessary and forced. The problem is that your character is, well, stupid.

Unless I’m really missing something (and, if so, then I’m the one who’s stupid), the video of her and Rick was not only from before they were married, before they started seeing each other.

So fucking what?

This is hardly blackmail material. There is nothing here to indicate Jeff thought she was a virgin when they first met or that it was a factor. She wasn’t cheating on him. If he made a big deal about the video, THEN it would be a problem, but it would be Jeff’s and not hers.

The only response Keith deserved was a “Fuck off” and threatening to tell her sister what a sleezball her husband is.

So, either she’s a moron or she cheated because she wanted to and the video was just an excuse. Her recriminations are a lie. If this is a true story, you’re a shitty person, betraying not only your husband but your sister.

I loved your story.

Hope hubby finds out because if true you nothing but a no good pig. Sorry for being mean but your betrayl is to your husband and your sister and your whole family who will be greatly affected when you get caught and you will. Your already are being extremely risky. That video meant nothing ,your husband might have been pissed that you did that with someone and he had to see it but what your doing now is life changing for everyone . You stand to lose your husband , sister and the rest of your family's respect. For what a different dick , you shoul of never married if you weren't done trying new dicks

Good example of why I feel blackmail stories are inherently stupid

Well, especially ones like this.

Even if she was being blackmailed for cheating on her husband, which it isn’t, giving only compounds the reason she is being blackmailed. Imagine it was of her cheating on Jeff, basically, what Keith was proposing was “To keep silent about you cheating on Jeff, you have to cheat on Jeff.” Huh? All that would do is give more ammo to Keith.

Oh, and what a surprise, he has more than one copy. Amazing, a dishonest blackmailer. What are the odds?

And BTW, the video was created in 2008, and she’s still using the same laptop for work? I guess it could happen. Core 2 Duo chips were released in 2007, but anymore 6 years is a rather long time to be using the same laptop and especially a long time to be unable to know what’s on your own hard drive.

You were right to expect unfavorable comments about this story, but because it's a turkey.

Why? If This is True?

Would you be married? Talk about a complete lack of anything resembling respect to your spouse.Just married.Just a slut.Question? If hubby was doing the sister in law and knocked her up would that be okay?

Chris - you are as dumb...

... as your story is.

A BUCKET FULL OF VOMIT WORTH

UNO ESTRELLA ... enough said

Harry in VA's Witness

1*

Our daily baboon is arrived

I just condemn stupidity...

I just condemn stupidity...Of course you when wrote this knew you were wrong...The video was for a long time ago, he was your sister's husband...If you said NO, he would pull back out. He was the one that had more to loose!!! Now you are going to destroy two marriages, to destroy your sister...Just hope you think the cheating was worth of all this tragedy...

Story site

What most so-called critics cannot understand is that this is a story site. Criticise the writing style or offer helpful suggestions but if you take the high moral ground what in the fuck are you doing on this site anyway? It's a story! Go Chris.

The internal narration could have been more subtle (e.g., "The idea of tasting my sister's cream on my brother-in-law's cock was making me absolutely wild!" Really?). The sexual buildup and the whole blackmail aspect would have been better if it slowly built up. The characters are too one-dimensional. The premise of the story is excellent--it just lacks depth and artistry.

I do like the pregnancy twist at the end. I think the story could use another chapter--but develop the characters more.

Thanks for posting

Great story. I hope you are careful so Jeff doesn't know, as it might really hurt him. Enjoy your baby, and forget where he or she came from - have no regret.

Slut newlywed wife story number 437; 439?

I think this story has already been written. Several times. Same plot, same type characters, same blackmail excuse. So what was supposed to be special about this version? You did a great job copying previous authors. Not so great being original and interesting. As a practice story you get 5 stars for accurate reproduction. For an original work of literature, well, there's nothing original about it. Keep practicing. Your cumulative score will tell you how well you are progressing.

i think Chris is one lucky girl, fucking her husband day and night and getting a big cock that can go for all day on the side. definitely a lucky girl

It's*

A read.

Kinda hard to believe

My comment on this is basically the believability factor. Sure there are cheating wives out there doing their thing behind their husbands back, but your story kinda says just married couple coming back from a whirlwind honeymoon and already the wife is struggling to be faithful. You write a story and put it down as "real" is like saying snake oil works like a charm the moment you apply it. So this tale will be added to the fiction pile. On a good note, I had a good wank though!

Loving slut whore

The title of my comment pretty much says it all although there is no love for her husband just for her sisters husband and she obviously doesn't have any love or respect for her sister. May you and your brother-in-law rot in hell.

" True ???? "

If this is true ? Why won't you accept any real or true comments ? If the truth is found out either now or in the future .This is the reason we have so many murder-sucides .