My First Blowjob

try proofreading for starters

Not a bad debut

I enjoyed the story, and your writing style is raw, but not unexpected for a first time author. You really rushed through this story. My advice is to slow down and let the narrative unfold naturally.

At least you had the courage to try, unlike the annony who left that last comment. Some people just can't help being assholes. Keep working on your writing.

thanks

Yes it's my first story, and you're right that I sort of rushed through it. I wrote it down on another website, Sat an hour max on it, and hit the submit button. The annony is right though, about the proof reading. I didn't write it on word, so it's bound to have some mistakes with grammar/spelling.

I'll take your advise in mind next time :)

Hot story!!

Congrats on your first submission! Thank you for sharing this very sexy story :-)

Great job!

Thanks also for sharing. Best submissions are those relating real experiences. Brave girl to want the first time to end in your mouth, but yes, any evidence is gone. Lucky workers! Looking forward to more of your submissions. The story and future stories could be enhanced by sharing a little more detail, male reader thing. Such as what did you think of the taste, was it as exciting as you thought it would be..

First time

Good first story.
Nice imagination
More detail needed