All Comments on 'Limbo Ch. 02'

You're one of the best writers on this site. Very few can write the depths of human situations as you do. Don't let any of this fucktard commenters in LW discouraged you. Looking forward to many more stories rom you!

and its excellent. Great characters. Realistic situations. Sister bankrupting Milos was a little much but still a fine story. Please continue.

...enjoyed that! I even felt a little bad for Zoe. Not too bad though.

Well done - looking forward to your next one.

simply outstanding. and real 5

I loved your story. It was filled with pain, yet it showed that love and caring can rebuild build that which has been damaged. Thank you very much for your story. Look forward to you next one.

Superbly crafted story. Full of love and heartache and well-drawn characters. This is one of the very best stories on the site.

Tremendous tale. Full of emotion. It's a damn shame what happened to Zoe. Yeah, right. Many interesting characters in this tale. I would like to read a tale about Val and her adventures. Please continue writing tales for LW. You're a welcome addition.

Five Stars Plus

Very emotional, strong plot, powerful characters, thanks so much for sharing your work!

Excellent! I loved the unique style of storytelling. Definite favourite story.

Very, very enjoyable. Hope you will be writing another story soon.

This is all a bit overwrought for my taste. Vicious father, tragic mother, estranged sister, penitent wife, raped girlfriend with the madly gay companion, evil financier dying on his operating table. Whatever happened to the faithful dog?

Milo's has been bankrups for over a year - he was when Zoe and Ethan hooked up - but Val she sold the stock "a few months ago"? Doesn't make sense.

And that was sweet of his sister, subtly ruining the ex wife's bastard financially thus sending them both into limbo. Well at least Ethan and Sam managed to escape it. His ex still has a ways to go to leave hers, but I'm confident she'll tread wiser in the future.

I found this to be much more grounded and reasonable - for a work of fiction. Nicely pulled together.

Not since LTW's "The Last Chimes of Fall" has a Lit story grabbed so much of my attention. Great depth and readability. All the drama you could wish for.

Hat's off to this writer!

It was, quite simply, a masterpiece.

Thank you.

Ripe with the complexities humans actually possess. Some bits over simplified (repentant dad and omnipotent sis) and others spot on in their messiness (guilty battered ex and grasping ex sex). Secondary characters a bit charactery, but that happens when the story is too short to allow their growth. The mash up of strength and weakness within Ethan and Sam glows with honesty.

Far above the usual fare.

...I didn´t actually expect these in-depth dialogues. The way you pointed out their behaviour as reaction to the environmental influences surprised me as absolutely to-the-point and appropriate. I sincerely hope you will continue writing.

An enjoyable read. Thanks for writing.

love the way you write. like watching a painting come to life, your story unfolds and is amazing. the funeral scene brought tears to my eyes. the daughter asking why her daddy was being buried, was truly heart rendering. Too close to home. THANKS for an amazing story. KEEP WRITING.

well told. Characters with nuances and growth and consequences. The old adage that the best revenge is a life well lived comes through.

Was it perfect? No. While Ethan and Zoe were multi-dimensional, some key supporting characters weren't: Samantha was "too good to be true" an Milos was "too bad to be true". But those are minor points that didn't diminish my enjoyment of the story.

And I greatly appreciate his telling the tale in two chapters. I, for one, prefer 10 Lit pages in two chapters of 4-6 pages than 4-5 chapters of 2-3.

Hope that we get to see more from this author. LW sure needs it.

It wasn't pretty, but instead, gutwrenching. It wasn't feel-good, but somehow still fostered hope. These people were wounded, yet still managed to heal.

Was it more the power of a beautiful new dawn, and the comfort of the sun's brilliant spectacle? Or more, the rather understated healing love, experienced through honest compassion?

I admit the set-up in chpt one, must have prepared this jaded and cynical LW audience for this story, to imagine it going in any three different, but still cliched paths- oh so familiar to us. Even then, we could tell you were writing what we expected with skill, but we 'knew' we could see the end coming. I challenge anyone else to admit, even if you can smugly say, 'yeah, I saw that coming...' that you were STILL unprepared to get so caught up with the strong emotions this capable writer was able to evoke!

Simply, THAT is was 5 star writing is all about. We don't have to like ANY of these characters, really, but when we can FEEL the same things that they are feeling? Well then it IS a great story. Period. Writers here do not have to reinvent the wheel if they are talented enough to convince you to come along for the ride. Even if the path is a straight ahead race down to the bottom of the hill, the FUN is in experiencing the full impact of the g-forces on your face, while on your way down.

Great Job! Enjoy your success, and then please return soon, to write us some more. Thankyou!

Lost some emotional impact for me when he fucked the ex and when the sister was discovered to be super rich.

Very good scene at the brother's funeral. Pity the poor American military who die for nothing.

It was truly a touching story! I will surely read it over and over again! Please make more stories!

Enjoyable (in spite of the "Hallmark" ending) 5*. Could I have loved it more ? Oh yeah!

* The coincidences were too much (bull mortally wounded and coming to Ethan for treatment, Ethan's sis screwing up bull's investment etc.,). These weren't necessary, because karma would've taken care of everything.

I liked the absence of bitterness. I felt sorry for Zoe a lot at the end - but after reading Ch.01 again, saw she had no remorse when she was caught.... with her hand in the cookie jar. She sounded disappointed to be caught in the act by Ethan, not more. It didn't look like she would have given Zoe a second thought if the bull had turned out to be "Prince Charming" (despite her protestations during the reverse-cheat).

Overall wonderful story, but would you mind not killing people, even marginal characters in future tales...

should there ever be secrets. TK U MLJ L NV

You have a great talent for writing. Please keep it going. Writing well does more than tell stories, it provides a break for many people from their lives, it provides perspective to many others in areas they do not comprehend and it allows all to enjoy learning.

Thank you

Bravo...........well done

I like to read stories that are full, this was...

The emotions displayed by the characters were the strength of the story. The weakness was the plot. It was a pretty straight path from beginning to end. Take this technical skill, toss in your ability to describe and create emotions in characters, and then add a more complicated, spell binding plot, and you'll have a best seller. (The sister from Upstate New York used the term "Bloody!"? That seemed odd to me.)

Hope you visit us again soon!

Talent spotted and appreciated. Hats off!!!

Great story. The ups and downs just kept coming. Loved it.

One of the best stories I've read . It had it all and a happy ending for all, even Zoe will be ok. She went through hell because of her slutty , selfish , cheating behavior. In the it was great for most and also Zoe will be ok . Loved it

your ending made it all alfred.

It ending to me makes no sense can someone help me understand it thanks

thank you, LaRascasse, for posting this story here at Loving Wives: first, for brightening a sometimes dreary category, and, secondly, for posting it when and where this reader would find it.

Valerie even though estranged from her brother all those years still watched out for him as she promised their mother. When his marriage failed she found out the cause, Milo, and when the opportunity arose bankrupted him.

told the story on how Sam was raped and held prisoner

LaR.... While chap 1 made me a little depressed as it was probably meant to do,the rest of the story sort of uplifted me. There wasn't a syrupy sweet ending but real life with real people don't always provide that outcome. Thank you for your efforts and please write again

Ed

Very good story and reading...Not always in the top, but its final result being very good...It seem the story ends here, but for me the ideal ending would have been the night at the "Le Cirque" and him propose to her. Then all their families would have joined them....Nevertheless endings belong to the writers...

story. I thought the author would have Ethan and Zoe reconcile. That could have worked. I still don't know to whom the child in upstate NY belongs. Val? Mechanically, some mistakes, but not too many. I'm a "tags freak" - this story should have had "cheating wife." Probably more. The names would be of no use if I tried to find this story at a later date. (I've spent hours trying to find a story I read a while back. That story clearly had "blackmail" in it, but the author did not use that tag.) Some day I'll "treat" readers to a rant about how most/all Brit (and some Yank) writers so often mischaracterize Boards of Directors.

Thanks. The first part was excellent, the second-nothing like as good. Too much of the schoolgirl novelette: Surgeon(part-time apparently), investment tycoon, pot-smoking second wife with a past, abused and love-lorn ex.....! Come on, you showed in the first part that you have more imagination than that.

What a great tale. Truly a journey of both the heart and healing. Liked how you wove the elements together and time/place of the story. Got a great sense of the characters and their journey.

Thanks again, one of the best submissions over the past year.

There are some quibbling points,like Ethan treating Zoe and Milis (dr's would not treat someone they had an emotional tie to,either negative or positive).Also, I thought Zoe was a bit weak as a character, we never really find out if she regretted what she did to Ethan,if Milos had not fallen would she have regretted it,or still thought she had done the right thing.She claims she let Ethan go to prevent him pain,yet was it really that or was it easy for who to do because of the brass ring she was grabbing at...that is the one thing that the story never really made clear to me.

But quibbling that is,because the story is one of the best I have read on here,and while the ending is fluffed nutter,there is nothing wrong with that:-)

Thank you for the quick read.

Well done. To save space I'll agree with HDK, but add just a little.

Nice writing. Your showing of peoples thoughts and emotions, what they are feeling... it is not so simple a task. Even the childs agonizing funeral scene. You pulled this off better than most on lit. as of late.

Thank you for your effort.

td

The writing is very good and I am pleased with the ending, although I suspected where it would conclude. As some others have mentioned there was too much that was stereotypical. A drunk abusive father, a mother who dies in his teens, a gay sister, who marries the girl next door and they have a child. The sister is wildly successful and has transformed the old home town so everyone loves her. His wife cheats on him and finds her new husband is abusive and so on.........

I do not object to including some dramatic elements into a story and so much has been written that every subject has been covered somewhere. I just think you put too many of them into this story. If you break down the societal elements you could have chosen two out of about seven and it would have been good enough to weave the plot around. Just some comment, I read to the end and gave it four stars, so I liked it.

Romance for sure. And while there were issues with this story the positives far outweighed the negatives. No short story is perfect but this was both eminently readable and very entertaining. What more can we ask for? Thanks for the work. I look forward to the next chapter. The possibilities are endless.Don't make us wait too long.

What a truly wonderful and heartwarming story. Thank you.

Wow. What a sad and wild ride.

I was afraid that Sam's brother wouldn't make it - saw that one coming. Did not see the twist at the end, though - Val is somebody not to mess with. If this story was fleshed out it could be a major novel - reminds me a bit of "Of Human Bondage" - protagonist in that story was also a physician. Even though the story is ended (and at a logical place), these characters are strong enough to keep going.

I can only say thank you. You are truly a gifted writer. I think of myself as adequate with the pen, but you have me in awe of your writing ability. Congratulations!! You have me stunned!

...I am honored to have read your story. Other than I felt the ending was just a hair hurried, something we all struggle with, the story was incredible and left with me with wetted tissues laying around. Who knew an old 60 year old man could cry tears like this?

I was unsure about Ethan's father. He was an abusive drunk but still had a job as a policeman. Would that happen?

At the end of chapter one, he woke up naked among bodies dead, and alive. He had to apply tourniquets to the more injured. What the hell happened that injured people and required tourniquets? Bad heroine can kill, but it doesn't usually maim, does it?

The comments to date speak for me as well. I'm satisfied with the journey we have been on. I think loving two women at the same time might be worse than no love at all. What Literotica and all the writers are doing has me hungary for more stories like this. I feel I should have more to say, I'm sure to replay this.

I gave the story 5 stars because I was compelled to go to the end caring about some of the most screwed up characters I have ever come across in a story. Everyone was messed up except for the gay fashion photographer and he came on too strong. You write very well and depict scenes so clearly that the reader can see them. This is your first effort in LW and you are on the top of the list on the first day. Congratulations!

I hope you do more in this category but if you do, please think about the married couple more than the surrounding characters. I still found Zoe empty. Her response when he caught her cheating at the hotel was to first address Milo to say that the stranger was her husband, then "I'm sorry you had to find out this way" then the classic: "it's not what you think." I don't think any spouse caught cheating would do this. Then she doesn't come straight home, she thinks about her story on the subway and then tells him "I'm not in love with you any more." She traded her doctor husband who was her high school sweetheart for a finance banker who promised her more expensive stuff. Zoe would not stick around for a beating. After he lost his money, she would have been gone; maybe to try to reconcile with the doctor or find a new sugar daddy. She should have quit working as a nurse and become a professional escort. She's a natural: she is sex, fun, likes to fuck and wants to be with guys with lots of money. Perfect.

Ethan should not get married again without going through therapy. I wouldn't want him to treat me. He is a mess. Gets drunk when he gets upset, descended into an opium den when he left his wife. Can't communicate with anyone effectively. Was victimized by his father growing up. He clearly has issues with women; he wouldn't even talk with his sister who is his guardian angel for years. I hated the scene when he rapes his wife when she returns from her dinner with her lover and didn't like his fucking her when she was his ex when she came to him as an assault victim with fresh bruises from Milo. I could go on.

Needless to say, this story grabbed me and many other readers. You have promise but I think you could do much better. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thanks for your work.

reasonable man

Finally a loving wives story worth reading. Like a breath of fresh air in a stale environment given all the trash cuckoldry tales dominating this category. Gave it a well deserved 5 stars. Thanks for the entertainment. (ML)

Great story for the most part but way to much focus on Zoe imho. Considering how badly she treated Ethan, I just can't see her staying with an abusive loser like Milos. As another poster mentioned, she would of dumped his broke ass and moved onto sugar daddy number 3 when he lost all his money and status, never mind sending her to the hospital multiple times and causing her to fear for her life.

More focus on Val, a character so much more interesting, would of made this story into an all time epic.

I am certainly guilty of overthinking things at times, but this story really did connect with me and I have thought about it a lot, and after chapter 2, I think I understand Zoe and her horrible behavior better.

She knows Ethan better than anybody. She knows he is stubborn/proud as hell and that includes cutting off all communication with his sister and father. Such a person would not be likely to take back a cheating wife. At the moment she was caught, she might very well not have known whether she wanted to be with Milos or with Ethan. Her thoughts to herself (putrid behavior) shows she was struggling. Her self-initiated physical and verbal affection to Ethan also suggests that. But then she got caught. And she knew that if she tried to stay with Ethan, she would like fail to keep him (i.e. this is where her knowing his stubbornness comes in) and would certainly lose Milos. So she made a decision sooner than she may have if she hadn't been caught.

I am NOT defending Zoe. I despise what she did to her husband and best friend, especially since she knew she was basically all he had. Her allowing herself to be pursued my Milos at all was absolutely unacceptable. But, after having read more, I think I can understand (though not approve of) her actions when caught.

Or, I may just be overthinking it :)

You don't have the hang of LW Larascasse . This red more like one of your romances. It is a fair effort. Gave you 3*s.

The emotional connection between him and Zoe was not explored nor developed enough. That would make the impact of betrayal much more emotionally powerful to the reader. In fact Zoe character was not much more than a cartoon character. The opportunity for character development was there, in outline. The conflict they had with his father and sister. Their bonding during that time would have made her cheating years later of much greater impact, to the reader.

Sam's trauma , of less importance, also wasn't ssufficiently explored .

It seems this could have been a 5*s story but you would have to lengthen it quite a bit, maybe 4 chapters about 25 to 30 pages . I reccommend you look at Jidoka and Laptopwriter they have some very emotionally powerful long form stories similar to what you just attempted .

Good luck and thanks for the story. I am

AMerryMan

Wow, talk about messing up! I need an editor for my comments, lol

Sorry everyone. I know I'll blame my phone, it is at fault.

LMAO

AMerryMan

As part two started out I was beginning to dislike Ethan because he was such a sad sack. I get his being upset and his lack of confidence. But he has a great job and is paid well. That's a good start. Then along comes Samantha. Wow. What a breath of fresh air. But Ethan still wants to be a downer. He has a vivacious gal taking him to do all sorts of fun and interesting things and he's still not with the program. Here's a conflict. A trauma surgeon needs to be confident and decisive. That's actually part of their personality. That doesn't match the sad, pining ex-hubby.

Then he sleeps with the ex. Yuck. WHY? He does it over and over. Maybe he doesn't admit that he is in a relationship with Samantha but he hardly give it a thought. I was just about to give up on him. He deserved to be cheated on.

But the rest of the chapter redeemed him. Reconciles with his family. He takes an even better job. He does the right thing with Milos. He breaks from Zoe although I wonder what he would have done if she didn't leave town. And FINALLY realizes he is in love with Samantha. Even for a guy he was being pretty dense.

So you saved the story and it cane out pretty good.

but I am sure you threw in the last para about Val bankrupting Milo at the last read through, as someone else observed it did not fit in the jigsaw properly. I note you used an editor but there were still a few silly typos so perhaps you need to check before posting. Still, it was a noble effort I thought you captured the scene of him catching her with Milo very well and got the anguish right. Val and all of that just didn't do it for me. i loved the tongue in cheek effort to include all social minorities. We had a monopodic Asian girl called Jade. A raving queen in Damien not to mention the lesbian sister and abusive father. then you even got in a beaten wife and a rape victim as the female leads, oh sorry forgot the bereft child weeping at her hero fathers grave side. Thanks for sharing it with us, I'm just off to read the rest of your stories.

Wow! Truly a wonderful story. For a first effort at a LW story, it was outstanding. You fully developed the characters into complicated personalities and made them believable. Keep up your efforts to make further inroads in this genre.

...in the LW category.

Excellent story. Emotionally invested. Realistic characters. Decent plot (was a bit straightforward), which doesn't truly matter if you have the writing chops to hook the reader, which you do.

Note: this is my first comment ever on Lit. While I love many of the "masters" (i.e., HDK, DQS, QHM1, Stang, etc.), and have never commented on their stories, I felt compelled to do so here purely to encourage you to please keep writing in this category. I am positive you will build on this excellent story and provide fantastic and engaging stories for those of us who hunger to read quality work.

Thank you.

*****

I had several comments as I went along, most of them were actually made and responded to withing the story.

I am so happy that there was no reconciliation, and that Ethan and Sam ended up together.

I don't really think it's a shame what happened to Zoe, and I don't think she would think so either.

It may be extreme that she had to endure the physical abuse, but I think it actually helped her come to terms with the pain she caused.

Meanwhile she is starting a new life, secure in the knowledge that Ethan has forgiven her and has acknowledged their 10 years of hapiness.

Maybe I missed something, but how did Val know about Milos?

I'm sure given their estrangement that Ethan never told her, and as someone else said, there was definitely a continuity error in her saying she sold the stock "a few months ago", it certainly SEEMED longer ago than that!

Great plot,loved the characters - Give us more !

It is nice to see that we have another author to follow. I admit that the first chapter was quite depressing but you got the feel that he had hit his nadir and had to go up. The story was full of sprightly character and interesting dialogue !

Thank God. Another author worth following!

Way to long and did not care about any of the characters.

it wasn't long enough and i loved the characters.

Overall I agree with the sentiments of most of your commentors here, that this story was well done and highly engaging. Your portrayal of the complexities of our emotional experiences in life were very close to spot on, and those were done wish such engaging style that I give it my highest compliment - the emotional story nearly shone through well enough that the words themselves used almost disappeared. The highest goal of a writer is to disappear behind the story being told, and you were so very close to achieving exactly that.

I'll pick a different quibble with your plot selection, however. Zoe deserved to win her husband and life back - precisely _because_ she ws giving him - and _them_ - up to save him from more pain. This is one of the highest forms of love in action, and while it may seem maudlin to some, there is some truth to the old maxim "if you let go of what you love, and it comes back to you - you will always have it" (and if it doesn't return to you, it was never "yours" to begin with). Such love merits its own rewards - at least eventually, and indeed, there remains the possibility of such a trajectory for this story's arc even as it is presently concluded. But those are the choices of the author, after all...

Well done, regardless of everyone's quibbles and nits picked.

I see you have been writing pretty good stories in other catergory s , but this one makes you one of the best at loving wifes. You can feel the pain of the characters in your story, the remark of the child when her father goes into the ground. Zoe was something else what she did to move up and dump her man only to go back after Val destroyed her new man. At least she new in the end it was over and left town. So I hope to see more stories in. This category . ! Thanks for writing I really enjoyed it.

A really fine effort, and a pleasure to read. Thanks for your submission, I'll look forward to seeing more from you.

Good dialogue and character development (except Zoe, who needed a little more fleshing out concerning her motivations). I look forward to more from you in this category.

Okay, I have more to say than that. What a pleasure it is to discover your work. I have never read anything you have written until now. That's going to change. You are talented! I am so impressed by what I have read. One paragraph really made an impression.

"Fireflies lit up the air, specks of light fleetingly held by the near darkness. It was a mirror to the myriad stars strewn over the black tapestry of night above him. The crimson tinge of the setting sun fighting for its last bit of relevance for the day segued into the deepening twilight. The aria of homecoming birds and insects, the dim silver of the half moon, all of it and none of it made the moment special. Ethan's eyes were locked on the carefree spirit taking pictures of nature in front of him."

I could say so many things about this story, but I think I can sum up what I would like to say with just two words, "Thank you!"

Nice long well detail story. You give us sex scenes with Zoe and Ethan. When the time finally comes for Sarah and Ethan you give us a few kisses and then you end the story with a few good details for the epilogue.

Really would have loved more sexual details on Sarah's past and there first of many special nights of sex.

I guess I am wrong to ask but it was just something that was missing for me....

Solid 3, which in this category is quite good, as you will see. Looking forward to more of your stuff.

Your gift is apparent and impressive. Subtly, you introduce many characters and develop them as integral to the story. Morality is your underlying theme, inspiring your readers. Well done.

I have to start off saying the Epilogue sucked. That being said, this is how I'd like to write. Enjoyed it. Characters were real and there was enough information to help the reader know them but not so much detail to lose track of the story. I liked the way Ethan and Sam were both described as being in their own self-imposed prisons. Even though they had different reasons for being there they were basically stuck in the same situation. I hope you will offer more in the future.

Nice twist at the end. Very well done.

A good story well told

Enjoyed your very good writing. The story not so much. For me, too much heartbreak. I've had enough of that to last until I croak. You're doing quite well for a "new" writer. Or perhaps just jumping on the naughty bandwagon to while away time. Bona fortuna! connoisseur29

A well written story. Liked the flow of the prose. Character development was realistic in context of the plot. Consequences for life decisions were balanced whether caused by outside factors or the characters response to what they had done. Plotting was magnificent. A hard to read story that left one feeling out of sorts and in empathy for many of the characters. If one is a pessimist it would be a story that life is a bitch then you die. If an optimist then dad changed. Zoe has a chance and can use the ten years of good marriage as a template as well as how Evan treated her after divorce. Milos received his karma. Of course Sam and Evan have each other. There is sunshine in spite of pain. So well done.

two minor set of observations:

1. what happened to Callie, the upfront colleague doctor at his old hospital (whose dad was the mentor/older/supervisory doctor to both our hero and Callie)?

I like her realistic attitude better. Fuck, she even smoked, and knew that's gonna kill her; and she even made jokes about it. Why such a short cameo for her and then put her out of existence like that.

2. And Sam... the Pulitzer Prize photographer... maybe I didn't pay too much attention to her sad, sad tragic past (not about her closeness to her brother & his services and ultimate sacrifice, but why was all this hush-hush about her, from all her family members?

And, then, when she went ahead and told her harrowing tragic story, it started and ended: "Long time ago, I was dark and then..." ? I mean, seriously, WTF is that?

Anyway, the bitchin' here is ---- while it WAS A GOOD STORY ---- Sam's story was no more unique or compelling than Callie the young doctor and colleague of our hero's... and, as I said, Callie's upfront, brutally honest and reality-based attitude is a refreshing character... so why gave her such a one-dimensional role, when she's so much more interesting, as a person, than Samantha?

She was, after all, correct ---- by the dark semi-circles under her eyes, as our hero correctly observed ---- in that only one doctor, like her, would understand another doctor, like him, in the brutal world they're in, as young doctors the system was trying to see if they really do have what it takes to become ER doctors...

Indeed, I think of all the characters, Damien the guy and Sam's best friend, and Callie, the young doctor and our hero's colleague... they're the most realistic characters, coming off as the most lively and interesting characters, although they're given hardly anything to work with in the reader's head, by the author...

Beautiful story. Well structured believable characters. I enjoyed the read very much. Most importantly (to me), I cannot thank you enough for the well written manner in which you handled the loss of Sam's brother in the service of his country. A very emotionally heavy and honest scene for those of us with family who serve(d).

i always love well-told, carefully crafted stories. for a while they take you in and make you part of their world – you feel for the characters and wonder where their fate will take them. contrary to some people's believes there are quite a few great story tellers in here, especially in loving wives. the best of them are american or british, which might be explained by their advantage of the language. but there is one thing, especially with american storytellers, that – in the end – often slightly lets me down. i have it with daniel steel, rehnquist, stangstar, even with ohio and sometimes with harddaysknight too: they are never at ease with leaving well alone. bread can't be bread: in the end there has to be a layer of syrup on it.

in this story by larascasse, there is so much syrup in the end that it makes people i liked (ethan, sam, his sister and even zoe) turn from 'real people' i got fond of, into story-vehicles... fairytale characters. valerie is suddenly a stock exchange wizard, only to enable her to crush the villain, who ends up very, very villainous – but of course she is a wonderful do-gooder in her home town. the father conquers his flaws, all of them. and why did the brother have to die – just to give us a tear-jerking funeral? and linda? why do all these emotions have to be turned up to maximum wattage? why can't sam just be a good photographer, but does she have to be covered in fame and awards? why, in the end, do all the good people have to be so perfect? i loved them better the way they started out.

i like american storytellers. i like the way they entertain, but i think their lust to entertain at all cost is at the same time their flaw. but nevertheless: thanks, larascasse, for a few hours of pleasure. i look out for your next story.

But I must echo some of the other comments regarding Ethan's lack of ethics in treating Zoe as well as Milos. A doctor knows he/she cannot be objective in such cases. Further, I had some difficulty understanding Ethan's job. In chapter one, he helps a radiologist (the woman who tries to seduce him) by reviewing an x-ray. Is he a radiologist too? No, later we learn he's an ER doc. But wait, he's a trauma surgeon as well -- he scrubs in to help save Milos (an ER physician would not do this; he'd just be in the way in the operating room). Lots of contradictions here.

I also don't think it's moral to make love to a patient. In fact, it's illegal. Zoe is his patient from the ER. Never mind that she's his ex-wife. Having sex with her does not help her, it makes her more dependent on him, yet he knows he won't ever take her back. He should have taken her to a woman's shelter had he really wanted to help her. Many victims of abuse are afraid to get help, talk to police, etc. With any other patient in the ER, Ethan would have followed through, but again, he can't be objective when treating someone he still loves.

So despite a well-written story, I cannot quite give five stars for this. A solid four, however, and I do look forward to more stories in the future.

Terrific in every way Five huge stars! Thank you

Thank You!!!

@GenghisKhan Re: Sam’s past – First, her family didn’t tell him specifics because they (and Sam!) felt it was HER story to tell. Second, it was obvious to me that her boyfriend in Spain caused her to be gang-raped. I don’t think it was necessary for us to have all the gory details.

Zoe – I liked the fact that she wasn’t the typical LW stupid cunt cheating wife.

@Vulcan_In_Ohio Re: Ethan’s duties – I admit to knowing next to nothing about the medical field, but here are my (probably wildly inaccurate!) thoughts on the subject: I believe he was a Resident with various rotations, so he might be in the ER one week, somewhere else the next. I do agree that Radiology and trauma surgery are specialties that an ordinary Resident wouldn’t be handling on their own.

This was a super story , I hope you can keep writing in the loving wives category . I gave you themax 5 stars. You hit a home run here even with the numerous flaws in your characters, 1 an er doctor can he also be a surgeon, treating his beat up wife, doing surgery on her dying husband. His sister destroying Zoe's husband , how did she know? The fathers abusing his family and turns himself around. There was a lot on the table to swallow. But it worked and it flowed nicely .

Very well done, and better than almost everything that's gone through this genre in the last few months.

However, you managed to capture one of the biggest weaknesses of LW, which is that almost no one seems to know how to write a happy ending that doesn't include "perfect woman out of nowhere" syndrome and/or unexpected and often implausible massive financial gain. No genre is better than its ability to rise above and break free from its own stereotypes, and LW seems more and more mired (where the crowd hasn't just chased authors away, which has been problem enough that we're lucky to see a non-cuck story about a tenth as often as we used to) in repetition.

Can anyone explain what happened that he had to place tourniquets on people at that warehouse in chapter 1? Any clue at all? Did I read it wrong?

You read it right. My guess is the author wrote it wrong. There were a few continuity/timing/sensibility issues in the stories and that is one of them.

I'd give it 6 stars! Maybe I'm an incurable romantic, but I liked this better than the ones you said inspired it. So well done, excellent story all around.

It seems almost everyone loved this story except me. The weakness in Ethan's personality turned me off. He should never have allowed his slut ex wife in his house. 2 stars

First of all, thanks to everyone for your votes, comments and feedback. It's truly been overwhelming to receive a total of 174 comments (and counting!) over both parts in such a short span. Since they have mostly been positive, I can take it as a sign that I've done something right.

To those of you who felt some of my details were off and some of the plot could be reworked, you're right. This story was the end of a dry spell for me and I was desperate to get the words out before my real life work swamped me again. Admittedly, I got a little carried away with the characters and plotlines. I swear I'm usually better than this (usually being a relative term). In retrospect, I should have thought out the timelines better and paid more attention to the minute details like Valerie exacting her revenge a year ago, rather than a few months.

I'd like to take this opportunity to respond to a few commenters whose opinions I greatly value.

@angiquesophie: You're right, my characters came out overly perfect/imperfect. Strangely enough, in the fiction I like to read, I like subtle, understated character studies rather than shining white knights set up against irredeemable monsters. Your stories are a good example of meaning much without writing it. The denouement in the epilogue was the scene I wrote first and sort-of worked my way back from there so everything fit. In retrospect, not the best idea. Thanks for taking the time to read it, nonetheless.

@Harddaysknight: I probably should have done a better job of describing what was going on before Ethan passed out to give a clear idea why tourniquets were needed. I envisioned it to be rave where those who were high also injured themselves in the drug-addled flights of fancy. I basically wanted to show Ethan waking up in a scene where everything has gone to hell. You're right in pointing that out. Kudos.

All in all, my first attempt in this category was a rewarding experience. I've taken all the positives and learned my lessons regarding making the characters and plot seem more real. If I write something else, hopefully, I'll do a better job.

Carpe diem,

- LaRascasse