The Surprise

1*

Another new baboon

moving right along

1

Author, you are STUPID!

Anyone who would post such trash is truly stupid. And also an idiot asshole. Can only rate it 1 star since no zero or negative stars.

Chekov's Gun

Chekov's Gun is a literary device that says if you show the audience a gun in Act I it needs to be used by Act III.

By mentioning the 'Baton' and describing it in the early part of the story you set the audience up for the Baton being used in some fashion in the story.

As is, in the story, by mentioning it and not having it used you are only telling us "he wants his Fiancee' to be safe. An act that is accomplished with the words "Be safe".

By not giving the audience more of the Baton you are robbing them of an expectation.

You Can Come Out of Your Mothers Basement Now

Cuckold.or.not.this was just plain bad. Nothing original or erotic.Written as from the cuckold handbook. Cock cages , stilted dialogue.Sorry Larry just not very good

1*

Why?

Damn, I wish I could give you the score this deserves.

Unfortunately there are no minus scores. You're not rusty at writing, you simply can't write. For such a short piece of crap, it is fraught with mistakes. Of course as far as content is concerned, there is not an ounce of originality or creativity. I gave this one star which is much more than it deserves but like I said in the beginning, there are no negative scores available.

Is this a story?

Is this a story? Or just some scattered phrases connect to pretend it's a story? Is she his girlfriend or wife? The pretended story goes on, he is trying for her to have a lover, and then; "Boom" he even has a cock cage and had used it before? "Boom" she had other lovers before like Jack? "Boom" she wants to bring the new lover home?So 1* because there aren't negative ratings....

i would call

this person larry the fag but he would take that as a compliement.

# 1

Enough said.

re: so move along if you don't like the subject.

A warning that is given AFTER opening a story isn't worth shit. Too late.

You had me at, "Housewife gets dives in."

I knew better than to waste time on this. From other's comments, I was right!

Several readers are unrealistic on here, they dont want the stories of men that are cuckoid, that eats a womans puss after another man cums in it, in the loving wifes section. The readers want the story in the gay section only. All cuckoids want sloppy seconds, theyre all gay! All wifeswappers lick sloppy seconds!

This woman wont leave her cuckoid man, women will fuck anything. I think fucking a cuckoid or a dog would be better than fucking a

This is bullshit in all these stories. That women dont want another man to fuck, that it is always the mans idea. Im tired of all these strapon bullshit, continuously speaking of strapons is about as stupid as talking about blowup dolls. These department stores had better keep an eye on the perverts in the panties section. College is a ripoff, and in todays age, they will never get a job. Im tired of all these Im tired of these stries of rich college boys who come home, and mother always fixes their food and buys it, washes their clothes, and gives them wine. Doesnt the son ever buy anything, does he fix meals.

Short and Sweetish

This has some potential. For me, the skipping to 2 years back then to the present day is a bit clumsy and disturbs the flow of the story. It would have been nice to discuss his fantasies at greater length, especially the use of the chastity device, which seems strangely irrelevant in this story.
I'd ignore the adverse criticism, with practice, you would do well in the BDSM section, I think.