I Am Jack's Life Ch. 08

Hmm

Guess I didn't realize this one was so short (I looks longer in Word ;p)

Glad these are coming out three at a time now, I would have felt as if I short changed you guys. Oh well.

Just remember, no one is perfect, especially not Jack. or me.

You're rockin' it, Finis

Fabulous work. I can see why publishers might have had a hard time picking it up, due to the nontraditional plot arc, and the narrator's temporal shifting. Don't let that discourage you from further writing: your craft is excellent. Thanks for bringing the LIT to literotica.

Nex

To lazy to login to post my comment, but you have a loyal reader here, I'm always trawling for interesting stories to keep up with and you've delivered so far, keep up the good work, personally I'd recommend posting less chapters but making them longer.

LONG FUN READ

I'm enjoying your work!

I am enjoying the story, the ride along with Jack, but there is more. Your writing takes me back to those heady days of high school and the fresh drama of everything that was going on around me. Of course then, in real life, I could only dream of being Jack, surrounded by cheerleaders and being the smartest kid in class. But, the story is still a fun ride so far.

I read all so far in one sitting.... this is good...very good

If context means everything, . . .

then give us the context before describing events that need context to understand what the events mean. If you had incorporated Anna's crush on Jack into previous chapters, then when she entered the room to join Jack and Kimmy for a threesome the readers would all understand how, why, and what the implications were. But you had to stop and backup, to explain the context. Stopping and backing up is what you do when you've missed the turn, made a mistake in getting where you are going. Its just as disturbing and disrupting in a story as it is in travel. Or more so. You might want to keep the context current and up to date so you don't have to go back and explain in this chapter why what happened happened in the last chapter. Just a thought.

I can appreciate the frustration...

...over Jack's rambling style of storytelling, and I appreciate you're caring enough to comment on it. :-)

However, as a writer, it's not always in my best interest to make everything perfectly clear as it happens. Consider if the viewer had all the context necessary to make sense of "Rosebud" in Citizen Kane. Would have made for a far less interesting movie. I'm certainly not comparing myself to that, only suggesting that obfuscation of key details is clearly necessary for tension in writing. The whole "who dunnit" mystery genre would be nothing without it.

While I understand some may find it jarring to have Jack constantly backing up, the passage of time is a deliberately used plot device in this story to create the atmosphere I was looking for. That includes backing up to flesh out elements as more detail becomes desirable.

Exposition is a delicate balance, and as this is basically an entire novel of exposition about who the mother of his child is, I took care on choosing when to reveal important details.

I hope you continue reading, but I warn you, there's more backing up still ahead. ;-)

i am jack's life

we are reading jack's life.
jack was unaware of the situation in regards to Anna & her crush / feelings for him.

sooo , if that had been made apparent in an earlier chapter , the point of view / angle of the story would have been dramaticaly changed ..

in reading the story , We are Living Jack's life ....
from his Angle , from his Viewpoint..
to make the reader Aware of things before Jack is .
would totaly ruin what the Author has accompished

xxxhugsxxx

Jack is Surprised to learn of Anna's feelings ..
so therefore the reader needs to be surprised by Anna's feelings

one thought at a time

barely

OK, it is time to be asking some questions

who is Jack's wife?

That one of their daughter's is named Kimmie is interesting.

Who is the mother of Liz? Why doesn't Liz live with her mother?

Interesting Problem

Not clear why it is not a three way division of guilt.... In reply to those who wanted context I would say that Jack is telling it as it happened and that was the moment when he became aware of Anna's interest.