Perverted Shapeshifter Ch. 03

You have a really entertaining story here, there are a couple problems for me personally when I read it:

The dialogue at times is to plain, when I read it it feels like I'm reading a recipe, not something that incites arousal. You should take more time to describe the sex it would really improve your story. Finally, add some decent plot, I read some advice a writer gave to other people once, for interesting plot imagine a bunch of horrible things that could go wrong and then make it 10 times worse. Good luck with your next chapter, I'll make sure to read it.

I like your story, this is the second time I've had to type up my comment because I didn't submit it before.

A few things that I think would improve your story:

The dialogue is often to mechanical, feels like I'm reading a recipe not a proper discussion, when it's suppose to incite arousal and it sounds like this, well it fails.
Make the sex more descriptive, make everything more descriptive.
Finally, add some decent plot a good piece of advice for plot I once read was, imagine a bunch of different things that could go wrong and then magnify them.

Good luck with your next chapter, I'll be sure to read it.

Fuck it did post, oh well.

um.... hello?

Mr. Eros are you going to continue this story?
because it kinda hooked me while i was looking for something involving nudity and a realistic context, and you seem to have nailed it
I really wish this story would continue but since it has been nearly a year i doubt so :(

Wow!

Great series! I started with Laura's story and it was so good I had to see what else you wrote. It wasn't perfect but it was awesome! Great ending to this chapter. Keep 'em cumming!

I love this!

Please continue this story and ignore the negative comments. Everyone writes different. No one writes the same. If you want to then I would appreciate it if you send me a email so we can correspond with each other. Keep up the good work!