I enjoy this story immensely and am looking forward to reading further. The world here is a nice one to retreat into—I like the characters, the way you have drawn them so skillfully, the pacing and now the style of their lovemaking (viz., the slow teasing and buildup). I enjoy the lighthearted humor that is a frequent part of your style.
In this chapter, we see the vulnerabilities and insecurities of Tracy and Wm. emerge in their own private experience as seen through just through their own worries while showing us how the other perceives and feels. It makes things balance, make sense and seem real.
Upon reflection, I enjoy thinking that William’s OCD has probably predisposed him to want to slow input from the world down to maintain the sense of order and this very thing may helped him see the value of “patience”, as he puts it, when communicating pleasure. It’s a wonderful touch.
On another matter, I like which flowers Tracy has along her string of tattoos—different flowers than I would have, for instance—but ones that reveal her tastes and aesthetic.
Finally, the arrangement gift was superb! Wonderful story by a gifted author.
I vote from time to time, I comment here and there, but usually wait until the end to comment unless someone else's comments motivate me to respond, but...
Wow.
I love the story within a story, you write very well, your characters are real, and have depth. I have been reading romance novels for about thirty five years, and erotica for 15 or so, and William's exploration of Tracy's tattoos is probably the most erotic passage I have ever read. The rest of their sexual communion was very good, but that part centering on her tattoos was... intense and beautiful.
There is a difference in your writing. I enjoy several writers here on this forum, but I usually skip over the sex as being uninspired and it turns me off. But your writing flows naturally and I feel as though I am experiencing it myself. I do not mean physically, I mean emotionally. Just very good writing. I enjoyed both of your of your novellas immensely. Thank you
by
Anonymous02/08/15
William's Strength
I enjoy William using his strength to give Tracy so much room...
I enjoyed that face sitting, I think it was very well done.
About the control, maybe s. o. should tell you the secret :you got to control your pulse through your breath.
I love the story's pace, leisurely then not, reflecting so well the actual pace of an RL encounter. I love the characters - you've truly succeeded in making them real. And William, oh my.
The one thing that's slightly disconcerting is the shifting POV between the two of them, which lets you express both her and his inner thoughts. But that's a writerly non-no, no? ;-) It doesn't come off as third person omniscient. However, it didn't bother me as much as it might have - the story is carrying the day.
Quite a sexy story. I also feel very comfortable with these two. I must remind myself never to argue with a womans dating logic, that was sexy thinking. Its nice to feel like a voyeur in there love making, I hope that's not creepy.
Flower girl is such a nicely paced storie, pleanty of ordinary and beliveable detail that makes this a luxuriously readable tail.
Did I say I really like your story, Thank You.
While the writing in "Flower Girl" remains high level and the characters are beautifully described, I don't feel connected to any of them. There doesn't seem to be as much substance here as there was in "Subway Girl" and the story seems to have already ran its course.
I'm very tempted to skip the rest of this story and proceed to "Runner Girl", but I feel as though that would be disrespectful. In an odd way I'm much more invested in Tracey's novel then the actual storyline here. It could be the mystery and sadnesse that's intrinsic to Vera and Andy's relationship, but I think those characters also feel more real to me.
English
Wow!,
The love scene is tastefully done.
Thank you for your talent. I cannot wait to read more.
i agree with l_r
DB, you are a masterful artist at describing quality romantic eroticism. Within the context of the characters of Tracy and William.
Intense
Amazingly intense love scene.... wish the other 5 chapters maintain the intensity..
WOW!
Where do begin to praise your art? Five is to low a score where this reader is concerned!
Bravo
I remain in your debt.
Wonderful story, well told!
I enjoy this story immensely and am looking forward to reading further. The world here is a nice one to retreat into—I like the characters, the way you have drawn them so skillfully, the pacing and now the style of their lovemaking (viz., the slow teasing and buildup). I enjoy the lighthearted humor that is a frequent part of your style.
In this chapter, we see the vulnerabilities and insecurities of Tracy and Wm. emerge in their own private experience as seen through just through their own worries while showing us how the other perceives and feels. It makes things balance, make sense and seem real.
Upon reflection, I enjoy thinking that William’s OCD has probably predisposed him to want to slow input from the world down to maintain the sense of order and this very thing may helped him see the value of “patience”, as he puts it, when communicating pleasure. It’s a wonderful touch.
On another matter, I like which flowers Tracy has along her string of tattoos—different flowers than I would have, for instance—but ones that reveal her tastes and aesthetic.
Finally, the arrangement gift was superb! Wonderful story by a gifted author.
Just simply, wow.
I vote from time to time, I comment here and there, but usually wait until the end to comment unless someone else's comments motivate me to respond, but...
Wow.
I love the story within a story, you write very well, your characters are real, and have depth. I have been reading romance novels for about thirty five years, and erotica for 15 or so, and William's exploration of Tracy's tattoos is probably the most erotic passage I have ever read. The rest of their sexual communion was very good, but that part centering on her tattoos was... intense and beautiful.
A difference
There is a difference in your writing. I enjoy several writers here on this forum, but I usually skip over the sex as being uninspired and it turns me off. But your writing flows naturally and I feel as though I am experiencing it myself. I do not mean physically, I mean emotionally. Just very good writing. I enjoyed both of your of your novellas immensely. Thank you
William's Strength
I enjoy William using his strength to give Tracy so much room...
I enjoyed that face sitting, I think it was very well done.
About the control, maybe s. o. should tell you the secret :you got to control your pulse through your breath.
Love it
I love the story's pace, leisurely then not, reflecting so well the actual pace of an RL encounter. I love the characters - you've truly succeeded in making them real. And William, oh my.
The one thing that's slightly disconcerting is the shifting POV between the two of them, which lets you express both her and his inner thoughts. But that's a writerly non-no, no? ;-) It doesn't come off as third person omniscient. However, it didn't bother me as much as it might have - the story is carrying the day.
Damn
Wonderful writing. So very sexy.
Beautifully written and very hot story. Thanks.++
Exceptional passion!
It reads like you were using a Sybian on low boil while writing the sex scenes in this chapter!
Absolutely loved it.
Smooth and Exciting
They are both unusual people and they are blending nicely.
Page one, home run.
Quite a sexy story. I also feel very comfortable with these two. I must remind myself never to argue with a womans dating logic, that was sexy thinking. Its nice to feel like a voyeur in there love making, I hope that's not creepy.
Flower girl is such a nicely paced storie, pleanty of ordinary and beliveable detail that makes this a luxuriously readable tail.
Did I say I really like your story, Thank You.
I just looked ahead. Six more chapters. Four other stories in your submissions, and two longer ones . I will have to bookmark.
Flower Girl
While the writing in "Flower Girl" remains high level and the characters are beautifully described, I don't feel connected to any of them. There doesn't seem to be as much substance here as there was in "Subway Girl" and the story seems to have already ran its course.
I'm very tempted to skip the rest of this story and proceed to "Runner Girl", but I feel as though that would be disrespectful. In an odd way I'm much more invested in Tracey's novel then the actual storyline here. It could be the mystery and sadnesse that's intrinsic to Vera and Andy's relationship, but I think those characters also feel more real to me.
Thank you for sharing this story with us.
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