Some parts came off weird to me but not a bad chapter.
by
Anonymous01/10/15
Only a note to help
The morning after pill starts your period and a very heavy one at that which will have you feeling like crap for days. The point is to force the shedding of your uteral lining so that an embryo can't attach itself. Her period would not be in a few days, it would already be happening and probably still happening. Unless she did not take it and we have some new parents.
@Tallygirl1: If there's one thing I try to stay away from, it's "the norm"!
@fawnsage and bourbonpixie: The next chapter will probably go up in a week or so. Glad you're looking forward to it.
@Anonymous (*****): : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
@Khamalani: I admit that the meeting on the street was pretty self-indulgent of me. But I thought it was hot, so I refuse to repent! I'm pleased that the story ended up overcoming your skepticism, though.
@Anonymous (Only a note to help): Thanks for the info. My online research indicated pretty minimal side-effects, usually limited to 1 - 2 days ... but I didn't actually interact with anyone who'd used Plan B, and I suppose it makes sense that a lot of the online info comes straight from the manufacturer and could be sugar-coated. If people's real-life experiences are more severe or prolonged, I guess I should rethink how that part of the story works. I'll see if I can get some more direct anecdotal information from people who've taken the stuff. I appreciate you taking the time to promote better accuracy.
I thought it was over at the bottom of the first page. Then it got better! Can't wait for the next one!
by
Anonymous01/10/15
Re: Only a note...
Not for everyone. I did not have the experience you described after taking Plan B and I wasn't pregnant. Like any drug, it will affect every individual differently
no need for another chapter for me.
All the references to color, ethnicity, race, and gender, just reinforce my own feeling that no matter how you frame it, this is about two very disgusting racists.
Pleasant surprise! I eagerly await the next update! :) I know theeeey don't want to use names, but can we at least be let in on the secret pretty please, lol!😁😁😁 The anonymity is hot tho, I must say.
I never like using racial slurs when having sex, but if the two parties involved are cool with it then hey...go for it! I do see where rightbank is coming from, to some it can be a bit racist.
I just know for me the reader it did not bother me as much, because he did not use the N-word! That would have been too much for me!
I can not wait for part 2. I give you 5 stars!
@fingal: I'm hard at work on the next couple of chapters. My hope is that they get better and better too!
@Anonymous (Re: Only a note...): Thanks for chiming in with your experience. I may end up splitting the difference and having her at least mention a couple of days of discomfort.
@rightbank: I hope you'll believe me when I say I'm horrified at readers potentially seeing these two characters as racists. Some of the dialogue, especially the word "bitch," did make me anticipate readers accusing me of being a stereotyper or racist, but it never occurred to me that the characters themselves would be viewed as bigoted. If you're still around and reading this, I'd very much appreciate it if you could point out a specific line or two that made you think either of them was prejudiced.
@TooMuchEnnui: I hate spoilers, so I won't say when or whether their names will show up. But I'll try to keep it hot enough that you'll want to be patient ...
@KittyOh48: Thanks for the stars! The N-word is definitely NOT going to make an appearance in this story. (Oops, so much for telling TooMuchEnnui that I hate spoilers.) I had some ambivalence about using "bitch," but more because it's sexist than because it's racist. From my perspective, the subculture that uses it as a synonym for girlfriend/lover is generally disapproved of by both black people and white people. But as I said to rightbank, if there are any specific lines that you thought indicated notions of racial superiority or approval for segregation, please let me know. It's important to me that readers see these characters as respectful of other people, even though their role-playing has a rough edge to it.
Great detail on the sex and thank you for making her seem realistic (that she wanted to shower and get clean) and that shower sex was a great plus--so steamy! Thanks for including her thoughts that she "would melt" and her resolve would disappear if he asked her name or wanted to have more sex. She doesn't seem like an animal and it would be great to see her soften some more and them know each other's first names at least. This has tons of potential to go so many directions and I look forward to the next ch. :)
This was incredible. I have to say your descriptive writing should be taught in a class. I could see everything as you described it. I love your spin on the word 'bitch'. And I think I'm in love with guy with no name. I only have one favorite author though there are some amazing writers on Lit. You will be my second. Thanks Freegirl2012
@EroticLitKitty: Chapter two has been submitted. I hope it lives up to your expectations!
@Comentarista82: I'm glad you like her character. I'm enjoying writing her a lot. As for names ... all in due time, all in due time.
@freegirl2012: I don't know what to say either! Wow, those were some of the nicest compliments I've gotten to date. Hopefully guy with no name won't break your heart. : )
Sorry! I knew I was treading on thin ice. I just couldn't help myself!
Glad you liked it otherwise ...
by
Anonymous04/09/15
pretty good
It was a very shaky start but once you started to write the characters true voices rather than contrived stereotypes you made it pretty damn sexy! Well done
Thanks! I knew it was a risk having them start off playing those roles, because some readers wouldn't realize it was the characters deliberately behaving that way, not the author thinking those were realistic depictions. I hope you read and enjoy the other chapters too!
English
WOW!!
This is so good and so not the norm for the beginning of a story. I absolutely love it. The writing is colorful and fresh.
Not expecting this
But I love it. Got me looking for another chapter.
*****
Five.
pleasantly surprised
This is really good! I was skeptical at first them meeting on the street, but I really like it.
Thank you
That was hot and well written. Looking king forward to seeing where it goes.
Some parts came off weird to me but not a bad chapter.
Only a note to help
The morning after pill starts your period and a very heavy one at that which will have you feeling like crap for days. The point is to force the shedding of your uteral lining so that an embryo can't attach itself. Her period would not be in a few days, it would already be happening and probably still happening. Unless she did not take it and we have some new parents.
Thanks, everybody!
@Tallygirl1: If there's one thing I try to stay away from, it's "the norm"!
@fawnsage and bourbonpixie: The next chapter will probably go up in a week or so. Glad you're looking forward to it.
@Anonymous (*****): : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
@Khamalani: I admit that the meeting on the street was pretty self-indulgent of me. But I thought it was hot, so I refuse to repent! I'm pleased that the story ended up overcoming your skepticism, though.
@Anonymous (Only a note to help): Thanks for the info. My online research indicated pretty minimal side-effects, usually limited to 1 - 2 days ... but I didn't actually interact with anyone who'd used Plan B, and I suppose it makes sense that a lot of the online info comes straight from the manufacturer and could be sugar-coated. If people's real-life experiences are more severe or prolonged, I guess I should rethink how that part of the story works. I'll see if I can get some more direct anecdotal information from people who've taken the stuff. I appreciate you taking the time to promote better accuracy.
Woah!
I thought it was over at the bottom of the first page. Then it got better! Can't wait for the next one!
Re: Only a note...
Not for everyone. I did not have the experience you described after taking Plan B and I wasn't pregnant. Like any drug, it will affect every individual differently
I'll Pass
no need for another chapter for me.
All the references to color, ethnicity, race, and gender, just reinforce my own feeling that no matter how you frame it, this is about two very disgusting racists.
hmmmm
Pleasant surprise! I eagerly await the next update! :) I know theeeey don't want to use names, but can we at least be let in on the secret pretty please, lol!😁😁😁 The anonymity is hot tho, I must say.
This story is HOT!
I never like using racial slurs when having sex, but if the two parties involved are cool with it then hey...go for it! I do see where rightbank is coming from, to some it can be a bit racist.
I just know for me the reader it did not bother me as much, because he did not use the N-word! That would have been too much for me!
I can not wait for part 2. I give you 5 stars!
@fingal: I'm hard at work on the next couple of chapters. My hope is that they get better and better too!
@Anonymous (Re: Only a note...): Thanks for chiming in with your experience. I may end up splitting the difference and having her at least mention a couple of days of discomfort.
@rightbank: I hope you'll believe me when I say I'm horrified at readers potentially seeing these two characters as racists. Some of the dialogue, especially the word "bitch," did make me anticipate readers accusing me of being a stereotyper or racist, but it never occurred to me that the characters themselves would be viewed as bigoted. If you're still around and reading this, I'd very much appreciate it if you could point out a specific line or two that made you think either of them was prejudiced.
@TooMuchEnnui: I hate spoilers, so I won't say when or whether their names will show up. But I'll try to keep it hot enough that you'll want to be patient ...
@KittyOh48: Thanks for the stars! The N-word is definitely NOT going to make an appearance in this story. (Oops, so much for telling TooMuchEnnui that I hate spoilers.) I had some ambivalence about using "bitch," but more because it's sexist than because it's racist. From my perspective, the subculture that uses it as a synonym for girlfriend/lover is generally disapproved of by both black people and white people. But as I said to rightbank, if there are any specific lines that you thought indicated notions of racial superiority or approval for segregation, please let me know. It's important to me that readers see these characters as respectful of other people, even though their role-playing has a rough edge to it.
Oh my!
THAT was something else! Can't wait to read what comes next (fans face and neck). Yowzah!!
Hot!
Great detail on the sex and thank you for making her seem realistic (that she wanted to shower and get clean) and that shower sex was a great plus--so steamy! Thanks for including her thoughts that she "would melt" and her resolve would disappear if he asked her name or wanted to have more sex. She doesn't seem like an animal and it would be great to see her soften some more and them know each other's first names at least. This has tons of potential to go so many directions and I look forward to the next ch. :)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
This was incredible. I have to say your descriptive writing should be taught in a class. I could see everything as you described it. I love your spin on the word 'bitch'. And I think I'm in love with guy with no name. I only have one favorite author though there are some amazing writers on Lit. You will be my second. Thanks Freegirl2012
I really appreciate all the kind words!
@EroticLitKitty: Chapter two has been submitted. I hope it lives up to your expectations!
@Comentarista82: I'm glad you like her character. I'm enjoying writing her a lot. As for names ... all in due time, all in due time.
@freegirl2012: I don't know what to say either! Wow, those were some of the nicest compliments I've gotten to date. Hopefully guy with no name won't break your heart. : )
A cute sexy story
very original and very entertaining
Thanks, blueexotica!
I hope you like the other chapters too!
;l
man...she couldnt give him a stripper name like lollypop or bubbles? it had to be bitch? that was the only buzz kill for me
@ladiebrowneyez
Sorry! I knew I was treading on thin ice. I just couldn't help myself!
Glad you liked it otherwise ...
pretty good
It was a very shaky start but once you started to write the characters true voices rather than contrived stereotypes you made it pretty damn sexy! Well done
@Anonymous (pretty good)
Thanks! I knew it was a risk having them start off playing those roles, because some readers wouldn't realize it was the characters deliberately behaving that way, not the author thinking those were realistic depictions. I hope you read and enjoy the other chapters too!
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