I haven't like your stuff lately so this was a nice surprise. I thought that the humor was a pleasant change from the usual carnage.
I do wonder about Errol and Marie. He either knows that she was present and doesn't care, which is hard to believe, or he has a surpise in his future.
And to the Anon compaining about dialog: I agree that almost no one would talk to a priest or minister that way. But almost no one discovered his spanking new bride just screwed someone on the way to the alter. I doubt a 'husband' in that situation would behave 'normally'.
that was fun. I'm glad the bride's maid got the guy. Now the 'would be' bride can see what she missed every time they got together. Oh what a great payback!
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Meh
I guess some people will enjoy this because it's full of anger, revenge, and violence. Personally I find no eroticism in any of those things. And the writing is just blah.
This woman(?) doesn't seem to have enough brain cells to breath and walk upright at the same time, let alone be a sentient being!
Having said that, I don't know if Marie deserves Errol, either. If she was a true friend she would have beaten Dave about the head and shoulders with the heaviest object she could find.
Also, why DID Errol insist on inviting Dave? If a bride doesn't want her ex-boyfriend at her wedding, any rational groom would respect her wishes!
by
Anonymous02/03/15
You need to find a new gig.
This was god-awful! He marries the slut that tells the other slut there isn't enough time to suck and fuck a guy before her wedding? This is not an ending. It is a continuation of insanity and stupidity.
I didn't like the original story; FTDS did a great job rectifying the original situation. Bride-not and Dave deserve each other.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Just plain dumb
Why is that the innocent husband always has a sixth sense that can taste cum or know what it smells like? The first story sucked. And your unoriginal ending was pointless.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
I can see
Some just don't get it:
Groom invited ex-boyfriend to probably show of that she is his now, only it gave home proof that she wasn't worth it (last temptation as it was.)
Maid of honor plaid her cards; figuring she would have a shot when she took off after the groom - not really a slut, just took a gamble on not voicing the affair and, letting the groom find out on his own.
Unfortunately, you have to read between the lines to come to that understanding and, that is why some just don't and won't get it; they need it spelled out for them.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Certainly enjoyed FTDS's perspective.
Well done and keep them coming.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
No, I'm sorry.
I know this is just supposed to be a fun little thing but come on, it still has to be at least a LITTLE believable. So many holes for such a short piece. I'm wondering if you even proofread it.
In the very beginning, after the preacher says they're man and wife, she calls her husband her fiance'. Then later she says he's still her husband but by that time he's getting re-married? Did he not get an annulment?
Then there's the bit about him getting on his knees and the dress. Why would she be relieved when he got on his knees? Then she stands still in front of the whole audience while he fumbles with her wedding gown, trying to get through all the layers to get to her panties? And under all that her father sees David's cum running down her leg? Have you ever seen a woman's wedding gown? Totally rediculous!
No, I'm sorry but this was far from good work and nowhere up to your standards.
Did you not notice that she is both bat shit crazy and a mental midget?
Lifting her gown?
No problem, grooms usually do just that for the tradition of removing the bride's garter.
Get to her panties?
There was no mention of the slut wearing panties.
(I call it as I see it, and a woman who would walk down the aisle at her wedding with anyone but her groom's semen dripping down her leg meets my definition of slut)
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Obvious but funny none the less.
Good quick hitter. I think I read the original or another story that had this happening. The bride walking up the aisle after just getting fucked. I wondered if her husband to be couldn't recognize the "just fucked" look on her face or smell the sex. Well done FTDS.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Short and sweet
Direct and to the point, a good little piece. 4 stars from me.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Did someonee call this lazy? Absurd.
Hilarious and brilliantly scripted piece from ftds. I'm not a huge fan, but could become one if he continues in this vein. 5*
The author exaggerated the cheating bride's sense of entitlement.But not by much. Very short in the telling but I personally saw all I wanted or needed of this woman's scewed and screwed & screwed POV..NO reflection, though on overall quality writing.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Cute, thanks. But . . .
there are so many more interesting stories that need your finishing touch. I can see this was a quick farce for you. Now, please, address some of the seriously interesting stories left out there that some half-assed author abandoned.
We need you.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
I'll never understand...
...the point of finishing these stories.
Is it the adulation you receive from the virtual high-fivers in the He-Man Woman Haters Club? Or is it simply the fact that sloppily adding a BTB ending to every cuck story is just so damned easy?
takes on a new stance with this look. TK U MLJ LV NV
by
Anonymous02/03/15
Is this really a story that needed to be finished?
To see the background, I used the link to the original story. While not (to use a really old phrase) cup of tea, it seemed pretty finished to my, at least from the original writer's POV.
Yeah, kgardner didn't write any consequences for he actions, but that doesn't mean kgardner wasn't finished with the story. This has nothing to do with whether I like or don't like the story because of this omission. Having her get away with it IS a finish.
While your ending is more along the lines of my personal preferences, rather than finishing that didn't have a conclusion, you just didn't like the conclusion and decided to negate kgardner's intentions.
Commenting negatively on the original story, giving it a poor rating is well within your rights. Basically taking another's work and giving it an ending the originator didn't write is another.
by
Anonymous02/03/15
re: anonymous-I'll never understand
What is there to understand? There are so many stories posted in loving wives that need closure, especially the chuck ones. Easy? If it was so easy to write stories, why aren't you writing them instead of knocking those that do? I enjoy most of the stories written, especially the ones that somebody like FTDS finishes. Are all of these masterpieces, of course not, but given the 80% of trash posted daily in loving wives, most of this authors stories far exceed those. Well it doesn't really matter, there will always be the doubters, the moaners and the groaners. Such is life. (ML) 4*
by
Anonymous02/03/15
I just read
a story of ftds a few days ago where he reunited a couple, instead of BTB.
Someone needs to appologize for their little rant...they did state " all the time"
by
Anonymous02/03/15
It cracked me up!
The magic moment at the altar, the confused priest, the mother's vicious slap of the bride/slut -- all very good. The bridesmaid sprinting barefoot after the groom and the delusional rantings of the ex bride were priceless.
The trouble with these "Dumb Wife" stories is that there are so many of them and there is no real loss when the husband dumps Dumbo the whore. The more interesting stories are the ones where the wife is intelligent, and either out of some aberration or by cold blooded decision - she cheats. Some otherwise smart women do something stupid like get drunk and fucked. Some; bored and resentful of their lives and families want to be the starring role in the romantic tale of the most desirable whore and the men that want her. Even though they may be intelligent their egoism exceeds their brainpower and common sense. In these stories, at one time the husband had someone worth being married to, not some mentally challenged vagina. This adds value to the marriage and greater loss to the divorce.
I remember this story...And how I commented how she was a whore...so this ending brings justice to the story...After all she was a whore, but a demented one, for still think she was married....
by
Anonymous02/03/15
More entertaining than most stories in any category.
A stupid character that was actually intended to be stupid and not just a victim of weak writing. Everyone's reactions were spot on. Especially loved the NOT STUPID bridesmaid wasting no time. You go girl!
Unlike the fiancee I'm the story,whose quickie wasn't funny. You could also read into it Marie let her self destruct to get errol....the only thin is, why would errol go with Marie,a hubby betrayed on his wedding day would be turned of all women for a while,let alone the (likely) slutty maid of honor...but overall a funny answer
to the original.
by
Anonymous02/04/15
Can anyone be that dumb
Another dumb wife story.
by
Anonymous02/04/15
good story
I particularly enjoyed her refusal to accept responsibility for her choices
This was a tremendous finish to a lousy tale. Two comments:
This could easily have been in the Humor category and, in a risk to my future mortality. only the cuckolds out there could have an objection to this post.
One answer to the original story, but the bit about hooking up with Marie is unrealistic.
But the underlying thought is that it was a pleasant read for the BTB tribe...
Great flash ending to a stupid original. Why do they always say "It isn't what it looks like!" when it's EXACTLY what it looks like? It's amazing that some of the more militant wannabe bulls haven't come on here already to rage against Hubby acting "unreasonably" or like a "misogynist" yet. I think they're more pissed off because the wannabe bulls in the tale end up with their nuts kicked up into their throats. Yeah, those 'tards always crack me up. :D
Keep writing, FTDS! I'd still like to see your take on "The Neglected Wife's Revenge" by baddad53.
while Karen was being screwed. I wish Marie had run down the wedding party as fast as she did after the ceremony to grab Errol, one or both parents, or the groomsmen, declaring an emergency that needed their immediate assistance.
by
Anonymous02/05/15
awsum ending
Hahaha it's good to see that there are atleast real men around who wouldn't take shit from cheating Retards keep it up show the world women should get what they deserve
I guess with Errol love was blind. He was in denial till he tasted Dave's cum...that was funny.
by
Anonymous02/06/15
If you can do part two please
by
Anonymous02/07/15
Dialogue was stilted, not funny at all, it was rushed, you seem to have this NEED to finish others stories, yet you can't be bothered to actually put a lot of thought in to it.
A little abrupt, but funny. I've known a few that were about that bright and self centered. The story mother had it spot on: "Sometimes I'm amazed that you have the brains to walk and breathe at the same time."
by
Anonymous02/09/15
???
Not one of your best. Difficult to read and, even as fiction, she was dumber than a box of hammers.
by
Anonymous02/15/15
Short
Short and to the point. This author is begining to improve, imhop.
English
not good as some you have written, seemed rushed and blatant
it isn't a one page essay
Laughing
That was hilarious. Thanks.
Agree with Anonymous
Seems rushed. You've done much better.
Stilted
The dialogue is stilted and unrealistic. No one talks like Errol to the minister. Try taking a little time and care in your writing.
One of your better ones
I haven't like your stuff lately so this was a nice surprise. I thought that the humor was a pleasant change from the usual carnage.
I do wonder about Errol and Marie. He either knows that she was present and doesn't care, which is hard to believe, or he has a surpise in his future.
And to the Anon compaining about dialog: I agree that almost no one would talk to a priest or minister that way. But almost no one discovered his spanking new bride just screwed someone on the way to the alter. I doubt a 'husband' in that situation would behave 'normally'.
Yeah, I agree...
that was fun. I'm glad the bride's maid got the guy. Now the 'would be' bride can see what she missed every time they got together. Oh what a great payback!
Meh
I guess some people will enjoy this because it's full of anger, revenge, and violence. Personally I find no eroticism in any of those things. And the writing is just blah.
Brain Cells
This woman(?) doesn't seem to have enough brain cells to breath and walk upright at the same time, let alone be a sentient being!
Having said that, I don't know if Marie deserves Errol, either. If she was a true friend she would have beaten Dave about the head and shoulders with the heaviest object she could find.
Also, why DID Errol insist on inviting Dave? If a bride doesn't want her ex-boyfriend at her wedding, any rational groom would respect her wishes!
You need to find a new gig.
This was god-awful! He marries the slut that tells the other slut there isn't enough time to suck and fuck a guy before her wedding? This is not an ending. It is a continuation of insanity and stupidity.
Five star finish
I didn't like the original story; FTDS did a great job rectifying the original situation. Bride-not and Dave deserve each other.
Just plain dumb
Why is that the innocent husband always has a sixth sense that can taste cum or know what it smells like? The first story sucked. And your unoriginal ending was pointless.
I can see
Some just don't get it:
Groom invited ex-boyfriend to probably show of that she is his now, only it gave home proof that she wasn't worth it (last temptation as it was.)
Maid of honor plaid her cards; figuring she would have a shot when she took off after the groom - not really a slut, just took a gamble on not voicing the affair and, letting the groom find out on his own.
Unfortunately, you have to read between the lines to come to that understanding and, that is why some just don't and won't get it; they need it spelled out for them.
Certainly enjoyed FTDS's perspective.
Well done and keep them coming.
No, I'm sorry.
I know this is just supposed to be a fun little thing but come on, it still has to be at least a LITTLE believable. So many holes for such a short piece. I'm wondering if you even proofread it.
In the very beginning, after the preacher says they're man and wife, she calls her husband her fiance'. Then later she says he's still her husband but by that time he's getting re-married? Did he not get an annulment?
Then there's the bit about him getting on his knees and the dress. Why would she be relieved when he got on his knees? Then she stands still in front of the whole audience while he fumbles with her wedding gown, trying to get through all the layers to get to her panties? And under all that her father sees David's cum running down her leg? Have you ever seen a woman's wedding gown? Totally rediculous!
No, I'm sorry but this was far from good work and nowhere up to your standards.
2star
Too damn short to give it more
Back Off Annoyns,
Every writer has the right for to write a lazy story BTW three writes make a left .... Ask any NASCAR Driver
to the most recent anon.
Did you not notice that she is both bat shit crazy and a mental midget?
Lifting her gown?
No problem, grooms usually do just that for the tradition of removing the bride's garter.
Get to her panties?
There was no mention of the slut wearing panties.
(I call it as I see it, and a woman who would walk down the aisle at her wedding with anyone but her groom's semen dripping down her leg meets my definition of slut)
Obvious but funny none the less.
Good quick hitter. I think I read the original or another story that had this happening. The bride walking up the aisle after just getting fucked. I wondered if her husband to be couldn't recognize the "just fucked" look on her face or smell the sex. Well done FTDS.
Short and sweet
Direct and to the point, a good little piece. 4 stars from me.
Did someonee call this lazy? Absurd.
Hilarious and brilliantly scripted piece from ftds. I'm not a huge fan, but could become one if he continues in this vein. 5*
Too close to the truth for comfort !
The author exaggerated the cheating bride's sense of entitlement.But not by much. Very short in the telling but I personally saw all I wanted or needed of this woman's scewed and screwed & screwed POV..NO reflection, though on overall quality writing.
Cute, thanks. But . . .
there are so many more interesting stories that need your finishing touch. I can see this was a quick farce for you. Now, please, address some of the seriously interesting stories left out there that some half-assed author abandoned.
We need you.
I'll never understand...
...the point of finishing these stories.
Is it the adulation you receive from the virtual high-fivers in the He-Man Woman Haters Club? Or is it simply the fact that sloppily adding a BTB ending to every cuck story is just so damned easy?
THE SHOTGUN WEDDING
takes on a new stance with this look. TK U MLJ LV NV
Is this really a story that needed to be finished?
To see the background, I used the link to the original story. While not (to use a really old phrase) cup of tea, it seemed pretty finished to my, at least from the original writer's POV.
Yeah, kgardner didn't write any consequences for he actions, but that doesn't mean kgardner wasn't finished with the story. This has nothing to do with whether I like or don't like the story because of this omission. Having her get away with it IS a finish.
While your ending is more along the lines of my personal preferences, rather than finishing that didn't have a conclusion, you just didn't like the conclusion and decided to negate kgardner's intentions.
Commenting negatively on the original story, giving it a poor rating is well within your rights. Basically taking another's work and giving it an ending the originator didn't write is another.
re: anonymous-I'll never understand
What is there to understand? There are so many stories posted in loving wives that need closure, especially the chuck ones. Easy? If it was so easy to write stories, why aren't you writing them instead of knocking those that do? I enjoy most of the stories written, especially the ones that somebody like FTDS finishes. Are all of these masterpieces, of course not, but given the 80% of trash posted daily in loving wives, most of this authors stories far exceed those. Well it doesn't really matter, there will always be the doubters, the moaners and the groaners. Such is life. (ML) 4*
I just read
a story of ftds a few days ago where he reunited a couple, instead of BTB.
Someone needs to appologize for their little rant...they did state " all the time"
It cracked me up!
The magic moment at the altar, the confused priest, the mother's vicious slap of the bride/slut -- all very good. The bridesmaid sprinting barefoot after the groom and the delusional rantings of the ex bride were priceless.
Okay but
The trouble with these "Dumb Wife" stories is that there are so many of them and there is no real loss when the husband dumps Dumbo the whore. The more interesting stories are the ones where the wife is intelligent, and either out of some aberration or by cold blooded decision - she cheats. Some otherwise smart women do something stupid like get drunk and fucked. Some; bored and resentful of their lives and families want to be the starring role in the romantic tale of the most desirable whore and the men that want her. Even though they may be intelligent their egoism exceeds their brainpower and common sense. In these stories, at one time the husband had someone worth being married to, not some mentally challenged vagina. This adds value to the marriage and greater loss to the divorce.
I love FTDS's posts!
This one was well deserved and funny as hell! I can't wait for his next contribution to those who don't Finish The Damn Story!
I remember this story...
I remember this story...And how I commented how she was a whore...so this ending brings justice to the story...After all she was a whore, but a demented one, for still think she was married....
More entertaining than most stories in any category.
A stupid character that was actually intended to be stupid and not just a victim of weak writing. Everyone's reactions were spot on. Especially loved the NOT STUPID bridesmaid wasting no time. You go girl!
Another quality ending from FTDS.
Funny quickie
Unlike the fiancee I'm the story,whose quickie wasn't funny. You could also read into it Marie let her self destruct to get errol....the only thin is, why would errol go with Marie,a hubby betrayed on his wedding day would be turned of all women for a while,let alone the (likely) slutty maid of honor...but overall a funny answer
to the original.
Can anyone be that dumb
Another dumb wife story.
good story
I particularly enjoyed her refusal to accept responsibility for her choices
Hah
This was a tremendous finish to a lousy tale. Two comments:
This could easily have been in the Humor category and, in a risk to my future mortality. only the cuckolds out there could have an objection to this post.
Damn now I'm scared
Better
See above.
Amusing
One answer to the original story, but the bit about hooking up with Marie is unrealistic.
But the underlying thought is that it was a pleasant read for the BTB tribe...
Funny!
Great flash ending to a stupid original. Why do they always say "It isn't what it looks like!" when it's EXACTLY what it looks like? It's amazing that some of the more militant wannabe bulls haven't come on here already to rage against Hubby acting "unreasonably" or like a "misogynist" yet. I think they're more pissed off because the wannabe bulls in the tale end up with their nuts kicked up into their throats. Yeah, those 'tards always crack me up. :D
Keep writing, FTDS! I'd still like to see your take on "The Neglected Wife's Revenge" by baddad53.
5 Chuckling Stars.
Short and sweet!
Thanks for the read!
Instead of trying to put lipstick on a pig
while Karen was being screwed. I wish Marie had run down the wedding party as fast as she did after the ceremony to grab Errol, one or both parents, or the groomsmen, declaring an emergency that needed their immediate assistance.
awsum ending
Hahaha it's good to see that there are atleast real men around who wouldn't take shit from cheating Retards keep it up show the world women should get what they deserve
I guess with Errol love was blind. He was in denial till he tasted Dave's cum...that was funny.
If you can do part two please
Dialogue was stilted, not funny at all, it was rushed, you seem to have this NEED to finish others stories, yet you can't be bothered to actually put a lot of thought in to it.
Further Thoughts Re: Dave
Maybe he was a very good "friend" of Errol's?
Maybe Errol was trying to show that he was the bigger person by inviting his fiance's ex to the wedding?
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
A little abrupt, but funny. I've known a few that were about that bright and self centered. The story mother had it spot on: "Sometimes I'm amazed that you have the brains to walk and breathe at the same time."
???
Not one of your best. Difficult to read and, even as fiction, she was dumber than a box of hammers.
Short
Short and to the point. This author is begining to improve, imhop.
Hmm intersting and very good -
To the point he takes up with Marie whose main concern when the bride was about to cheat was ?? Not enough time?? no more morals than the slut had???
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