I Thought We Were More Ch. 12

Congratulations

You now are the proud owner of the worst story on this site. Making people read 11 chapters only to completely fuck over your audience is an asshole move. This story is so bad I am going to go back to the previous chapters and vote them a 1. Please move this shit to either sci-if or fetish where it belongs.

Pbhtttt

I really enjoyed chapters 1 through mid 11. Do not like this turn at all. Story line for chapter 13: reveal 11 and 12 as a dream, he and Heather fall in love, live happily after and end the thing, or even kill each other, but not this weird shit.

Anon take a moment to consider

every story has to have a bad guy. If you are that upset about what this person has done to Jacob then clearly I have created a good bad guy. if I wanted to write just another erotic novel then I would end it the way you suggested. Stay tuned and look at all of the interesting events that are about to unfold.

I stopped reading after Jacob blacked out

and the bizarre BDSM slave master researcher was introduced. To me, this is not a twist, this is a blind leap into a second story. There were plenty of bad guys in the original tale and the draw was how Jacob was dealing with the fall out from his actions and lies about those actions. Now readers who have invested time heart and thought into the story told in the first 11 chapters will never know how that story ends. Maybe FTDS can straighten this mess out.
What I found most offensive was that Jacob was beginning to grow as a character and when attacked by Heather he made no attempt to defend himself. All he did was swat at his back like he was a child with a bug after him. he should have been attempting to snapp the neck of his attacker and calling 911.
As I said, I could not finish this chapter and will not spend any time on future chapters.

Yeah, I read this and the next couple chapters. The "twist" doesn't make any sense. There's a whole list of characters and directions this story could have gone without adding something that a) was never even foreshadowed and b) is completely impossible anyways. Doesn't make any sense.

we

just leapt into the twilight zone, was this really necessary. TK

I've been liking this story up to now, but I'm not sure I really like where you took it with this chapter.