Losing My Virginity to My Sexy Aunt

Harsh, but honest critique:

Your style of writing is pronouncedly juvenile. That is to say, "inexperienced with writing, in general". Short, choppy sentences that convey some information, but aren't really descriptive. Like, "I was home. I heard my aunt arrive. I went downstairs and I let her inside..." We can follow the train of thought, but nobody is interested on being on such a boring "train". Then there's the clumsy way you introduced sex to the story. "Come upstairs, Aunt Wendy. Aunt Wendy, what does sex feel like?"

Sirens are now going off for anyone reading this story. "ABORT! ABORT! DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!"

Stick with reading stories here. Stay away from trying to write until, or unless, your writing improves.

You get one star, because your story ended too soon, after a fuck. You could haave taalked about more of what you planned.

No Criticism

No criticism - but get busy and write some more of this kind of stuff! Lots of guys have sexy relatives that we have fantasized about fucking so reading someone else's take on the subject is hot as fuck!

I once had an aunt that I fantasized about and never had the opportunity to see "unclothed" but you can fucking well bet there was lots of cum expended in fantasy fucking of good old Aunt Betty! Fuck! that woman was hot!

This was just bad.

Harsh or not it sounded like it was written by a 13 year old. *

While Jones was correct...he was also wrong.

Almost any story has merit, for the author decided to have it go out to the masses.

Don't quit, or bash yourself due to criticism....learn from it.

Keep writing, learn to embellish the story.

Thanks