english is not the writers familiar language.. i do see a tad bit of improvement in 2nd hell .. kidnapped cunt lipps really made me chuckle in hell 1 , i had to check to see i really read that there.. but yes i hope writer continues but with an editor ... and for the comments about her being a whore , it seems you need to be reading stories at nickalodeon not lit erot ica...
people can be sluts , cucks , wimps , whores or cheaters
here , its literotica.. if you need happy and perfect love or marriage , try romance or first time catagories..
by
Anonymous01/24/15
Poor Hedgehog
@ cindylynn34 You are wrong, because in LW in the BTB stories are happy ex husbands who changed his cheating ex wife to better girlfriends wives and I am fan of such stories! (Generally above 4.0 avarage point.............)
The male hedgehog exclaimed, "To make mistakes is human characterestic!"
And the hedgehog climed down from the mop brush.
I agree with @cindylynn34...Here people can be sluts , cucks , wimps , whores or cheaters!!! What we differ is that here we can comment accepting it or not...Our comments being against will not change what was said before about people can be what they want...2*
by
Anonymous01/24/15
Even with a so called editor, it was almost unreadable.
by
Anonymous01/26/15
You just need to use two keyboard entries to improve this story . . .,
hit Select All, then hit Delete. Thank You.
Then, learn to write in the English language.
by
Anonymous01/28/15
An annoying, interfering number of errors....
in spelling, grammar, number, person and sentence structure, made this already depressing story an uncomfortable read.
Whether I like your story or not, you owe it to yourself respect to put enough editorial effort into it to clean up the mess tThat usually comes to a piece as it's written.
For better or worse, once you release it...it represents you in this space.
So, do you like the idea of appearing a complete slob and a careless and indifferent writer?
Probably not, but one cannot tell much else from the state of your piece.
Please, take the time to make it as smooth as a great 50 year old single malt scotch.
English
women who think with their cunts should never marry
fucking in the office makes her simply a whore and she has shown total a complete disrespect and lack of love to her husband. End of story
So in the next chapter does Dan share her with his other desease riddled friends before dumping her contaminated cunt?
it seems
english is not the writers familiar language.. i do see a tad bit of improvement in 2nd hell .. kidnapped cunt lipps really made me chuckle in hell 1 , i had to check to see i really read that there.. but yes i hope writer continues but with an editor ... and for the comments about her being a whore , it seems you need to be reading stories at nickalodeon not lit erot ica...
people can be sluts , cucks , wimps , whores or cheaters
here , its literotica.. if you need happy and perfect love or marriage , try romance or first time catagories..
Poor Hedgehog
@ cindylynn34 You are wrong, because in LW in the BTB stories are happy ex husbands who changed his cheating ex wife to better girlfriends wives and I am fan of such stories! (Generally above 4.0 avarage point.............)
The male hedgehog exclaimed, "To make mistakes is human characterestic!"
And the hedgehog climed down from the mop brush.
I agree with @cindylynn34...
I agree with @cindylynn34...Here people can be sluts , cucks , wimps , whores or cheaters!!! What we differ is that here we can comment accepting it or not...Our comments being against will not change what was said before about people can be what they want...2*
Even with a so called editor, it was almost unreadable.
You just need to use two keyboard entries to improve this story . . .,
hit Select All, then hit Delete. Thank You.
Then, learn to write in the English language.
An annoying, interfering number of errors....
in spelling, grammar, number, person and sentence structure, made this already depressing story an uncomfortable read.
Whether I like your story or not, you owe it to yourself respect to put enough editorial effort into it to clean up the mess tThat usually comes to a piece as it's written.
For better or worse, once you release it...it represents you in this space.
So, do you like the idea of appearing a complete slob and a careless and indifferent writer?
Probably not, but one cannot tell much else from the state of your piece.
Please, take the time to make it as smooth as a great 50 year old single malt scotch.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Journey to Hell Ch. 02 or
More submissions by Redhood.