a brief sketch, in outline form.
She didn't pay attention in class, there was a test later, and she failed.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
poor ending
I was with you there until the ending. Too much like a 50s hygeine film. This can happen to you! Thanks for the scare tactics. They worked decades ago.
This site is about erotic fantasy. To me that means stories that don't let the real world intrude. In the fantasy world of this site, everyone is always ready and available for sex, and all encounters ultimately end with amazing orgasms. Kids, jobs, paying bills, grocery shopping - none of that real world stuff gets in the way. There are no consequences - unwanted pregnancy, disease, broken marriages, damaged reputations - and of course there's no need for birth control. That's all part of the fun and fantasy (I believe that Nancy Friday, while analyzing sexual fantasies herself, acknowledged that the ultimate goal of erotic fantasy was sexual excitement).
I read the story with mild interest. It was not as erotic as others I've read, and the arguing between the couple over the idea of her having another man just seemed to be getting in the way of the action. I stuck with it as I wanted to see where it was going. I wondered if the woman would be proven right, that her husband really was turned on by the idea and that it would either end in a threesome or with them having amazing sex (typical plot paths for the "wife wants to try another man" storyline). I didn't find the ending to be at all erotic or exciting. Instead it was just sad and depressing. Maybe I'm old fashioned; I want my erotica to have a happy ending!
I spent several minutes reading many of the other comments and mulling over how I felt about the story, and why. I even picked another of your stories ("Immaculate Conception") and read it, just to see how something else you had written compared to this story. I noticed that both stories had negative consequences for the person (a woman, in both cases) who cheated. Are all of your stories morality tales that focus on cheating women, and the consequences they must deal with? If so, we obviously have different ideas of what constitutes erotica.
This is actually the first time I've commented on any story on this site, although I've been here many times and read many stories. I think the volume of comments and the extreme reactions led me to want to throw in my own two cents.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
Tired, boring, cliche, God's revenge. Yawn
Why not have Satan himself jump up and brand her with an everlasting firey "A" on her chest? That's just as realistic as her not treating syphilis and dying with dementia in a year.
How can they be well matched but can't talk about sex? If one party says their sex life needs spicing up, it does. If the other party doesn't think so it just means he's satisfied and she's not. The "satisfied" partner needs to do something to keep the other in the fold if he loves her instead of just an image of her. It can be done or it's at least worth trying. Just shutting her down without coming up with alternatives is a recipe for disaster. The unsatisfied partner will cheat or leave. The unsatisfied partner, after trying to improve things in the marriage, should ask for joint counseling. If that fails or is refused, of course she should seek a divorce instead of cheating.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
Easy to write into that direction
I agree that storyline is much better to show the betrayed husbands find better woman instead of the cheating ex wives, but the authors must build more energy to write the stories into that direction. With a quick twist to close a story is easy.
by
Anonymous01/06/15
wow
i get the feeling the writer of this has been cheated on in the past, to have her die is kinda fucked up man, if you dont like cheating that is fair enough but it is supposed to be an erotic story. what the fuck?
Will not criticize you for venting because, at least, you wrote a story to do it. Good on you. You were in such a hurry to get to revenge you ignored medical facts about the progress of that disease. Sounded more like aids in its timing of symptoms but like syphilis in the actual body symptoms. Overall a weak effort for readers but hoped it helped your emotional state
Someone said this might reflect something personal, but this wasn't your first tale. I think Iron Dragon said it was more outline than story. I think he's right. We all get an idea, get excited, and pour it out without thinking. D.Q. Steele's "When We Were Married" was the closest to what I thought was a personal experience, especially the beginning. If you haven't, you should read that. In fact you should read all of DQS's stuff before you write another word. Just my opinion mind you.
she got what she deserved, too bad it didn't last longer. now half of the rest of his life he wont trust a woman, while although it's a good rule of thumb, if everyone did we wouldn't have the population we do now.
by
Anonymous01/26/15
I Don't Get It
Why all the negative comment about this story? Yes it would be nice to get the storyline more fleshed out with details, but at the end of the day she got what she deserved. Personally I liked it and would not have blamed the author if they went even heavier on the revenge. Still you can't please all the people all the time.
by
Anonymous02/04/15
Not much to add here.....
....because, again, you didn't get your facts straight. The rushed conclusion with bad, nay, false medical information was a story-killer for me, but more damning, was that you wrote a character that was so obsessed with an idea that no amount of clarity would break through her clouds of delusion.
It is also very likely that she'd been fucking around for some time, possibly a very long time and was unconsciously trying to "get him on board".
His response was not very realistic. Too much in keeping with the "gentler" tradition in these halls and not the world we walk through every day.
YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE YOU WRITE A STORY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO DELVE INTO ANYTHING YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ABOUT.
by
Anonymous02/06/15
Assumptions
I've read Assumptions and now Hubby Said No. A bit simplistic. I'll give one more a try.
by
Anonymous02/25/15
Wank
I think this author is a pathetic moralistic nasty little wanker
English
Cliff's Notes version
a brief sketch, in outline form.
She didn't pay attention in class, there was a test later, and she failed.
poor ending
I was with you there until the ending. Too much like a 50s hygeine film. This can happen to you! Thanks for the scare tactics. They worked decades ago.
Too abbreviated
thanks for the offering.
Why I didn't like the story
This site is about erotic fantasy. To me that means stories that don't let the real world intrude. In the fantasy world of this site, everyone is always ready and available for sex, and all encounters ultimately end with amazing orgasms. Kids, jobs, paying bills, grocery shopping - none of that real world stuff gets in the way. There are no consequences - unwanted pregnancy, disease, broken marriages, damaged reputations - and of course there's no need for birth control. That's all part of the fun and fantasy (I believe that Nancy Friday, while analyzing sexual fantasies herself, acknowledged that the ultimate goal of erotic fantasy was sexual excitement).
I read the story with mild interest. It was not as erotic as others I've read, and the arguing between the couple over the idea of her having another man just seemed to be getting in the way of the action. I stuck with it as I wanted to see where it was going. I wondered if the woman would be proven right, that her husband really was turned on by the idea and that it would either end in a threesome or with them having amazing sex (typical plot paths for the "wife wants to try another man" storyline). I didn't find the ending to be at all erotic or exciting. Instead it was just sad and depressing. Maybe I'm old fashioned; I want my erotica to have a happy ending!
I spent several minutes reading many of the other comments and mulling over how I felt about the story, and why. I even picked another of your stories ("Immaculate Conception") and read it, just to see how something else you had written compared to this story. I noticed that both stories had negative consequences for the person (a woman, in both cases) who cheated. Are all of your stories morality tales that focus on cheating women, and the consequences they must deal with? If so, we obviously have different ideas of what constitutes erotica.
This is actually the first time I've commented on any story on this site, although I've been here many times and read many stories. I think the volume of comments and the extreme reactions led me to want to throw in my own two cents.
Tired, boring, cliche, God's revenge. Yawn
Why not have Satan himself jump up and brand her with an everlasting firey "A" on her chest? That's just as realistic as her not treating syphilis and dying with dementia in a year.
How can they be well matched but can't talk about sex? If one party says their sex life needs spicing up, it does. If the other party doesn't think so it just means he's satisfied and she's not. The "satisfied" partner needs to do something to keep the other in the fold if he loves her instead of just an image of her. It can be done or it's at least worth trying. Just shutting her down without coming up with alternatives is a recipe for disaster. The unsatisfied partner will cheat or leave. The unsatisfied partner, after trying to improve things in the marriage, should ask for joint counseling. If that fails or is refused, of course she should seek a divorce instead of cheating.
Easy to write into that direction
I agree that storyline is much better to show the betrayed husbands find better woman instead of the cheating ex wives, but the authors must build more energy to write the stories into that direction. With a quick twist to close a story is easy.
wow
i get the feeling the writer of this has been cheated on in the past, to have her die is kinda fucked up man, if you dont like cheating that is fair enough but it is supposed to be an erotic story. what the fuck?
Now that is getting revenge in a hurry
Will not criticize you for venting because, at least, you wrote a story to do it. Good on you. You were in such a hurry to get to revenge you ignored medical facts about the progress of that disease. Sounded more like aids in its timing of symptoms but like syphilis in the actual body symptoms. Overall a weak effort for readers but hoped it helped your emotional state
Curious...
Someone said this might reflect something personal, but this wasn't your first tale. I think Iron Dragon said it was more outline than story. I think he's right. We all get an idea, get excited, and pour it out without thinking. D.Q. Steele's "When We Were Married" was the closest to what I thought was a personal experience, especially the beginning. If you haven't, you should read that. In fact you should read all of DQS's stuff before you write another word. Just my opinion mind you.
can you love a sad tale?
she got what she deserved, too bad it didn't last longer. now half of the rest of his life he wont trust a woman, while although it's a good rule of thumb, if everyone did we wouldn't have the population we do now.
I Don't Get It
Why all the negative comment about this story? Yes it would be nice to get the storyline more fleshed out with details, but at the end of the day she got what she deserved. Personally I liked it and would not have blamed the author if they went even heavier on the revenge. Still you can't please all the people all the time.
Not much to add here.....
....because, again, you didn't get your facts straight. The rushed conclusion with bad, nay, false medical information was a story-killer for me, but more damning, was that you wrote a character that was so obsessed with an idea that no amount of clarity would break through her clouds of delusion.
It is also very likely that she'd been fucking around for some time, possibly a very long time and was unconsciously trying to "get him on board".
His response was not very realistic. Too much in keeping with the "gentler" tradition in these halls and not the world we walk through every day.
YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE YOU WRITE A STORY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO DELVE INTO ANYTHING YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ABOUT.
Assumptions
I've read Assumptions and now Hubby Said No. A bit simplistic. I'll give one more a try.
Wank
I think this author is a pathetic moralistic nasty little wanker
2 stars
nuff said
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Hubby Said No or
More submissions by 62_goo.