Excellently written. Had a simple straight forward plot that got right down to business. My only suggestion is to proof it a bit better. It was not terrible or distracting like some I've read here. The best was this "When my duck was done releasing my seed into her womb, I collapsed next to her." Your DUCK? I knew what you meant but couldn't help but laugh. That took a little away from the mood but I still gave you 5*'s. Keep up the good work.
by
Anonymous01/29/15
When my duck was done releasing my seed into her womb, I collapsed next to her.
But now you have learned that ultimately you the writer are responsible.
Technology is good, but spell-check will spell the wrong word perfectly for you, and it will never be embarrassed.
Good story!
Excellently written. Had a simple straight forward plot that got right down to business. My only suggestion is to proof it a bit better. It was not terrible or distracting like some I've read here. The best was this "When my duck was done releasing my seed into her womb, I collapsed next to her." Your DUCK? I knew what you meant but couldn't help but laugh. That took a little away from the mood but I still gave you 5*'s. Keep up the good work.
When my duck was done releasing my seed into her womb, I collapsed next to her.
Was it A rubber ducky
Was it...
...a geoduck?
good story
A story well told. Very arousing. I am still very hard. Will have to do something about it.
Yes, MY DUCK! Lol
I laughed at the duck, as well. Lol. This was my first submission. I'll definitely proof read better. Thanks for the positive input!
good job Ducky...
Very hot please keep writing you have the knack. I will have sweet wet dreams after reading this thank you.... Good detail they work well together...
pretty good for a first time
But now you have learned that ultimately you the writer are responsible.
Technology is good, but spell-check will spell the wrong word perfectly for you, and it will never be embarrassed.
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