James,
To make your story easier for us readers, split the story into paragraphs. Put about three to a normal screen. It helps the reader's eye track their location on the screen.
Use quotation marks for the dialogue. The following is as you wrote the sentence.
"Once she put it back on she didn't talk to me and asked what had gotten into me."
Just a suggestion, try,
"Once she put it back on she didn't talk to me.
Then she asked, "What had gotten into you?". My reply was just a grin.
Keep up the good work,
Sj
by
Anonymous01/28/15
believable
very believable account, hope there is more about making your wife less conservative
English
Created a powerful image for me.
Yes, it is tame
That was very tame, but it was also believable. Hoping she becomes a little less shy and a little daring. Good luck.
i liked your story..
James,
To make your story easier for us readers, split the story into paragraphs. Put about three to a normal screen. It helps the reader's eye track their location on the screen.
Use quotation marks for the dialogue. The following is as you wrote the sentence.
"Once she put it back on she didn't talk to me and asked what had gotten into me."
Just a suggestion, try,
"Once she put it back on she didn't talk to me.
Then she asked, "What had gotten into you?". My reply was just a grin.
Keep up the good work,
Sj
believable
very believable account, hope there is more about making your wife less conservative
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