by Spencerfiction
Lots of points raised however. If Lizzie received a wedding invitation it surely it would have said where the wedding was taking place? What was the significance of the hospital being reopened? In the three years she was gone, one of the family would have tried to find her to explain her adoption. Especially Chloe, her real mother, would have. Or Stephan, who was intending to marry her. What if she had not turned up or was already married to someone else? Anyway it is happier than 'Jude the obscure'.
These characters are confusing. If Lizzie knew, at least one of them should have wondered why Lizzy never brought up anything about her knowing of her adoption before the reading of the will. Lizzie would have thrown a tantrum if she knew before hand.
Lizzie definitely behaved like a spolied brat. Running away and cutting herself off. Then years later running back carrying on like a crazy person. I guess the drama can be a lesson learned. Don't assume things without the facts.
You can be a good writer at times and at times I think you try to be too clever for anyone's good. After they have all lied to her for practically her entire life you expect us to believe she would suddenly forgive them after hearing their convoluted explanations? I think it would further enrage her and convince her to simply turn away and leave them all standing their, once again. No one thought it might be a good idea to go to her and make some explanations? The jackass Stephen carries the torch for her for four years in hopes that she'll magically return to marry him? Was he delusional? And what about her? She wears an engagement ring for FOUR years? What woman in their right mind does that? It made no sense. It certainly wasn't romantic, more like obsessive, behavior. And your non-ending? "I'll try it, but not to them?" Maybe I'm just dense. She wants to "try" marriage to him, but not to "them"? Who is "them"? She doesn't want to get married in front of her family and friends? Not that she really considered them friends. She's stuck with her family although she clearly hasn't missed them for four years. And then the snail mail. They knew where she was. What was the problem getting mail to her? And what would they have done if she hadn't opened the mail? On seeing who sent it, given her feelings and the amount of time passed I give better odds to her throwing it unopened into the trash. SO she never goes back and none of this takes place. Sorry, this was just too convoluted and implausible to make for a good read. Totally unsatisfying. Bloody British sense of propriety and reserve. No stars.
...Sf, it shows what a good writer you are, to get your readers so involved with the characters of this story.
Yes, to a certain extent i can understand the comments complaining of how you developed the action in this story.
However, as a writer myself, i think i understand your intentions on working through the storyline dramatics in the manner you did. From that point of view, i believe that you accomplished your goals.
This was a great tale with a happy ending. You could have dragged this on chapter after chapter but the quick resolution made it worthwhile. I agree with the last comment. You are a great writer.
Five Stars
She should have been told. She reacted entirely correctly. How else was she supposed to act?
Also the 70% division with proof of adultery would not happen.