Thanks for the positive feedback to this intro chapter!
I just submitted Chap 2, a direct continuation where this one stopped. It should be up within a day or two.
by
Anonymous01/27/15
I had similar experience
My n came in lived with me in la cal. Well she would disappear for at least a hour at a time I asked her Mary what is going on she said she needed to releve stress she say inky I was relasing stress by getting a orgasum in the shower. Well to say she was stress free from that day on she loved to explode in my mouth or my cock. She is a screamer. Miss Mary she is married an living Paris now to a wonderful guy..
Niecey and Mike are a great couple. Their story is going to be great, judging by this first chapter. Congratulations.
by
Anonymous01/28/15
Drop the unnecessary political bullshit about strong women and oppression and shit in the beginning/in the story (wouldn't know didn't read) and this may be readable.
by
Anonymous01/28/15
".....and this may be readable" (JOKE)
This is an awesome story, well paced and hot. No idea what the comment about "......and this may be readable" means. Are we reading the same story?
Apparently Mike and Denise (Niecey is a cute nickname, but needs less usage) have had a growing awareness and attraction for quite some time. This should have been brought out better to make the love equal to the sex. She is not a virgin, and is a self confident young woman in some ways, but there is nothing to show she has the sexual experience she exhibits in coming on to Mike. A little hesitancy would have been expected, and he would not have been so quick on the uptake either. More development would have made the relationship more meaningful.
A girl got to name her sister's twins. When asked what she named the girl, she said, "Denise". When asked what she named the boy, she replied, "Denephew". Well, I never said it was a GOOD joke. ;-)
This, however, was a great beginning to the story. I so want to be Niecey's uncle!
Boing!
More please!
This is a very fine piece of writing.
Almost devoid of the usual Lit clichés. Inspired, and you've obviously worked hard on it. You more than deserve my five.
Excellent
Wonderful start and can't wait for more of what you described as a multi chapter series.
Thanks! There's more on the way.
Thanks for the positive feedback to this intro chapter!
I just submitted Chap 2, a direct continuation where this one stopped. It should be up within a day or two.
I had similar experience
My n came in lived with me in la cal. Well she would disappear for at least a hour at a time I asked her Mary what is going on she said she needed to releve stress she say inky I was relasing stress by getting a orgasum in the shower. Well to say she was stress free from that day on she loved to explode in my mouth or my cock. She is a screamer. Miss Mary she is married an living Paris now to a wonderful guy..
An Excellent Start
Niecey and Mike are a great couple. Their story is going to be great, judging by this first chapter. Congratulations.
Drop the unnecessary political bullshit about strong women and oppression and shit in the beginning/in the story (wouldn't know didn't read) and this may be readable.
".....and this may be readable" (JOKE)
This is an awesome story, well paced and hot. No idea what the comment about "......and this may be readable" means. Are we reading the same story?
Fantastic
Great story, you have the wonderful beginning of a beautiful uncle / niece affair, can't wait for chapter 2. 5 Stars. Thanks.
Too Quick
Apparently Mike and Denise (Niecey is a cute nickname, but needs less usage) have had a growing awareness and attraction for quite some time. This should have been brought out better to make the love equal to the sex. She is not a virgin, and is a self confident young woman in some ways, but there is nothing to show she has the sexual experience she exhibits in coming on to Mike. A little hesitancy would have been expected, and he would not have been so quick on the uptake either. More development would have made the relationship more meaningful.
I am reminded of the old joke...
A girl got to name her sister's twins. When asked what she named the girl, she said, "Denise". When asked what she named the boy, she replied, "Denephew". Well, I never said it was a GOOD joke. ;-)
This, however, was a great beginning to the story. I so want to be Niecey's uncle!
Erotic Artistry
Ever inventive in mis en scene and new ways to describe the oldest act. Beautiful.
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