worse then the first.did you even read this before you posted?if they have been together for 3mos then she can not usually give him good gifts.the dumbest though is the dialog,where did you get it the 1970's?
Please do the world a huge favour and destroy your computer IMMEDIATELY!
by
Anonymous01/04/15
You don't learn do you?
This is even worse than your first effort; I can't find the words to express how deeply stupid this story is; please, shove a scrabble set up your ass and shit out a better story than this, because you couldn't do worse. Minus 1,000 stars, go back to the 12th Grade and pull your pants up, your little dick is making you write stories about how big it wishes it was.
by
Anonymous01/04/15
Absolute, juvenile rubbish.
You really do need to ask yourself why you are writing this crap.
If its for others' entertainment then you have failed miserably.
If its for your own enjoyment, well great, keep at it, BUT DON'T POST IT HERE UNTIL YOU HAVE LEARNED HOW TO WRITE. You can't develop a story, have no flair for dialogue whatsoever and your descriptions, especially of the sex, suggest you are a virgin. Stick to writing about subjects in areas where you have experience and expertise. Oh, and read some of the best examples on Literotica to see what you should aspire to.
by
Anonymous01/05/15
this crap
How did this story get through moderation ? I once submitted a story far better and longer than this and was told it was too short ?
Was this a 10 year old's attempt at a porno story?...It is the only possible answer. And yes...STANDARDS need to be applied by moderators. They must have still been drunk on the 1st and just clicked approve.
by
Anonymous01/05/15
Excellent
Love this story, more please!
by
Anonymous04/09/15
Horrible
This has absolutely now juiseness I couldent get off on it
English
worse then the first.did you even read this before you posted?if they have been together for 3mos then she can not usually give him good gifts.the dumbest though is the dialog,where did you get it the 1970's?
OY
Please do the world a huge favour and destroy your computer IMMEDIATELY!
You don't learn do you?
This is even worse than your first effort; I can't find the words to express how deeply stupid this story is; please, shove a scrabble set up your ass and shit out a better story than this, because you couldn't do worse. Minus 1,000 stars, go back to the 12th Grade and pull your pants up, your little dick is making you write stories about how big it wishes it was.
Absolute, juvenile rubbish.
You really do need to ask yourself why you are writing this crap.
If its for others' entertainment then you have failed miserably.
If its for your own enjoyment, well great, keep at it, BUT DON'T POST IT HERE UNTIL YOU HAVE LEARNED HOW TO WRITE. You can't develop a story, have no flair for dialogue whatsoever and your descriptions, especially of the sex, suggest you are a virgin. Stick to writing about subjects in areas where you have experience and expertise. Oh, and read some of the best examples on Literotica to see what you should aspire to.
this crap
How did this story get through moderation ? I once submitted a story far better and longer than this and was told it was too short ?
LMFAO
Was this a 10 year old's attempt at a porno story?...It is the only possible answer. And yes...STANDARDS need to be applied by moderators. They must have still been drunk on the 1st and just clicked approve.
Excellent
Love this story, more please!
Horrible
This has absolutely now juiseness I couldent get off on it
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