Very good for your first effort. Keep writing.
Refine the dialog and you'll do well! Good plot.
I like stories like these. It didn't become tacky by having the friend join in or anything, just a nice story. Dialogue could be a bit better, but not bad
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English
Great start
Very good for your first effort. Keep writing.
Very good 1st Story!!
Refine the dialog and you'll do well! Good plot.
nice work
I like stories like these. It didn't become tacky by having the friend join in or anything, just a nice story. Dialogue could be a bit better, but not bad
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Best Mistake or
More submissions by Ivan_Ho.