Better fit would be fetish. Not forming actual dialogue can work, but it was awkward here. The goddess and relic stuff was too much in such a short piece. Instead of setting the tone, it sounds pretentious. Do try again.
by
Anonymous02/07/15
text dialogue?
I couldn't read this without it really irritating me. the poor english grammer and missing words makes reading really difficult as it doesn't flow.
i Didn't even finish the story.
its a shame
English
Better fit would be fetish. Not forming actual dialogue can work, but it was awkward here. The goddess and relic stuff was too much in such a short piece. Instead of setting the tone, it sounds pretentious. Do try again.
text dialogue?
I couldn't read this without it really irritating me. the poor english grammer and missing words makes reading really difficult as it doesn't flow.
i Didn't even finish the story.
its a shame
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