Perverted Shapeshifter Ch. 03

You have a really entertaining story here, there are a couple problems for me personally when I read it:

The dialogue at times is to plain, when I read it it feels like I'm reading a recipe, not something that incites arousal. You should take more time to describe the sex it would really improve your story. Finally, add some decent plot, I read some advice a writer gave to other people once, for interesting plot imagine a bunch of horrible things that could go wrong and then make it 10 times worse. Good luck with your next chapter, I'll make sure to read it.

I like your story, this is the second time I've had to type up my comment because I didn't submit it before.

A few things that I think would improve your story:

The dialogue is often to mechanical, feels like I'm reading a recipe not a proper discussion, when it's suppose to incite arousal and it sounds like this, well it fails.
Make the sex more descriptive, make everything more descriptive.
Finally, add some decent plot a good piece of advice for plot I once read was, imagine a bunch of different things that could go wrong and then magnify them.

Good luck with your next chapter, I'll be sure to read it.

Fuck it did post, oh well.