Aunt Kate Ch. 02

Great Story

I love the plot. Very hot!

Good yarn!

Like this...want some more...please!

Love it!!

This is one of the hottest storys I ave read in awhile. I like the story line, the characters, the action, & the discription of the action. Good stuff.Thanks for a good two reads, please continue with more!

More Please

He needs to be more aggressive, with the self-proclaimed sluts. Maybe he should start with taking mom's ass.

I read your bio, you are giving up already? The story line was very good for a first effort, very good. And those who post as Anonymous, ignore them. They are just jealous.

TRY THIS!

I read both stories or maybe I should say I skimmed over them, since I'm a speed reader. To be truthful, I only spotted a few problems the first time. After reading the comments, I went back and read more carefully. You do have problems, but they can be fixed, probably by you and without outside help.

Do you write using MS Word? I suggest getting Word 2010, but Word 2007 will probably work. 2010's spell and grammar check will pick up a lot of your problem sentence structure, such as (I was finger and playing with ...) 2010 would have probably picked up the need for fingering and playing. Also it would have flagged (slapping our sweaty bodies together.) as not a sentence.

A much harder problem to fix is using correct words wrongly, even though 2010 will flag a lot of those. (Ex. technics..should be technique.) 2010 may or may not have picked that up. If you have any doubt about word usage, look it up. I didn't see where you did this, but a perfect example is 'your' when 'you're' should be used. Proofread, proofread, proofread, aloud at least once, but I'd say twice in your case. When you find yourself grabbing a breath, consider using a comma.

My last and most important suggestion is STUDY the writer's helps, available in Literotica's resources. Especially Killermuffin's articles on grammar.

The story idea is good. I don't like the dialogue, but I am told younger folks really talk like that, so what do I know? Don't give up, if you enjoy writing.

Thanks***

For the read.

hmmmmm

I am curious about how suddenly the family relationships have changed. And the extreme they have reached so quickly.

shit that was realey hot. so why did you stop at that point.