Loving the story so far although I doubt that email and eight track cassettes ever coexisted in common use. This is a great change of pace from bad boys doing well by being bad. You have also vastly improved the number of word substitutions over previous chapters, in this chapter I could only find steeped instead of stepped. I think my favorite was restraint instead of restaurant several times in previous chapters or maybe queue where you needed cue. Still, you're way better than a couple of authors who are consistently going with prostrate when they mean prostate. Hope you keep going, can already see Sam going off with Justin. I'd like to see Danny put more thought into why girls leave, maybe he could have to deal with one or more girls who are feeling the need for a baby but don't want to leave the group. If not that then some other small increase in conflict would be helpful to show that Danny and his girls can overcome and adapt . Good luck!
for your comment, there are a few twists still to be revealed. I do appreciate the comments in a constructive manner and not the RANT some of those do. At least you understand the limitations of amateur writers and editors. Spell checker can only go so far since volunteer editors are just lining up to do their part.
FYI, companies have had the precursor to email on their internal computer networks long before the internet version of email, back when it was green dot matrix screens and dot matrix printers with wide green bar paper... but then there aren't many of us old enough to remember them. If I could remember what we called it back then I would think abut calling it that, but then these young pups out there wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about.
The '74 Ford I owned had a factory-installed 8-track player and was still chugging along faithfully (albeit with horrible gas mileage) in 1995. 'Mail' within isolated UNIX (or VAX) islands and university- or company networks was commonplace but unthinkably expensive for home use (so we set our PCs up in BBS nets to dial each other at midnight and exchange mail in batches). Danny, however, is privileged and can expense his infrastructure costs on his business. The rest of us had to wait until 1997 or so before broadband via TV-cable offered an affordable option.
Another bracket on 'when' is the availability of affordable CCTV, home cams and video cassettes. But I distinctly remember participating in home porn shot with a cam that connected via an umbilical to a VCR, before the 'Handycam' came along. That was 1985!
Cell phones with analog modulation took off in the early 90's. So far, everything in this story arc fits in a window 1990-1995. By 1996, the notion of a cell phone being something exclusive had begun to fade, and with Windows 95, "everybody" had E-mail via AOL or MSN (still via dial-up modems, though).
But even if it didn't all add up, the stories are STILL fun and captivating to read. I remain hooked!
English
New chapter!!!
Welcome back😆
Hope you had a good holiday break
Thank you for the great chapter
Great story
Loving the story so far although I doubt that email and eight track cassettes ever coexisted in common use. This is a great change of pace from bad boys doing well by being bad. You have also vastly improved the number of word substitutions over previous chapters, in this chapter I could only find steeped instead of stepped. I think my favorite was restraint instead of restaurant several times in previous chapters or maybe queue where you needed cue. Still, you're way better than a couple of authors who are consistently going with prostrate when they mean prostate. Hope you keep going, can already see Sam going off with Justin. I'd like to see Danny put more thought into why girls leave, maybe he could have to deal with one or more girls who are feeling the need for a baby but don't want to leave the group. If not that then some other small increase in conflict would be helpful to show that Danny and his girls can overcome and adapt . Good luck!
Thanks Great Story,
for your comment, there are a few twists still to be revealed. I do appreciate the comments in a constructive manner and not the RANT some of those do. At least you understand the limitations of amateur writers and editors. Spell checker can only go so far since volunteer editors are just lining up to do their part.
FYI, companies have had the precursor to email on their internal computer networks long before the internet version of email, back when it was green dot matrix screens and dot matrix printers with wide green bar paper... but then there aren't many of us old enough to remember them. If I could remember what we called it back then I would think abut calling it that, but then these young pups out there wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about.
A few anachronisms don't matter!
The '74 Ford I owned had a factory-installed 8-track player and was still chugging along faithfully (albeit with horrible gas mileage) in 1995. 'Mail' within isolated UNIX (or VAX) islands and university- or company networks was commonplace but unthinkably expensive for home use (so we set our PCs up in BBS nets to dial each other at midnight and exchange mail in batches). Danny, however, is privileged and can expense his infrastructure costs on his business. The rest of us had to wait until 1997 or so before broadband via TV-cable offered an affordable option.
Another bracket on 'when' is the availability of affordable CCTV, home cams and video cassettes. But I distinctly remember participating in home porn shot with a cam that connected via an umbilical to a VCR, before the 'Handycam' came along. That was 1985!
Cell phones with analog modulation took off in the early 90's. So far, everything in this story arc fits in a window 1990-1995. By 1996, the notion of a cell phone being something exclusive had begun to fade, and with Windows 95, "everybody" had E-mail via AOL or MSN (still via dial-up modems, though).
But even if it didn't all add up, the stories are STILL fun and captivating to read. I remain hooked!
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