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still need an editor or at the very least read back to yourself slowly so you can find the missing or wrong words.you also might want to start at the beginning and not jump around,did she know tris was a cop(first chapter no she didnt) or not since she ordered vics partner to kill vics ex husband.
once again Literotica shows its "preferences"
I think you, my dear are on to something and with an editor or at least a couple close friends to proof, your stories are going to go far. You've got a great story line, and awesome instincts for what you share.
Literotica's group of "approvers" that get stories published are a fickle and catty bunch. Proven time and time again. I've actually edited stories with 5 times the depth, emotion and passion that have been refused, and its based on subject matter... as long as you stay in the Lesbian genre, keep it "soft dainty" and such, you'll be fine.
If you want to REALLY learn to write. Get off your computer/iPad and head to the nearest Barnes-n-Noble and look up Violet Blue or any of the editors of the series "Best Lesbian Erotica" or "Best Bisexual Women's Erotica"... I personally have learned an incredible amount from the "Best Gay Male Erotica" series. Word play, development, non-cliche'd phrases etc. Often what causes problems on Lit is that Cliche's ring true, instead of true dialog and honest development.
Best of luck... you're on your way, keep writing!
open2optionsDFW
~R.
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