The story has no tension or psychological subtlety. And the characters are total simpletons.
by
Anonymous01/05/15
there's no reason for such a low score
Admittedly, the story is a barebones account. It could so with some fleshing out. But it's a sincere effort by a promising author who's a very generous guy--check out his terrific list of Favorites. So how come Mr. M gets only a score of 2.27? That's absurd. He writes in clear English, there are no gaffes, and his heart's in the right place. 19 year old Martin wants to get his hard young cock up the same cunt he came out of. A totally understandable endeavor. Lots and lots of boys want exactly the same thing. But Marty, with the aid of his mother Rita actually achieves that worthy goal. The kid fucks his mother, multiple times, blowing his young balls right up the warm wet hole where he was once a baby. You did good, Marty, you did real good. And you did very, very good yourself, Mr. M. Thank you.
by
Anonymous01/05/15
no sensuality no lust fucking just like lovers and this is afantasy
awful
by
Anonymous01/05/15
And now the Grandmother and the married Sister ...?
"You can bend me over and fuck me is front of your grandmother if that is your wish."
That sounds interesting!
Also I am sure that she has a 20 years old married daughter as well.
No doubt the mother will obey his command for her to help get the grandmother aand also the married daughter in the son's bed!
by
Anonymous01/05/15
That was just bad
It was just bad. This story went faster than any quickie I been a part of.
Check out how that bacon girl writes. That is how you write a one page story.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
Yes short . . .
It's short and direct but there is a certain style
by
Anonymous01/06/15
Previous anon comment ..............
"So how come Mr. M gets only a score of 2.27? That's absurd. He writes in clear English, there are no gaffes,"
Well Mr. Anon how about these gaffes? - "First she had To get her", & "He lived her up and rammed his cock inside her asshole". Just two of the many gaffes. Maybe you read at a fifth grade level?
** in my opinion.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
crap
What a load of diabolical shit , anon who thinks is has merit is also fucked in the head
When she tells him she sucked his dick during the night, he (seemingly) says "I know" in response, but just a few lines earlier "woke up with a smile on his face but chalked it up as a dream."
by
Anonymous01/06/15
crap
You invent very sexist characters. He takes his mother as his little slut. Do you even know what a slut is? You treat all women in your stories as low as possible and the men all with the inalienable right to fuck any female, anytime, anywhere. You don't even treat your readers as grownups. This is not the first story of yours I've read or I wouldn't write this. You have no idea how to give your characters depth, how to make them become real people to a reader. You never supply any kind of back story. And you have no idea how to draw a story to a close without it feeling chopped off in the middle. You really shouldn't bother anymore.
by
Anonymous01/08/15
Like the idea
I am not very critical on this site, because most of the time I get hard. This story had potential, but you didn't do a very good job. Sorry **.
by
Anonymous09/03/15
Horrible
Learn how to create a story, characters, thoughts, intimate details, this site is for people trying to read/write a distinguished story that makes them feel like they understand each movement, action, dialogue... Please, don't try to pass this off as "writing" this is something I could do one handed while doing calculus. Next time don't be so impatient. It's a major turn-off. Take your time with your story, create a back story, an origin story if you will, for each character. Get in to their heads and let the characters tell you what happens, don't force something to happen like you did in this.
by
Anonymous09/20/16
thats awsome
This is a awsome story I love these stories my 9 1/2 cock is so
Stiff right now
English
Poor
The story has no tension or psychological subtlety. And the characters are total simpletons.
there's no reason for such a low score
Admittedly, the story is a barebones account. It could so with some fleshing out. But it's a sincere effort by a promising author who's a very generous guy--check out his terrific list of Favorites. So how come Mr. M gets only a score of 2.27? That's absurd. He writes in clear English, there are no gaffes, and his heart's in the right place. 19 year old Martin wants to get his hard young cock up the same cunt he came out of. A totally understandable endeavor. Lots and lots of boys want exactly the same thing. But Marty, with the aid of his mother Rita actually achieves that worthy goal. The kid fucks his mother, multiple times, blowing his young balls right up the warm wet hole where he was once a baby. You did good, Marty, you did real good. And you did very, very good yourself, Mr. M. Thank you.
no sensuality no lust fucking just like lovers and this is afantasy
awful
And now the Grandmother and the married Sister ...?
"You can bend me over and fuck me is front of your grandmother if that is your wish."
That sounds interesting!
Also I am sure that she has a 20 years old married daughter as well.
No doubt the mother will obey his command for her to help get the grandmother aand also the married daughter in the son's bed!
That was just bad
It was just bad. This story went faster than any quickie I been a part of.
Check out how that bacon girl writes. That is how you write a one page story.
Yes short . . .
It's short and direct but there is a certain style
Previous anon comment ..............
"So how come Mr. M gets only a score of 2.27? That's absurd. He writes in clear English, there are no gaffes,"
Well Mr. Anon how about these gaffes? - "First she had To get her", & "He lived her up and rammed his cock inside her asshole". Just two of the many gaffes. Maybe you read at a fifth grade level?
** in my opinion.
crap
What a load of diabolical shit , anon who thinks is has merit is also fucked in the head
1
What adolescent twaddle!
It's***
A read.
Complete crap
When she tells him she sucked his dick during the night, he (seemingly) says "I know" in response, but just a few lines earlier "woke up with a smile on his face but chalked it up as a dream."
crap
You invent very sexist characters. He takes his mother as his little slut. Do you even know what a slut is? You treat all women in your stories as low as possible and the men all with the inalienable right to fuck any female, anytime, anywhere. You don't even treat your readers as grownups. This is not the first story of yours I've read or I wouldn't write this. You have no idea how to give your characters depth, how to make them become real people to a reader. You never supply any kind of back story. And you have no idea how to draw a story to a close without it feeling chopped off in the middle. You really shouldn't bother anymore.
Like the idea
I am not very critical on this site, because most of the time I get hard. This story had potential, but you didn't do a very good job. Sorry **.
Horrible
Learn how to create a story, characters, thoughts, intimate details, this site is for people trying to read/write a distinguished story that makes them feel like they understand each movement, action, dialogue... Please, don't try to pass this off as "writing" this is something I could do one handed while doing calculus. Next time don't be so impatient. It's a major turn-off. Take your time with your story, create a back story, an origin story if you will, for each character. Get in to their heads and let the characters tell you what happens, don't force something to happen like you did in this.
thats awsome
This is a awsome story I love these stories my 9 1/2 cock is so
Stiff right now
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