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English
Very stilted............
If English is not your mother tongue I can understand, but otherwise it is VERY stilted and difficult to read, therefore hard to enjoy.....the concept is a good one, and it will be interesting to watch her descent into complete submission, especially when hubby gets home, but please get a proofreader!!
a hot story
really good until again the husband had been run down. I can't understand you authors why you think this makes a story better. for me it made a top story a 1 star story because there is no fun to see in the future, only shit.
sorry but your down to zero
wrong section?
I am not really sure why this was posted in the "Mind Control" area. I didn't really see any mind control in the story. And, I agree with the others. It needed some proof reading. Mistakes made it hard to read.
Has Potential; Needs More
While I thought Paula's sinking to infidelity with John came a little too quickly and without any real resistance, I liked the general concept of a mature, experienced, sexy woman leading a younger,more naive one into a world of more daring and kinky sex. As the title indicates, Paula is submissive by nature, and thereby, more susceptible to Blanche's manipulations. I would love to see a continuation of the story, perhaps with Blanche using her wiles on Paula's husband for her own enjoyment, and maybe bringing out a heretofore unseen dominant side of Paula in relation to her husband.
More please!
Hot story!
Meh
Story was typical. Please proofread. It's like you had written it in a different language then used some sort of online translator to transfer it into English.
Thanks for writing
The premise is really good...older woman influencing an impressionable younger woman. It'd make for better storytelling if scenes were fleshed out, but this worked. Hope to see more from you!
More please
You had me shivering with arousal. I love the situation were a older woman educates a young lady in the art of sex, the story could have been fleshed out in places, but you had me hard and leaking. More of these situation please.
Loved every word.
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