I liked it thought it was cute. I wish it was longer and sincerely hope you avoid the clichés. P.S. my favorite character is Olivia hope she's has a cool animal counterpart.
since she is a rare were(hey that rhymes kinda) then finding out about her parents should be easy.and wouldnt it suck if he was the wrong guy it was actually the girl next to him.hey they are from the gay coast.
This was my first post, so I wasn't sure how long the pages would end up being. This was a test run, and I definitely need to make the chapters longer, as my 5 or so pages on Word didn't even transfer to a second page here on literotica. I'll try to respond to criticism and comments as best I can, not sure if that's a "done thing" on this site but screw it! Thank you so much for your responses and your read when my story is so new.
ariesgirl shut up, stop foreshadowing. Jaysus it's like you want to ruin my fun xD
redlion75 parents and family will be an important theme, and the rarity of her kind will be a factor. I do like your plot twist thinking, but Olivia will play another role in the story that doesn't involve gay sex with Emily. Oh, and fictions you'll be seeing more of Olivia, just not in the immediate future. I promise.
by
Anonymous02/05/15
Good start
I hope you write this through. Lit. is like a never ending broken story line. I have stories that have over 100,000 words that I would not think of posting untill I have a handle on the ending. 19000 to 21000 words in Lit. are normal for chapters. I hope to read of this.
Yeah it was supposed to be David but I played around with the name Jacob in the early drafts. For whatever reason I missed it when editing. Be assured, they are the same character.
English
cute
I liked it thought it was cute. I wish it was longer and sincerely hope you avoid the clichés. P.S. my favorite character is Olivia hope she's has a cool animal counterpart.
since she is a rare were(hey that rhymes kinda) then finding out about her parents should be easy.and wouldnt it suck if he was the wrong guy it was actually the girl next to him.hey they are from the gay coast.
They are making all of these plans without doing some homework on the guy first. Who is to say that David will be happy to be Emily's mate?
Great start. Can u make the chapters longer plz
Thanks a bunches!
This was my first post, so I wasn't sure how long the pages would end up being. This was a test run, and I definitely need to make the chapters longer, as my 5 or so pages on Word didn't even transfer to a second page here on literotica. I'll try to respond to criticism and comments as best I can, not sure if that's a "done thing" on this site but screw it! Thank you so much for your responses and your read when my story is so new.
ariesgirl shut up, stop foreshadowing. Jaysus it's like you want to ruin my fun xD
redlion75 parents and family will be an important theme, and the rarity of her kind will be a factor. I do like your plot twist thinking, but Olivia will play another role in the story that doesn't involve gay sex with Emily. Oh, and fictions you'll be seeing more of Olivia, just not in the immediate future. I promise.
Good start
I hope you write this through. Lit. is like a never ending broken story line. I have stories that have over 100,000 words that I would not think of posting untill I have a handle on the ending. 19000 to 21000 words in Lit. are normal for chapters. I hope to read of this.
Loved it!
Absolutely loved it! Please keep writing...
Great start.
I sure hope you continue and most important, conclude, this story!
Happy writing!!
something i forgot it went from her marrying david to jacob?
to redlion
Yeah it was supposed to be David but I played around with the name Jacob in the early drafts. For whatever reason I missed it when editing. Be assured, they are the same character.
i loved it!
I cant wait for more!
Looking forward to more, but please don't be like a lot of others on this site and leave us hanging for months on end for each chapter.
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