All Comments on 'School and Mall'

Read it five times and it made absolutely no sense at all. Who the hell is Harold, did sherry have a one night stand, I got that Dan the first beat up Sears, but honestly this was a story of futility. Now Connie wants Dan. This is almost as bad as Carl and Alice.

Subtleness is one thing, stupidity another.

perhaps another reader can enlighten me.

Oh in case anyone is wondering about "Sears" ask Roebuck...

who's on first. too many names, too little emotion, even the characters don't really care'

PS most older guys go with women 10 year younger, so they for the most part they don't do thier high school crushes..

The story was too clever by half, and I read it twice

What a waste of space. Author too clever, turns out the jokes on him. Obviously the reader has been played.

its like listening to an old 45 that skips. You miss the words. Here the author missed on everything.

An easy 1*

You are perhaps too cerebral for this site. In an attempt at what I assume to be cleverness, you over wrote this into a complete mess. I think the comments and score will tell you that. Sorry. I've enjoyed several of your stories. Not this one.

Subtly underplayed - keep it up

........ it took a few decades for the message to reach. :-)

But, back then, Connie was a bit of a stupid cow.

Ah well.... at least they have exchanged their numbers, at last.

I liked the word rationing & the play of words in this flash.

The reference between 'Dan' & 'Karate' was a nice touch.

For me, this was a much better version, although I gave a 5 to both the parts.

Its better to be short & a bit 'Brainy' when you are avoiding too much emotions. IMO.

I'm passing you a note with 5*s, hope you'd receive it in a few decades. :-)

Don't understand why anyone couldn't follow the plot. The second note passing was a nice touch.

with Daddy1950. However, if one looks at the majority of the stories on this site (and similar ones), the people with more than single digit IQs are probably a minority.

A perfectly twined short story. This one's a testament to your skill.