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English
YES...
I can see this story continuing. Kate, Michel, and only the author knows who else could join and please the Boss. Hope you keep it rolling.
Well done
A very well put together story started slowly and I'm interested at see what your coming up with in Part II
This made me laugh...
noun, Anatomy
1. a fold of mucous membrane partly closing the external orifice of the vagina in a virgin.
Since Andrea was not a virgin this made no sense. Still, the premise was cute and I applaud your effort.
Wrong choice of words.
After looking up the thing about the hymen, I kinda get what the problem was. So, yeah, horrible, HORRIBLE choice of words. Anywho, I appreciate these kinds of comments. It helps for future reference.
Try Again
Maybe try rewriting this... in English!
Erroneous?
". . .pulsating with erroneous heat." An actual phrase used in your story. Spellcheck on your computer is no substitute for a human editor.
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