Clinical and slightly creepy - what college-age young man still calls his mother 'mommy'? The overtones of anal rape and non-consent didn't exactly warm me to it, either. Sorry, this fell flat with me, no stars.
I know these stories are at the request of a friend, but you explore the dynamics of the situation so well, it is hard to accept the fact that this is not really happening. You write wonderful, twisted stories.
5 stars for this one and I do hope you spend a little more time with this story line. His claiming of his mother by anal sex reminds me a few episodes in my past.
Thank you
Loved it. I love how you pay so much attention to what's going on inside of the mother's head, instead of just detailing the physical mechanics. I love that you express the mother's inner turmoil, how conflicted she is, and how the son breaks her. With that said, you also detail the physical very well. The description of the anal rape was perfect and sent me over the top.
This was a very good continuation but stills needs editing. I loved the way you express how the mother was having an internal conflict over the incestuous relationship.
Wish there was some more, like son taking his mom while his dad is in the house, unaware what is going on.
You had several misspellings so I gave you 4 instead of 5 stars. The imagery and eroticism was great. I like BDSM but I like mother/son stories more.
Your picture on your biography page is GORGEOUS!!! I will follow you on twitter, and on here as well. I usually lurk around on the Loving Wives section.
The errors had me re-reading sentences more than once to grasp what you are trying to say. Also when the husband fucked her I couldn't tell what hole he was in but then you tell how her son took her anal cherry so I assume the hubby fucked her pussy.
In short it's good but proof reading your stories carefully will help it more. *** Would have been more if less confusing at times.
by
Anonymous01/14/15
no
I don't like the rape or reluctance aspect of the son taking his mommy. I love calling mother 'mommy' when we make love. I never want to forget who we are to each other. But I don't own her. She gives me her pussy exclusively as she does her heart because she wishes to. Not because I bent her over the bathroom lavatory and raped her anally. And without lube, no less. Do you realize what you could do to someone's rectum without lubeing it well first. This is just wrong on so many levels. She recognizes the evil in him, yet she submits to him. She should run naked into the street screaming for help.
by
Anonymous01/14/15
re: I curled up into a ball after my son as left the room sobbing.
Why was he crying?
That may not have been what you meant, but that's what you wrote. To indicate SHE was crying you could have written it several ways.
After my son left the room. I curled up into a ball, sobbing.
or
I curled up into a ball, sobbing, after my son left the room.
Of course, there's also the matter of the extra "as" in "my son as left the room".
This is just an example of so much that is wrong with this story.
Also, apparently this is a chapter of an on-going story. I looked at your story list. Yeah, I’m going to waste my time trying to figure out which stories are the previous chapter and the order. I guess you just don’t give a fuck about your own story.
I love the whole D/s dynamic going on where the mother is being sucked into this whole situation almost without conscious thought.
A suggestion though would be to list the previous chapters at the top of the new chapter since it is a series, but not in a traditional sequence like Chap 1, Chap 2, etc.
Yes there are a few errors but nobody's perfect. As a whole, it's a very good story; graphic, brutal, and above all else, sexy as hell! I hope you continue writing a lot
I can forgive a story that doesn't use perfect grammar and has a few typos. I have no patience for stories that are so poorly written I have to "figure out" what the hell the author meant. This is one of THOSE stories. I'd say you write like English wasn't your first language, but I honestly believe a foreigner would have used better grammar than this particular author. I think your problem is that you simply don't have a clue HOW to write. If you plan on writing more, PLEASE get that clue before you post anymore botched abortions like this one.
No better than drunk husband using her like a piece of meat.
Over all the whole thing sucked.
by
Anonymous01/15/15
This shit was far from being worth the ace I gave it BUT
LIT. wont give us anything to indicate how fucking lousy A story like this garbage is
Anal rape ,, and without lube,, thats about the time the fucking sleaze should have been neutered using A rusty tin can lid
I enjoyed it even if a lot of others apparently didn't! I liked your Interracial stories, and this incest themed story has the potential to be right up there with them. Keep writing, never mind the critics!
by
Anonymous01/16/15
Poor plot
Poor plot, poorly written! Let's hope there's NO sequel!
Don't listen to the people who write negative comments on stuff like this. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it. It's that simple. It was good. A few errors, but otherwise, good. Keep up the good work!
English
Strangely un-erotic
Clinical and slightly creepy - what college-age young man still calls his mother 'mommy'? The overtones of anal rape and non-consent didn't exactly warm me to it, either. Sorry, this fell flat with me, no stars.
Interesting Developement
I know these stories are at the request of a friend, but you explore the dynamics of the situation so well, it is hard to accept the fact that this is not really happening. You write wonderful, twisted stories.
5 stars for this one and I do hope you spend a little more time with this story line. His claiming of his mother by anal sex reminds me a few episodes in my past.
Thank you
Loved it. I love how you pay so much attention to what's going on inside of the mother's head, instead of just detailing the physical mechanics. I love that you express the mother's inner turmoil, how conflicted she is, and how the son breaks her. With that said, you also detail the physical very well. The description of the anal rape was perfect and sent me over the top.
This was a very good continuation but stills needs editing. I loved the way you express how the mother was having an internal conflict over the incestuous relationship.
Really enjoyed your story.
Wish there was some more, like son taking his mom while his dad is in the house, unaware what is going on.
You had several misspellings so I gave you 4 instead of 5 stars. The imagery and eroticism was great. I like BDSM but I like mother/son stories more.
Your picture on your biography page is GORGEOUS!!! I will follow you on twitter, and on here as well. I usually lurk around on the Loving Wives section.
That was hot but...
The errors had me re-reading sentences more than once to grasp what you are trying to say. Also when the husband fucked her I couldn't tell what hole he was in but then you tell how her son took her anal cherry so I assume the hubby fucked her pussy.
In short it's good but proof reading your stories carefully will help it more. *** Would have been more if less confusing at times.
no
I don't like the rape or reluctance aspect of the son taking his mommy. I love calling mother 'mommy' when we make love. I never want to forget who we are to each other. But I don't own her. She gives me her pussy exclusively as she does her heart because she wishes to. Not because I bent her over the bathroom lavatory and raped her anally. And without lube, no less. Do you realize what you could do to someone's rectum without lubeing it well first. This is just wrong on so many levels. She recognizes the evil in him, yet she submits to him. She should run naked into the street screaming for help.
re: I curled up into a ball after my son as left the room sobbing.
Why was he crying?
That may not have been what you meant, but that's what you wrote. To indicate SHE was crying you could have written it several ways.
After my son left the room. I curled up into a ball, sobbing.
or
I curled up into a ball, sobbing, after my son left the room.
Of course, there's also the matter of the extra "as" in "my son as left the room".
This is just an example of so much that is wrong with this story.
Also, apparently this is a chapter of an on-going story. I looked at your story list. Yeah, I’m going to waste my time trying to figure out which stories are the previous chapter and the order. I guess you just don’t give a fuck about your own story.
Very, very HOT!
I love the whole D/s dynamic going on where the mother is being sucked into this whole situation almost without conscious thought.
A suggestion though would be to list the previous chapters at the top of the new chapter since it is a series, but not in a traditional sequence like Chap 1, Chap 2, etc.
Very good
Yes there are a few errors but nobody's perfect. As a whole, it's a very good story; graphic, brutal, and above all else, sexy as hell! I hope you continue writing a lot
Why blow smoke up someone's ass?
I can forgive a story that doesn't use perfect grammar and has a few typos. I have no patience for stories that are so poorly written I have to "figure out" what the hell the author meant. This is one of THOSE stories. I'd say you write like English wasn't your first language, but I honestly believe a foreigner would have used better grammar than this particular author. I think your problem is that you simply don't have a clue HOW to write. If you plan on writing more, PLEASE get that clue before you post anymore botched abortions like this one.
Son
No better than drunk husband using her like a piece of meat.
Over all the whole thing sucked.
This shit was far from being worth the ace I gave it BUT
LIT. wont give us anything to indicate how fucking lousy A story like this garbage is
Anal rape ,, and without lube,, thats about the time the fucking sleaze should have been neutered using A rusty tin can lid
I enjoyed it even if a lot of others apparently didn't! I liked your Interracial stories, and this incest themed story has the potential to be right up there with them. Keep writing, never mind the critics!
Poor plot
Poor plot, poorly written! Let's hope there's NO sequel!
I do not like rape scenes
The son is no better than his old man.
Seriously?
Don't listen to the people who write negative comments on stuff like this. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it. It's that simple. It was good. A few errors, but otherwise, good. Keep up the good work!
keep going
this story needs more - good chapter
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Only for My Son or
More submissions by JerseyGirlBcom.