Initiation

Too short

Good start, but you should of put more effort into the story before publishing 1 page!

Curse of the spell-checker

pubic, not public.

how do you move fact towards something? try reading it before you submit it

this is the beginning of and old old story that has already been posted.

So, you couldn't be bothered to warn people this wasn't a complete story.

Ya know, with a chapter number in the title, rather than a terse statement that can only be read after opening the fucking thing. Do you care that little about your own story?

Stuff like this..........

"Jenny kissed my check and stepped away " is why it's only worth ***. Spell check won't help this but a simple proofread would do wonders for the readability of the story.

Hurry with part 2

For those who complain about your spelling or grammar-don't listen to them. If they are into that then they are not into the story. Hurry with the next part.

Great

Love the story and can't wait for the next instalment. Who cares if it's an old one, it's a bone raising good one!

Confusing

Are we talking about his initiation or his daughters? Seems to be lots of promise but no pay off. Just can't get into it, sorry.

max052

love it

need more please

Very confusing!

I can only hope things pick up!