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English
Nice
Just Nice
Okay
This story has potential. You should carry it forward with more chapters.
THIS HAS GOOD STORY CONTENT. MAY I SUGGEST, PLEASE ASK SOMEONE TO PROOFREAD YOUR STORIES PRIOR TO SUBMISSION.
YOU HAVE MISSED A FEW WORDS IN SENTENCE COMPOSITION BECAUSE THE MIND SEES EVERYTHING AS YOU THINK IT, BUT NOT ALWAYS PUT DOWN ON PAPER. A PROOFREADER WILL CATCH THESE OMISSIONS.
I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE OF YOUR STORIES. GOOD LUCK AND THANKS
Fun Story
That sounded like fun; even if it is just a fantasy! Thanks for sharing.
Excellent story
It would have been really cool if her son had caught them instead of her daughter. Imagine the humiliation
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