Contrast Ch. 04

This series leaves me breathless

This has to be one of the best stories I've read on Lit and from my personal library at home. I found myself thinking and reading with bated breath while Jenice was standing at the intersection to meet Dan: "please do not let her be hit by a passing car, PLEASE do not die!" Whew, I found myself truly invested in the story and the emotions of both characters. I am Team Dan & Jenice all of the way- "Danjen" because "Danice" removes his masculine form entirely. IanSaulWhitcomb, you are among my Top Five Faves!

Dude....EPILOGUE...yes!

You could tell she really loved him when his mom died. Kinda wished they would've said it then, but it was so funny when he found his book. Winning.

I'll give you five stars, if you give us an epilogue 😉

*****

Five.

I felt like something was missing at the end. I felt more emotions from all of their sex sessions than what they were feeling at dinner. But they did have sex for a year without knowing each others names so I guess it adds to their weird relationship.

five.

YES!!!! this was awesome!!

Just amazing. I've been coming to this site for years and this is the first time I ever checked daily to see if the next installment in the series was posted. This is probably a little esoteric on my part, as a white man who writes for a living who has a serious thing for black women who look like Jenice, but the way it ended was just the best of all. Great job on this series.

ITS OFFICIAL

I FUCKING LOVE YOU

More!!

Absolutely love it. I agree this was this first series on here I was actually checking daily to see if the next installment was out. Please do a follow up series.

Fantabulous! 👍👍👍👍

Please forgive me for I'm about to babble. Fantastic! Marvelous! Touching and romantic to boot. This is platinum stuff. Stunning writing, original story line, realistic characters and crazy/sexy/cool (& plentiful) sex. Awesome editing too! Should you decide to publish this gem, I'll wait in line to buy your book and pay loads of money for it. Lol I'll continue to be a devoted fan. Please take a bow/curtsy -- I wholeheartedly and giddily applaud you. ❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏

oh my goodness!

Loved it, this was amazing!! This ending was perfect!

I have to admit

I was quite concerned that ending this wonderful story that you'd built up so amazingly this soon, would feel rushed, but you proved me wrong! This was indeed perfect, I love these two. You get all the stars and I wish I could give you more ;-D

Thank you, one and all!

@Tallygirl1: What about Jendan? That way she comes first. ; )

@fawnsage: Blackmail, eh? Be careful what you wish for ...

@Anonymous (*****): : )

@ariesgirl: Sorry to hear it let you down. I'll look at that carefully on my next draft. Maybe I can get a little more emotion in along with the tension they feel during dinner.

@Khamalani: Thanks!

@Anonymous (Just amazing): I'm really glad it worked so well for you!

@D3licious: [GIANT HAPPY FACE EMOTICON!]

@airgod: I have several projects on my plate right now, but I do really like these two, so if any ideas pop into my head, I might get back to them at some point in the future ...

@Cherrypeach: So glad you liked it! I think Literotica rules forbid me to do anything that might sound like promotion of commercial materials, so I won't comment one way or another about publishing plans here. However, I doubt it will come as news that pretty much any writer would love to be paid loads of money!

@MyaHunter: Thank you!

@EroticLitKitty: My initial draft was slightly shorter than what I posted here. You can thank DonnaBeck for encouraging me to flesh the very ending out a bit more. I'm happy you liked it so much!

A little more foreshadowing please

I enjoyed the story, the characters, and the ending.
My only complaint was that there was no foreshadowing about Dan being a writer, or about Jenice feeling that one author had such a major impact on her life. As the unspoken thoughts of both major characters were shared with the reader on several occasions, it should have been possible to introduce those ideas before part four of four.
However, please do not take this as rain on your parade. I still rate the story five stars.

fantabulous

That was so perfect. I was on the edge of my seat...full of tension from the whole will they or won't they moments. Loved every minute.

Amazingly Awesome Story!

I loved the way this story started and I loved the way it ended. I am sad about it, but happy it ended happily. You deserve more than 5 stars!!
Would it be too much to ask, for a Dan and Jenise 5 years later epilogue?
You have a new fan in me!

Okay, that was so cute that Dan is literally Jenice's dream man!!!!! They have a whoooooooooole lot of talking to do. I'm sure they know more about each other than they realized or cared to admit, they were just lack formalities. Amazing story!! Epilogue maybe!??

awwww

Shit now I'm disappointed its over. Loved the relationship you built between these two great characters. And the tonnes of sex just seemed to perfectly fit into the whole story without making it seem too much. One of my absolute favourite stories, I will definitely be reading anything else you write.

Medicine for the soul

IANSAULWHITCOMB first off....I love 'your' name. Second I am such a fan. Unable to sleep do to the flu I started reading your last chapter. I love how it flowed. It reads like poetry...soft....smooth. ...satisfying. I like when a story starts off in an unusual way and ends in a way you don't expect. I did expect they would get together, but the way you wrote it was so creative that it seemed new. I think you are an amazing talent and look forward to reading you again. I have only two favorite authors on this site and you are one of them. I hope you don't mind but every time someone expresses a distaste for my work...I site yours as an obvious choice as I don't see how they could be disappointed. I am a total weirdo when it comes to writing...no one sees...no one touches....never considered a collaboration in my life. I would consider it with you. ? Thanks....Five stars....freegirl2012

More Thank-You's!

@Deep Soaker: I agree with you about the foreshadowing. There is a passing line in Chapter 1 about his writing, but it's a lot of words between that one line and the finale, and I'll try to drop a reminder in when redrafting, as well as find a way to mention her reading habits.

@kuriouskale: I always like hearing that people were on the edge of their seats!

@KittyOh48 and TooMuchEnnui: People keep saying they want to hear more, so I'll probably try to do a followup at some point. Actually, I already wrote a half-serious/half-joking epilogue, but it's only 175 words and Literotica's minimum is 750. If you stop by again and see this, scroll down for the epiloguette!

@Anonymous (awwww): I didn't quite pull off my goal of writing a love story that consisted entirely of sex scenes, which was what I kind of had in mind at the start. But I'm glad to hear that I mostly managed to walk the right line.

@freegirl2012: So sorry you're under the weather! I hope you feel better soon. As for collaboration ... I've never done that either. Well, not with another writer; I wrote some comic book scripts a long time ago and had the interesting experience of seeing my ideas and descriptions transformed (sometimes drastically) in the illustration process. I'll have to meditate on the idea of a written teamup. But I definitely feel honored at the suggestion!

Contrast - Epiloguette!

Them

“Nngghh! Dan – oh god –”

“That’s it, Jenice, come on ... come on, so close, honey ...”

“Uhhhh, FUCK!”

“Almost there ...”

“Shit, fuck – AAH, Aaah, Dan!”

“Yes, baby, you’re doing it, you’re so beautiful ...”

“Uahh ... Guhh ...”

“AAAAAAAHHH!”

“hhhh ... ohhh ... uhhh ...”

“That’s it, sweetie. You did it.”

“AAAAAAAHHH – AAAH!!”

“Well, congratulations, you two. This one’s a girl.”

“uhaha ... oh ... and ... that’s all, right? No more in there? Coz I am ... so done with this shit. Oh my god.”

“And do you have names for them yet?”

“Names? Fuck. Well, um, names aren’t really ... our thing. We’re kind of last-minute about them.”

“Perfectly all right. Don’t worry – there’s plenty of time. Are you ready to hold them?”

“Yes ... whew ...”

“Hell, yes!”

“Here you go, then. One for you ... and one for you.”

“Holy shit. Can you believe we really did this?”

“Not really.”

“They’re perfect.”

“Mm-hmm. I love you.”

“I love you too. You forgetting something, though?”

“Oh ... haha. Bitch.”

Definitely one of the best I have read, so I am sad to see it is over. And that twist with the book was sweet. 5 STARS!

Is it weird that I'm crying?

@r0uge: Thanks! I'm not sure what I'll be working on next, but comments like yours make me want to get to it soon.

@Anonymous (Is it weird ...): Only if you think it's weird to give an author one of the best compliments he can ever receive! That response is what I dream of almost every time I sit down to write. Thank you!

Keep rereading

The line about his only being in love with her for 11 and 1/2 mths... It made my tummy jump. I keep rereading it over and over. I can't believe their story's come to an end. Say it isn't so. I want to be a fly on their wall, or even better a fly on their no-wall because I'd love to see them navigate the world together.
I have to say, as a Black woman, I was put off by Janice's dialogue at first, but you redeemed yourself by making it part of her schtick, a joke she was playing to keep her distance and hide herself in plain sight.
Anyway, I've never bothered to write a comment, even though there are other good writers here, but I've developed a tremendous crush on Dan and, perhaps, even his creator. I'm compelled. Well done!
PS thx for not making his "size" a plot point. That always makes me think a 16 year old with a complex is writing. Bravo.

Omg 😍

I love this story so much. I was a little thrown off by Jenices attitude but based on the sex her and Dan were having I fell in love with the story. The shower scene was my fave and the ending was soooo perfect. Please continue to write more! Very realistic too such an amazing job :)

@Anonymous (Keep rereading)

As a writer, I say goodbye to each story when I think it's reached the end. But I don't usually say goodbye to characters, because if I've done it right, readers should love the characters, and it's hard to pull that off without loving them myself. So if the right new story idea comes along for Dan and Jenice, I'll be delighted to spend some more time with them.

I'm sure Dan would be flattered by your crush ... though I'm not sure Jenice would take it as well! Ditto for me and my wife.

As for sizes, I'm not a fan of descriptions that feature inch measurements or bra cup sizes. I'm sure they work well for some people, but they're just not my thing. I'd rather say something is large or small and let the reader decide how that fits with their personal preferences. After all, one person's mouth-wateringly large may be another person's ridiculously oversized.

Thanks for writing!

@Anonymous (Omg)

The shower scene was one of my favorites too. I'll definitely be writing more stories, though probably not in the next few weeks. Thanks for all the kind words!

wonderful characterization

really well done

Thanks, RioRedKing!

I really enjoyed writing these characters, so I'm glad you appreciated them!

Good story

I really enjoyed this story.

Loved this

I enjoyed every chapter and look forward to you're next work. although I also blame you for increasing my need to claim a white boy like Jenice did lol.

More thanks for the lovely comments

@gramsyr: Every person who likes my stories makes me feel a little bit better about the world, so thank you!

@Anonymous (Loved it): I just submitted a sci-fi story, but I'll warn you that it's very weird. Also, you have my best wishes for finding someone really nice to claim!

Wrapped up so nicely!

When I first started the story I didn't know where you were taking us...I just knew I liked the flow of the story...then you began to let us know what they were thinking about each other...how they developed feelings for each other and how nicely you ended it.
Kudos to you!

Thank you, blueexotica!

I took several stabs at the ending before I felt like I had it right, so I'm really glad to hear that it paid off for you! : )

Fanfuckingtabulous.....

Okay, so you compelled me to comment on your first story. Then I was about to get up from my desk and do some much needed work but I was drawn back to read "just one more"......and well, now here I am at the end having said "just one more" two more times. :) I have been so invested in the characters that I took the time after each story to read through ALL of the comments and even clicked on many of the bio's of your fans. In other words, I haven't wanted to get up and feel like this is finally ending. Although I didn't comment on chapters 2-3 I figured I would just wait until the end to leave my final comments.

The short version is simply wow..... To be more verbose though I was completely sucked into the characters. I desperately wanted them to become involved with their personal lives. I though when Dan's mother's passing was introduced that this would be the moment that would allow them to enter each other's lives via a serious life-moment that neither saw coming and thus avoid having them "cross the invisible line". I saw this opportunity as just that, an opportunity, and was surprised it didn't happen. I was, admittedly, slightly disappointed, but it was a fleeting disappointment, I assure you. It allowed the tension and build-up to remain in tact.

I will echo another's comment about the foreshadowing of Dan's author status and of Jenice's love of the author. It felt like you had grasped at the idea last minute and went with it rather than it being an ultimate goal in which you were slowly leading the characters. This is by no means a complain, I assure you. If somewhere along the way, references were made about him being a publisher/author then we might have begun to wonder if her love of a book or series of books could possibly be the tie-in that we all were hoping for. It would have conjured up ideas that possibly he was her fantasy author. Then we might have been left wondering if they were so close but yet so far. We might have pondered that if something were to happen between them that even though they were so close what a tragedy it would be if they never actually made the connection. Another level of tension would have been created within your readers. Lastly, on this topic, when he asked what her favorite scene in the book was, if she'd alluded to page 368, he could have interrupted with "oh, the meadow scene," which would have startled her and perhaps convinced her that he wasn't messing around with her and that he genuinely knew/loved the book. Then when he admitted to being the author it would have cemented in her mind that he might just be telling the truth. All of this should be taken with a grain of salt because, quite frankly, you did a perfect job as it is. These are mere ramblings from my mind. I guess what I'm trying to get across goes back to subtle foreshadowing and how powerful that can be in future works of yours. It always fun to take a seemingly unimportant bit of information from an earlier part of a story to an event later in the story to see how it all ties in and completes something special.

You are truly gifted and I will be reading your other works but not today as I have to actually get some work done!! :)

Best to you and your wife.

Thanks, Hookmeistr!

Wow! You write epic comments!

There's a smidge of foreshadowing in the first "Them" section of Ch. 01 ... just a brief mention that he had to put aside his current fantasy novel because she got him so sex-obsessed. But it clearly wasn't enough, since so many people felt the author/reader thing came in too conveniently at the last moment. I'll be going back to revise the whole thing for publication soon, so I'll be sure to fix that. I'm glad you took the time to add your voice to the others who felt the same. Good feedback is always made better when it's consistent across multiple sources, and you expressed it very well.

Sorry I delayed the work you needed to do! I hope you got caught up!

Many thanks for having so much to say and saying it so well!

o.o

oh wow i like this ... not too long and not too short, love the ending

@ladiebrowneyez

I'm glad it held up for you!

Perfect Vacation Story

I'm on my first vacation in two years and I've decided to spend it at home. I'm so happy to have found your story! It's well written, unpredictable, and panty wetting with a great twist. I've never been so happy being alone in bed. ;) Please keep writing!

@silverstar88

Happy vacation! I hope it provides all the rest and relaxation you need. I never tire of hearing that my stories have a physical effect on people, so thank you very much!