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Rachel's Florida Fantasy Pt. 01

byeleveneliminator©
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Comments (5)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous01/24/15

Wrong catergory

It belongs in erotic couplings, not loving wifes no married couple in this short story.

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by thebuffalo01/24/15

Good effort. The previous commenter is correct; it doesn't belong in "Loving Wives" category, but that isn't a thing. Categories are important only to the extent it makes it easier to find offerings that are of higher interest to the potential reader.

My only negative with the story is that it "feels" as though it wasn't written in your normal "voice." It appeared you were more conscious of the writing and less of the story telling.

Overall good job. Would like to see more from you.

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by impo_6001/24/15

Still not married...

They were still not married and so could try everything...even if it was strange...I can admit that after a lot of years of marriage a couple think in try different things...But while they still woo, still are discovering each other, why the need to try those things? Unless they have no intention to give the next pass and marry...In that case it's all fun...If this is the case in this story, then they can have fun...Another bad thing in it is the other guy, being a false friend doesn't care about the relations between the others, and think only in cheat them...That's why this story didn't convince me, and didn't matter if the category is wrong or not...

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by Anonymous01/28/15

Hard to categorize as LW, when they aren't married and this.....

....is really just another cuck story.
Too bad it isn't more original, either.

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by Anonymous02/08/15

Good start

Nice start. Look forward to reading more

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