I could have done without that last bit, but I really was into it right to that point. Super hot, give us more!
by
Anonymous02/05/15
bad ending
what the hell was with the last bit? should of went somewhere else with the ending
by
Anonymous02/06/15
Stupid story
Ridiculous
by
Anonymous02/08/15
More
Would like to have had more and sooner!
by
Anonymous02/09/15
Needs editing
You constantly switched back and forth between past and present tense, and first and second person. It might have been enjoyable otherwise but the lack of editing made it pretty much unreadable.
English
Loved it up to the breakdown
I could have done without that last bit, but I really was into it right to that point. Super hot, give us more!
bad ending
what the hell was with the last bit? should of went somewhere else with the ending
Stupid story
Ridiculous
More
Would like to have had more and sooner!
Needs editing
You constantly switched back and forth between past and present tense, and first and second person. It might have been enjoyable otherwise but the lack of editing made it pretty much unreadable.
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